


Memory Machine

by WildCard4505



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Big Brother Sans (Undertale), Bullying, Deja Vu, Depressed Sans (Undertale), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flowey (Undertale) Being an Asshole, Flowey Remembers Resets (Undertale), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gaster is remembered by some, Hurt/Comfort, Memories, References to Depression, Sans (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Sans (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Scientist Sans (Undertale), Scientist W. D. Gaster, Smart Papyrus (Undertale), Undertale Saves and Resets, W. D. Gaster is not related to Skelebros, Wordcount: Over 30.000, baby bones, skelebros, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2020-06-26 02:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 50,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildCard4505/pseuds/WildCard4505
Summary: Alphys creates a machine that can display a monsters memories and invites Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Toriel, and Frisk to help test it out. Sans is suspicious but agrees to help. His suspicions turn out to be well founded when something goes wrong and they have no way to stop the test. To make matters worse the one person who didn't want his memories shown is having them played like a movie. Now the group is forced watching Sans' most important memories to the end but maybe it could be fate. Sans has been secretive far too long or are somethings better left forgotten.*every other Saturday updates (or Sunday if I'm behind)*





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite: 4/26/20

Alphys fidgeted in the corner. Confused looks were directed at her from around the room. Next to her was a large, tarp covered machine. 

“U-um, okay everyone”. Everyone consisted of Sans, Papyrus, Toriel, Undyne, and Frisk. Alphys smiled nervously “I b-bet you're wondering w-why you’re here” affirmative hums filled the room. “O-Okay, well this is why” She pulled the tarp down dramatically. There was a chorus of ‘oohs’ but Alphys focused her attention on Sans. He had the most experience and knowledge of this type and seemed to be dissecting the machine as he looked. The others saw the machine as a complicated mush of technology. They would see it as impressive but wouldn’t know why. Sans understood, he saw the beauty in the circuit boards and the intelligence (or stupidity) of the design itself. She was pleasantly surprised when Sans smiled and gave her a thumbs up. 

“That looks Awesome Babe!” Shouted Undyne and Alphys blushed from the energetic response. 

“I agree! However the others might be wondering what it does. Not me of course! The Great Papyrus understands completely!” Sans turned his head to hide his snickers from his over exuberant brother. Alphys smiled and explained. Her stutter, which had already significantly improved over the years, had all but vanished as she did so. She was completely in her element. She riddled off an outrageously complicated explanation that no one could follow. No one except Sans who was listening intently while somehow keeping his nonchalant exterior. 

The room was filled with blank faces afterward and Sans translated without thinking. “It taps into a monster's soul and core magic so it can see memories that shaped a monsters, or humans I’m assuming?” Sans paused and looked to Alphys for confirmation. She nodded and Sans continued. “- shaped their personality.” His translation was met with more blank looks. Mostly out of surprise he understood. 

Papyrus, seemingly not surprised at all responded with a thanks. “I mean thanks for explaining to the others of course!” He covered quickly. 

Alphys pressed on “y-yeah. Anyway I need test subjects and I was wondering…” She trailed off and noticed Sans’ suspicious look. 

“The Great Papyrus would love to help test your experiment! I am sure Sans would love too as well” 

A look that quickly turned to surprise when his brother agreed without thought, dragging him with. Everyone else followed suit and agreed. 

Alphys nodded “I’ll grab six helmets then” Sans stepped-up “You need some help with those”. Alphys nodded and Sans followed her to the workbench. It was strange for Sans to go back to the old lab. Monsters had almost completely moved to the surface after Frisk broke the barrier, leaving most buildings abandoned. Normally the Underground was just a place to visit for a nostalgia filled walk, even some monsters didn’t want that. Harboring some illogical fear that the mountain would close up around them and they’d be stuck for another millennia. Sans was one of those monsters, he didn’t think the barrier would magically appear in 5 seconds but being underground made him slightly uneasy.

They were free and he was determined to stay free.

Unfortunately, there weren't any big buildings Alphys could use to house her lab equipment so she elected to say down here. Transitioning from living with her not so subtle girlfriend and working Underground in the lab. Alphys walked to her table and held one of the helmets in her hands. Sans was busy taking in the familiar look of the lab. A little more cluttered, somehow, but it still had the same aesthetic. “O-Okay Sans, spill” Sans snapped his head to Alphys. 

“What?” Alphys pinched her nose in frustration.

“I’m not dumb Sans. Y-you just volunteered yourself for work that n-nobody offered to get done. W-Which means you wanted to talk to me.” Alphys said and began piling the helmets and other tools into Sans arms.

“Okay you caught me red handed” Sans laughed. 

“Listen, not that I don’t trust your engineering skills but I don't how I feel about being a- didn’t you say you only needed six helmets!-” Sans groaned trying desperately not to drop the pile of tools and helmets in his arms, effectively cutting off his own sentence. 

“I-I just wanted to s-see how much I could p-put in your arms before you said s-something” Alphys was laughing and Sans sported the most annoyed look on his face. What you could see of his face that is, most of it was covered by the pile. Alphys took some stuff off the pile and grabbed some helmets to carry for herself. 

Soon the two were walking back into the main room and Sans realized he had never finished his statement. ‘And I thought I was good at directing conversation’ Sans thought as he handed a helmet out to everyone. 

“Okay I-I’m going to fit each of the h-helmets to you so they stay on. B-be careful n-not to block the sensor at the top and be gentle with them.” Alphys was going around with a screwdriver and tightening the straps on the bottom of the helmets. 

When she came to Sans he had yet to put the machine on his head.

“Listen Alph, I don’t think I’ll be joining you.” Sans said holding the helmet out for Alphys to take. 

“Sans-” Alphys started but was interrupted by two booming voices. 

“Sans!”

“Brother!” Sans flinched at the loudness. It was quite the yell and Sans was normally used to Undyne and Papyrus’ lack of volume control. Next came Frisk who grabbed his arm jumping up and down. 

“Please!” they said, not quite as loud as his brother, but not their quiet voice either. 

“Listen I’m just not comfortable with this-” 

“What! you're too lazy to do something for your friend!” Undyne shot back and was quickly reprimanded by Alphys. Undyne stepped closer to Sans regardless. 

“The royal guard disbanded Undyne, you’re not my boss anymore” Sans said his voice level and began to walk away. 

“I bet we’d all dust before he decided to do something for us”. Undyne mumbled. It was clearly not intended to be heard but Sans heard it loud and clear. He froze in his tracks and clenched his fists. The others, who hadn’t heard his comment, looked on confused by Sans’ sudden reaction. Sans flung a bone attack into the wall next to him, earning a few concerned looks from those around him. 

He sighed “Alright let's get this show on the road” Sans said reaching for the helmet. Alphys reluctantly handed it to him. The room was silent as Alphys tightened down the strap. 

“Sans don’t do this if you're not comfortable. I-I understand. I-I’m sure they will too.” She told him. Sans fiddled with the strap nervously before looking at his friend. 

“I’ll be fine” Sans said, sounding like he was convincing himself as much as Alphys. She nodded and moved on to her own helmet. 

“I-I’ll be joining you all in the experiment. W-when the memories come they should appear on that screen” She gestured to a white computer screen attached to the large contraption. She messed with a few dials before counting down. 

“Ready?” She asked finally and the room nodded. Alphys pulled a switch and Sans heard a brief spark. He felt a moment of panic when he noticed it came from the area his bone had hit. Suddenly, there was a pull, not unlike the pull of his shortcuts, and he was standing in white room. Or at least he thought it was room. The white went on for miles never giving any indication of boundaries. He looked around and saw the others. All with the same bewildered expressions on their faces as they saw the white room. At that moment only one word came to Sans’ mind.

“Shit” Sans mumbled.


	2. Do You wanna build a snowman / Tall guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Future:  
> Italics are memories  
> Normal text is real life
> 
> Enjoy the Chapter!
> 
> rewrite: 4/26/20

“Was this supposed to happen?” Frisk asked quietly, looking nervously around the room. Sans waited for the answer as well. Alphys looked around frantically. 

“N-No, it was- it was supposed to just s-show up on the screen in front of us! N-Not This!” Sans looked away guiltily and a large screen caught his eye. It showed a view of the lab and Sans realized it was more of a window. He saw all six of them sitting with the helmets still firmly attached. 

“Uhh Alph. I found our screen.” Sans stared at the other side. Everything looked bigger and once in a while the screen would glitch, fuzzing very similarly to a TV on the wrong channel. “H-how….” Alphys gasped quietly as she stood next to him. 

“Um, Explanations?” Sans questioned lightly. Hoping Alphys had some idea of what happened. “Maybe?” She answered and turned back the group who had frozen noticing the screen as well. Sans wondered how he didn’t notice it sooner. It stuck out like a sore thumb in the pure whit. The only thing with some type of definition besides his friends.

“Okay, I-I think the Machine malfunctioned. It seems to have b-brought our consciousness’ into the device itself…” Alphys said. 

“Wait so that's really me!” Undyne yelled running towards the screen. 

“I’m just sitting out there!” Undyne looked astonished. 

Papyrus walked forward as well, albeit slower. 

“My armor is filthy!” He exclaimed looking like he wanted to jump through the screen to clean it. Sans laughed silently at the fact that no matter what, Papyrus was still a neat freak. Toriel quietly mumbled an “oh dear” before tugging a pale Frisk closer to her. Sans shook off his surprise “Okay, okay so… How do we get out?”. 

Alphys shook her head “Without knowing what went wrong….” Alphys trailed off and became very interested in her shoes.

“The wall is sparking!” She yelled to Alphys. The lizard decided to forego her conversation with Sans and walked towards the screen where Undyne was looking. Her eyes widened at the sight of the wall and began to mumble. She passed back and forth in front of the screen occasionally glancing into the large room. Undyne stepped back to give her room. 

“Wait isn’t that where you shot that attack?” Undyne turned to Sans. Sans was busy taking in his surroundings again, still astonished from current events. 

“Maybe.” He responded automatically. Undyne growled quietly and turned Sans around to face her, effectively surprising the skeleton. 

“Are you even taking this seriously!” She questioned achingly. Sans just stood calmly with his eyes closed as he responded. 

“Undyne I suggest you let me go” He said calmly but his tone borderline threatening. Papyrus, who heard his brother's tone, turned his attention to the situation in front of him. 

“Or what?” Undyne asked. Her hands remained on Sans’ shoulders out of pure spite. 

“Guys that's enough, Alphys needs to focus” Frisk jumped in, backed by Papyrus who asked if Sans could help Alphys. The shorter Skeleton shrugged Undyne’s hands off. 

“Probably not bro. I mean I didn’t build one gasket of this thing” Sans responded. 

“Maybe just having another set of eyes?” Frisk shrugged. Suddenly Alphys yelled out “Got it”. “Got what?” Undyne asked. 

“How to g-get out” Alphys.

“That’s wonderful!” Toriel commented, but Alphys seemed slightly troubled. 

“I t-think that whatever happened-” She put emphasis on whatever looking pointedly at Sans who guiltily rubbed the back of his skull. “-damaged the event handler portion of the server in the wall. Meaning that once the machine finishes it’s sequence we should be good to go.” The others looked around confused. 

“W-what I mean is… we’re p-probably gonna have to watch s-someones complete memories before we can l-leave..” Alphys translated nervously. 

“That’s it!” Undyne yelled with her usual enthusiasm. 

“I suppose that’s what we're here to do in the first place” Toriel laughed. Alphys relaxed and turned and looked at the screen. 

“I guess we just wait for it to start” Sans shrugged and sat on the empty floor. He still seemed uneasy but hid it well behind his lax attitude.

On que the screen the frizzled like a TV screen and video started playing. Alphys, who was precariously studying the screen jumped back. Eyes widened when the screen showed two small skeletons in the snow. The shorter one was dancing around in the snow. He reached up for snow flakes and watched in wonder as they melted on his black gloves. The taller one smiled fondly at him with his ungloved hands hanging by his sides. A long black coat hung off his shoulders almost reaching his feet. 

“Are we watching Papyrus’ memories! Sweet!” Undyne exclaimed. Sans mimicked the smile he wore in the scene as he watched his younger brother lay on the snow making a snow angel. “A-actually i think these are Sans’ memories, l-look at how the picture is centered around him” Alphys corrected. 

Sans froze “Alphys can you change it” He looked tense “I-I’m sorry Sans but i didn’t pick and I can't change it”. Sans smile all but vanished. He sighed and saw the others captivated by the Younger Papyrus. 

Sans supposed he was about 8, meaning Sans was only 10. 

Alphys walked to him “Sans...i-i’m sorry” Sans looked up at her “I u-understand wanting to have your secrets b-believe me, but n-nobody here will judge you” Sans smiled slightly and nodded. “Yeah.” Alphys looked up at the memory as Frisk came over and sat next to Sans. 

“Hey kiddo what up” Sans said, raising an eyebrow . 

“Papyrus is shorter than you,” Frisk said, giggling gesturing to the screen. Sans chuckled 

“That he is”. ‘It’s been a while since I could play the “I’m taller” card’ Sans thought. 

“Brother! I think this when we first moved to Snowdin!” Papyrus yelled running over to Sans. 

“I was thinkin’ that too” Sans said as Papyrus settled himself between Frisk and Sans. 

Toriel turned to Sans “Moved?” Sans nodded in response. 

“We didn’t always live in Snowdin. Used to be down in New Home.” Sans responded and Papyrus nodded in agreement. 

“Never thought you’d be a big city type” Undyne laughed and Sans chuckled. All evidence of their past encounter seemed to be forgotten. 

“Neither did I” Sans laughed. The group let the memory capture their full attention. 

* * *

_ A 10 year old Sans watched his brother shake off the excess snow on his jacket and admire his snow angel. He mimicked Papyrus’ action from earlier and held out his hand letting the snow fall on it. It melted at his touch but not before leaving a tinge of cold on his fingers. When they arrived at the village it took his breath away. The whole village had an air of acceptance coupled with a homey atmosphere.  _

_ He heard the gasps from his little brother, Papyrus.  _

_ Looking down to him with a warm smile “Welcome home Pap” he said. Papyrus looked up to him with the brightest smile he had seen from him yet and it made his smile a little bigger. Sans turned back to the scene in front of him and pulled his brother along by his hand. Sans admires the snow on the ground. Almost all of it was covered in footprints of various sizes and types. Piles of snow covered with handprints popped up every so often. If you found a rare patch of untouched snow it looked like diamonds were scattered across its surface.  _

_ Realizing what was happening Papyrus jumped ahead soon pulling Sans through the winter wonderland.  _

_ “Whoa slow down Papyrus!” he chuckled as he struggled to keep up. ‘Papyrus may be smaller but he has boundless energy’ Sans thought almost tripping as his feet were in the process of being left behind. Despite the cold, every building looked warm and welcoming.  _

_ A wooden building with a neon sign that read “Coal”s bar and grill” caught his attention but he couldn’t spend time admiring it. Papyrus pulled him to an empty patch of snow and started rolling large balls of the powder. Sans flopped back into a puff of snow laughing as the snow flew into the air around him and landed on his face. He pulled his tattered hat off and used it to wipe his face off as he stood-up. He was met with the sight of his younger brother struggling to place the head of the snowman. Sans laughed as Papyrus stretched his short arm out hoping to reach. Papyrus whipped his head around and glared at him.  _

_ “Aww come on Pap don’t be like that, here I'll help” Sans used his magic surrounding his brother in a warm blue glow. Papyrus giggled at the feeling of familiar magic and weightlessness. He picked up the snowman head as Sans lifted him so he could put it on. Once his feet touched the ground again the blue receded and Papyrus proudly smiled at his finished work.  _

_ “See us tall guys gotta help the short ones'' Sans said using his hand to compare their heights. Papyrus smacked his hand away  _

_ “You’re not even that much taller than me! One day I'll be super tall and I'll hold it over your head!” Papyrus exclaimed. Sans snorted and Papyrus looked at him in confusion before it dawned on him.  _

_ “I did NOT mean to make a pun!” Papyrus yelled. Sans thought he made it even funnier.  _

_ “I'm so proud” Sans said, playing along.  _

_ “Sans-” Papyrus tried to cut in.  _

_ “I'm such a bad influence” Sans laughed. Papyrus huffed and sat cross legged, his back to his brother. Papyrus put his hand to his teeth concealing a small giggle. Sans lifted Papyrus up on his shoulders, his eyes lights were wide and happy.  _

_ “There. Better?” Sans asked laughing with his brother. Both boys walked back to the town and walked in the restaurant they saw earlier. _

* * *

“So how is being the ‘Tall Guy’ working out Sans?” Toriel teased. 

“Come on Tori I was 10 I had to relish those days!” Sans grinned pointing out a bottle of relish sitting on the table. Groans echoed in the blank room the loudest of which was Papyrus’. 

“Come on bro I know you like my puns and that” Sans gestured the scene “just proved it”. 

“That proved nothing brother!” Papyrus said “admit it bro, you can’t get enough of my punny attitude” Sans added. 

“NOOO!” Papyrus yelled, wanting nothing more than to stomp off but he settled for dramatically plopping down on the floor. 

Sans chuckled and Frisk walked up to him “Why does Pap ‘hate’ puns?” They asked making quotes with their hands on the word ‘hate’. 

“Kinda my fault, I over used them on my birthdays” Sans replied chuckling. Toriel turned to Sans “I’m afraid I don’t know your birthday” The others mumbled in agreement. 

Sans smirked “April 1st”. Undyne doubled over laughing repeating “Oh my god” over and over. “You can’t be serious” Toriel commented. 

“He is.” Papyrus said exasperated from where he was pouting. Toriel started laughing as well. “Why would be anytime else?” Frisk said through their giggles. Suddenly the screen came to life again and they watched with anticipation.


	3. Welcome to Snowdin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to punch those monsters writing this
> 
>   
> (for those who are confused Sans is 10 and Papyrus is 8.)  
> rewrite: 4/26/20

_ The brothers left the bar feeling immensely satisfied. Sans couldn’t believe how good the food was. Everything was made fresh and it showed. Once in a while Sans would notice a group of teens staring at them from another table but he didn’t let it bother him. They had gotten a good bit away from the restaurant when Sans heard footsteps behind him. It was another thing Sans ignored. After All this was a town, a lively one from what he’d seen. There wasn’t anything wrong with someone else walking around. That’s what Sans kept telling himself as they walked.  _

_ Papyrus grinned brightly and turned to Sans. _

_ “Can we check on Mr. Snowman!” Papyrus asked hopefully. Sans thought and checked the time, the snowman they built was a little past the town. They could make it there pretty quick. Ignoring how much he wanted to sleep after his large meal, Sans agreed. Papyrus jumped up and quickened their pace. Sans didn’t doubt that even though they only visited once, Papyrus had the route memorized.  _

_ Sans concentrated on his feet as he stumbled to keep up with the younger skeleton. Sans hand slipped free of Papyrus’ glove and Sans slowed down.  _

_ “Pap wait up!” He called and Papyrus slowed but didn’t stop.  _

_ “Papyrus!” Sans groaned trying to catch his breath and Papyrus finally stopped. He huffed and walked towards Sans. Suddenly Sans felt a hand land on his shoulder sending an ice cold shiver up his spine. He turned his head and saw a group of bunnies. He recognized them from Coal’s. He felt a sense of dread but pushed it down.  _

_ ‘Maybe they're just trying to welcome us to the town’ He rationalized not wanting to make assumptions, but the pit in his stomach remained. Papyrus, oblivious to his brother's discomfort, skipped up to the bunnies.  _

_ “Hello friends!” He said happily and held out his hand.  _

_ “My name’s Papyrus! What your names?” He said. Sans smiled at his brother's outgoing attitude. Even so he shrugged the bunnies purple fur covered hand off his shoulder and stood next to Papyrus. Each of the teens looked a little different. One had light grey fur and was taller, the shortest of the group had light pink fur, and the bunny with purple fur was around the same height as the grey furred bunny. The group just laughed at Papyrus’ introduction. Sans winced seeing his happy demeanor lower slightly.  _

_ “Is this- This is how it works right?” He turned to Sans, his hand still outstretched.  _

_ “Yeah they’re just not being nice.” He said back. Papyrus hummed and turned back to teens.  _

_ He lowered his hand “What’s so funny?” Papyrus asked but his question only served to make them laugh louder.  _

_ Sans scowled “Come on Pap let’s go” Sans led his brother away towards their snowman.  _

_ “Aw don’t leave '' One of the bunnies finally said breaking through the laughter of his friends. Sans kept walking even as Papyrus turned to look back. The others had stopped laughing “Yeah we were just trying to have some fun” another said.  _

_ “Sans…” Papyrus placed one of his smaller hands on tops of Sans’ and looked at him. The look conveyed more than talking could and with a sigh Sans released his brother who turned to walk back to the teens. They smiled wider but something was wrong. Sans could see the malice behind their smiles. Finally letting his gut win Sans threw an arm in front of Papyrus stopping him in his tracks.  _

_ “Something isn’t right bro” They’re smiles twitched at Sans’ concern.  _

_ “Maybe they just want to make friends.” Papyrus said. He was obviously slightly annoyed with Sans but he didn't care. Sans didn’t like the situation and everything in his bones was telling him no. Even the atmosphere had a sour taste to it that Papyrus either didn’t detect or chose to ignore.  _

_ “Maybe but… but they don’t deserve to be your friends, okay?” Papyrus looked affronted at the comment but agreed.  _

_ “fine.” He said shortly. The grey bunny cut in his voice loud and easily carried by the slight breeze.  _

_ “We don’t deserve-'' He laughed quietly and his voice was filled with anger. Somehow it made Sans even more uneasy. The group walked towards them, led by the grey rabbit.  _

_ “You think we can’t be friends with this freak!” The rabbit grabbed Papyrus’ arm and pulled him toward the group. Sans reached out but missed the sleeve of his jacket. He stumbled and landed in the snow that was still falling around him. _

_ “Let him go.” Sans said lowly, his hands clenched into fists. He stood and faced his offender. _

_ “Aww we’re just being friendly” Said the light pink rabbit taking Papyrus. Both of Sans’ eyes glowed blue and he pulled Papyrus to him with his magic.  _

_ “Thank you.” He said courtly, turning to walk away. Somehow during the debokle they had spun around and Sans had a clear path back to town. With Papyrus in front of him he began to walk. Sans predicted the punch before it came. He heard the whoosh of air coming for his head and instinctively moved it at the last second. The grey bunny stumbled forward, betrayed by his own momentum, and Sans kicked his back sending him face first into the cold powder below. Sans was shocked by his own reaction speed. In that moment it felt like time was working for him, slowing down as he dodged the punch. He got up and swung again but this time Sans was ready. Time slowed and he dodged like second nature moving to the side of the bully. Sans smiled and decked bunny in his face, making the bully stumble and fall as he took one point of damage. _

_ Papyrus had a very similar expression of shock on his face before pointing and yelling “Behind you!”. Sans turned and barely dodged another incoming punch from a pink fist. Sans smiled and dodged each of her hits. Taking immense gratification as her face grew more frustrated with each swing. Sans knew he was being cocky but he didn't care. For the first time he felt in control, he felt like he had a chance. A one HP monster normally doesn’t get very far when it comes to battles, but he was breaking the rules. And something about that was exciting. _

_ He laughed as he dodged right as the pink bunny flew straight at him. She earned a face full of snow as well. After standing-up and readying another punch, she smiled wider and briefly Sans thought something was up before he dodged.  _

_ Into another monster.  _

_ Sans eye sockets widened and he jumped back. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in the back of his skull knocking him to the ground. The pink bunny stepped in front of him laughing, her fist still clenched tightly. He heard his brother scream and forced himself to stand up despite the nasua. The three rabbits were advancing on Papyrus who was frozen staring at Sans. Sans saw tears stream down his face. His eye sockets were small and wavering. Sans stood on shaky legs and threw his hat at one attacker. The simple movement almost made him double over. It hit one of the bullies harmlessly. _

_ “I-I’m not done yet” Sans said and smirked. The rabbits turned their attention to him as he’d hoped. Another punch came but he was slower and hit his shoulder. He stumbled back and feigned falling but instead ducked under his arm and ran to his brother. He fell to his knees dizzy and disoriented in front of him.  _

_ “Sans!” Papyrus hugged him tight. He managed a weak smile and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I can’t believe it only took one hit for you to become this” One said in disgust. He heard them walk up behind and Sans hugged Papyrus tight.  _

_ “How weak are you?” Sans shut his eyes tight blocking out their familiar words and ran with Papyrus in his arms.  _

_ He ignored the loud “COME BACK HERE” from behind him and made a B-line straight to town. Each step sent a wave of searing pain to his skull but he couldn’t stop. Sans couldn’t help but think that if he’d just left, stopped showing-off, this never would have happened. How if he’d just put his foot down earlier he wouldn’t be hurt. Papyrus wouldn’t be crying, wouldn’t be scared. He wouldn’t be running blindly into the town they’d just moved into. Sans ran to the only building he knew but collapsed just outside the door. His head was ringing and his vision wavered.  _

_ Papyrus yelled but Sans couldn’t respond. He tried to get up but his body wasn’t working and instead he fell completely to the ground. He vaguely felt Papyrus shaking him, barely heard him yelling. Finally he saw a warm hand reach for him as he plunged into darkness. _


	4. Silverlining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grillby and Sans fluff! 
> 
> BTW no romance just friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't said it before but please leave any constructive criticism you have and comment about grammar/spelling mistakes, that goes for any chapter. i really appreciate it. 
> 
> That said enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Rewrite:4/26/20
> 
> 2020: Last complete overhaul Chapter!!

Silence filled the empty room. All eyes where on Sans even Papyrus seemed taken aback. Sans figured the memory wasn't very vivid to him. That's assuming he hadn’t forgotten it entirely. Sans squirmed under all the attention and only wished the memories would move on but conveniently Alphys said the machine needs time to advance. So Sans was stuck with no shortcuts away from everyone. Another benefit of their field trip was the lack of magic. It was something Sans could figure and could’t explain. Papyrus was the first to notice Sans’ distress but instead of redirecting attention from him Papyrus silently walked up to Sans and hugged him tightly. Sans decided it was his turn to break the tension. 

“Hey Pap, I know that sucked but there’s no need to give me a bone-crushing hug” Sans said. “There is every need Brot-” Papyrus stopped mid sentence and held Sans in front of him by his shoulders. 

“That was a pun wasn’t it” Papyrus said with a hint of disappointment. It was a question he already knew the answer to.

“yep”. 

Papyrus groaned but didn’t do a very good job at hiding his small smile. Sans decided not to comment. As Sans expected and hoped the others started talking again after the interaction. Granted it was still about the scene they all just watched and most were concerned remarks about his lost HP from the fight especially from Frisk. Sans dodged the questions faster than he dodged the punches back then. Alphys being the scientist she was asked if he actually slowed time down when he dodged. 

“Um- well It feels that way to me but it’s hard to tell whether I slow time down or that's just how I see it.” 

“C-Can you dodge right now?” she asked. 

“Sorry, it's more of an instinct thing really” Sans said rubbing the back of his skull sheepishly. Alphys nodded understandingly. Sans retreated silently out of the conversations. Everyone was so busy talking to each other that they didn’t notice the small skeleton slinking away.

“NYAAAA” Everyone jumped and turned Undyne. 

“Did you all forget that those PUNKS just ATTACKED A KID!”. 

“When we get outta here I'm gonna find those kids and-” Sans sighed. He was kinda touched that Undyne cared but figured he should cut in before she actually did as she was threatening. Undyne wasn’t one to say things she didn’t mean. 

“Hey” Undyne looked at Sans and once again all of the attention was back on him. 

“Look I appreciate it but remember this was all in the past it's not gonna help to be upset about it now”. Sans and the other heard the screen start-up again. ‘Finally’ Sans thought. He looked over at Undyne who still seemed discontented. Sans stood next to her and said a final comment before turning to the screen. 

“Plus if that didn’t happen I never would have learned I could dodge like a bad-ass..it’s a really useful skill to have.” Undyne laughed, obviously not catching the last part of the statement. 

Toriel glared at Sans for swearing in front of Frisk. Sans turned to Frisk to apologize and appease Toriel's ‘no swearing rage’ but was met with a concerned and guilty face. Sans realized Frisk must of heard what he mumbled talking to Undyne. Flashes of dodging a knife in a yellow lit room entered his mind but he pushed them aside. Afterall he was the only one who remembers. He sent Frisk a wink and thumbs up, telling Frisk not to worry about it. This seemed to make them feel better as they turned to the already playing memory.

* * *

_ Sans had woken up in a strange house on the couch. He had been sitting taking in his surroundings. Papyrus was cuddled up next to him arms wrapped around his torso. He felt better there was no more ringing, he was slightly dizzy which was he why he didn't stand up yet. He was tired but was trying to say alert in case they were still in danger. A man walked into the room coming over to him before noticing he was awake. The man was made of a red fire that emanated comfort and warmth which calmed his suspicions slightly.  _

_ “How are you feeling” he crackled in a rough voice.  _

_ “Um...good i guess” Sans said. Papyrus began to stir but woke up instantly once he noticed his brother was awake.  _

_ “Sans!” he yelled hugging him tightly. The man smiled at the two but chuckled as the younger lectured the other on ‘being safe’ and ‘never doing that again’. Sans laughed too as his brother was trying to keep a stern face.  _

_ “And I can believe you were so lazy, sleeping for 2 days!”. Sans coughed and looked at the man incredulously.  _

_ “Two days really!?” the man simply nodded. _

_ Sans turned back to his brother “sorry Pap didn’t realize i was such a lazy bones” Papyrus groaned. A small unfamiliar laugh sounded from the doorway of the house. Sans turned and saw another kid that looked to be about his age. He looked just like the man except his flame was more orange and he wore a pair of black glass.  _

_ “Grillby, I thought I told you to say upstairs” The man scolded.  _

_ “Sorry dad I just wanted to see if he was awake” their voice was quieter but still held a crackling undertone to it. The kid walked to Sans and he unconsciously held his brother tighter. The kid noticed and stopped just short of him and slowly put out his hand.  _

_ “My names Grillby, um like dad said, I’m a flame elemental” Sans looked at the hand warily but soon smiled at Grillby and released his brother to hold out his own hand.  _

_ “Sans, Sans the skeleton” He smiled. The two talked on the couch while Papyrus helped the man, named Coal as Sans soon learned, make dinner. They talked about anything and everything. Sans learned Grillby is only a month older than him, being born in May. Grillby learned about Sans’ love of jokes. The two became very close in a short amount of time. Sans soon forgot about his dizziness. Grillby told him the story of how they found him.  _

_ “Papyrus was yelling and my dad was just closing up the restaurant...” Grillby explained.  _

_ “He was really freaked out…” Sans chuckled nervously.  _

_ “Yeah… i bet” Grillby looked like he had something else to say but his thought was interuppted by Coal yelling “Dinner’s ready!” _

_ Grillby hopped up from the couch to go to the dining room. _

_ Sans went to get-up but his dizziness returned with a fury. Sans doubled over one hand clutching his stomach and the other on his head. Grillby ran and dragged his dad over.  _

_ “Sans whats wrong?” Coal asked “dizzy” Sans replied simply not trusting his stomach enough to say anything more. He felt warm magic fill his bones and he felt better than ever.  _

_ “Whoa” Sans said when the magic retreated.  _

_ “It’s called healing magic” Grillby said. Sans was sure he had heard that before. He thought for a second and it clicked.  _

_ “oh yeah! There were some healers in new home but I heard it was a really rare type of magic to have” Grillby nodded proudly. He obviously looked up to his dad a lot. Papyrus ran in and pulled Sans on his feet. Sans clenched his eyes expecting a wave of dizziness that never came. “Come on brother it’s time to eat. I helped make the food so it’s going to be delicious!” Sans smiled and gave a thumbs up to the concerned elementals as he was pulled into the kitchen.  _


	5. Busing Tables and Nicknames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: 4/26/20

“That was ADORABLE” Undyne said and Alphys squealed. 

“You and Grillby were s-so cute” Alphys turned to Sans. 

“Yeah we became friends pretty quick and best friends in no time at all” Sans said smiling. “Grillby and his dad were our first real friends in Snowdin” Sans finished. 

“I believe we lived with them didn’t we brother?” Papyrus asked. 

“Yeah you even wanted to share a room with Grillby at some point, I- uh- may have gotten a little jealous at that point.” Sans finished rubbing his head. Frisk laughed and Sans shot them a look but quickly dissolved into laughter. 

“I believe the next one is starting” Toriel said amused. 

“Come on more Sans and Grillby fluff!” Undyne said to the screen. Sans shook his head but silently wished for the same type of memory too.

  
  


* * *

_ “Table 3” Coal said from the kitchen as he put a plate on the counter. Sans and Grillby looked at each other before racing after the plate. Sans was behind Grillby but used his blue magic to move the plate towards him and pick it up before Grillby. Grillby glared at him, angry at his use of magic. Sans laughed as he brought the plate to the correct table and said the customary “enjoy your food”. Sans came back to the counter as Grillby still glared at him.  _

_ “So that’s one more point for me” Sans said smugly but Grillby shook his head.  _

_ “Nope you cheated” He said back. “I didn’t cheat. I just-” Sans paused to think before continuing with a smile.  _

_ “I just used my resources'' he finished glowing his eyes blue quickly for effect. Grillby huffed and reluctantly put another tally under Sans’ name. Once The elementals learned that Sans and Papyrus didn’t have anywhere to go they insisted they move in. Sans agreed but said that he would work for his place in the house. It didn’t feel right to move in with them without giving them something in return. Coal said no but Sans didn’t give up and Coal eventually told Sans he could work in a restaurant as a waiter and busboy with Grillby. Soon Grillby and Sans turned every opportunity into a competition. Today Sans bet he could serve more tables than Grillby during the shift and Grillby took him up on it.  _

_ Now here they were 15 minutes to closing time and Sans was 1 tally ahead while Grillby was trying to pull 2 customers in with his mind so he could win. Sans laughed as Grillby asked his dad to stay open later when he got up to flip the sign to closed and held his arm back when he said no. Grillby’s feet dug into the wood floor as he held his, obviously stronger, dad back.  _

_ “Admit it Grillbz, you lost” Sans said laughing.  _

_ “No you're not allowed to call me that” he protested turning and pointing at Sans. The action caused him to lose his grip on his dad's arm who promptly flipped the sign effectively declaring Sans’ win. _

_ ”Yes!”  _

_ “Noo..”. Sans turned to Grillby as they walked out of the store grinning like the cheshire cat. He had won nicknaming rights. They decided who ever one won could pick whatever nickname for the other person.  _

_ Grillby chose ‘Sansy’, and Sans chose ‘Grillbz’.  _

_ “So Grillbz-” Sans let the nickname sink in before continuing, chuckling at the weak groan of protest that followed.  _

_ “What’s the bet on tomorrow” Sans grinned as Grillby smacked him on the arm playfully. The two joked the whole way home. Later Sans would try to convince Papyrus to use his nickname too, but Grillby said he hadn’t won the bet so only Sans’ was allowed to call him that. _

* * *

This time there was no major interruption just laughs from all sides. Undyne was clutching her side laughing as she kept repeating that her prayers were answered. Frisk laughed as they remembered the obviously faked look of annoyance that had crossed Grillby’s face when Sans called him that on their first ‘date’ at Grillby’s. They remembered how confused they had been then but now it all made sense. 

Sans was chuckling at the memory as the next one started immediately he recognized the memory. Sans froze his sockets going black. Papyrus even mellowed down a sense of fear in his mind at the vaguely familiar scene. 

“Alphys” Sans said emotionlessly. She turned still smiling from the last memory but sobered quickly noticing Sans’ change in demeanor. 

“Can we skip a memory?” he asked, turning toward her slightly. 

She shook her head “n-no sorry”. Sans heard the now 12 year old hims’ footprints in the background and tensed up. He snapped out of it when a hand was placed on his shoulder and a small hand slipped into his. Papyrus and Frisk. He took a deep breath and turned to the screen with determination knowing his friends were behind him. The other taken aback by Sans’ reaction hesitantly turned to the scene with him. 


	6. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry skelebros!
> 
> edit: 4/26/20
> 
> Hey guys I'm super excited you all like my story but i'd like to apologize for all of the grammar and spelling mistakes. I looked over the chapters so far and fixed what I could find. That "edit:7/11/19" is just for me so I know I've prof-read after posting at least once. It would be really helpful to me if you guys would comment anything I might have missed. Multiple pairs of eyes are better then one! (Still can't believe more than 2 people read this). Anyways thank you all SO much for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy my story!
> 
> 2020: So current me is adding notes to chapters once in a while. Gotta love past me (Having my own MM adventure rn XD)

_ Papyrus had been getting antsy in the house so Sans’ had offered to go grocery shopping. He planned to let Papyrus run off some energy on the way there. Papyrus was running circles around Sans’, literally, and Sans was laughing at his little brother's antics. It was a quiet afternoon not quite dark yet but it would be soon. Sans wanted to get back before dark so Coal wouldn’t worry. The brothers had been living with Grillby and his dad for 2 years now. Sans tensed as a third set of footsteps came from behind, followed by a fourth and a fifth. Sans grabbed his brother's hand, something didn’t feel right. There was a sense of deja vu as Sans quickened his pace forward. He turned around to see who was behind him but his greeting was stuck in his throat.  _

_ “Well look who’s out all by himself again with his puny brother too”. Sans recognized that voice he clutched Papyrus’ hand harder and noticed he was shaking. The leader walked toward the two as did his familiar companions. Papyrus hesitantly looked him in the eyes.  _

_ “P-Please leave my brother and I alone and we will be on our w-way” Papyrus stuttered. Papyrus stuttered. Sans felt his anger grow but kept it in check. Papyrus had the right idea, they needed to avoid a fight if possible.  _

_ “Hmm” He pretended to think about it.  _

_ “How about.. _ **_No_ ** _ ”. Sans tried to pull his brother behind him but one of the bunnies grabbed Papyrus by the arm and pulled him back. The other held Sans back. He fought desperately against the paws holding his arms but it was no use. Somehow in the two years they had gotten even stronger.  _

_ “Sans!” Papyrus yelled in distress. Sans hoped someone would hear his yell.  _

_ “It-it’s gonna be okay Pap” Sans cursed his stuttering.  _

_ “Aw the baby’s crying for his pathetic older brother” The purple bunny said reaching for his face. “Don’t you touch him” Sans’ growled out.  _

_ “We’ve been watching you” the monster said  _

_ “You care a lot about this pip squeak don’t you” Sans eyes widened.  _

_ “N-No leave him alone!” He yelled and the group of bullies just laughed. Sans couldn’t tell if  _

_ “HELP-” Sans yelled in a last ditch effort. His cry was muffled by a grey furry paw covering his mouth. _

**_But nobody came._ **

_ The grey bunny scowled looking around but seeming satisfied that nobody was around. It was dark now adding to the terrifying atmosphere. Sans was shaking now too not out of fear for himself but fear for his brother. Papyrus’ expression hardened and he sent a bone attack at the bunny holding Sans. _

_ Papyrus’ magic was improving. Coal had been helping Sans teach him and he was a much better teacher than the older brother. Although Coal did ask Sans’ help explaining the logistics of their particular type of magic. The precision Papyrus showed was amazing but he was slightly lacking in pure power. Something Papyrus could develop with time. Part of it was he simply lacked any intent to make his attacks powerful. Sans was the opposite. His attacks could be unfocused but he had a lot of magic. Coal said he had a special type of magic that dealt more damage based on how bad a monster was. He didn’t understand it yet but he wanted to. It was frustratingly hard to manage though.  _

_ The bones weaved around Sans only hitting his attacker. They did small points of damage, even when being attacked Papyrus had no intent to hurt anyone. However, it was enough for Sans to wiggle free and run for his brother.  _

_ “YOU BRAT” The leader yelled as he threw Papyrus to the ground. Sans was prepared to pull him out of the fresh powder but his head hit a rock instead of soft snow. A sickening crack rang in Sans' head and his eyelights shrank until they were barely visible. Sans’ anger and fear caused him to lose control of his magic and himself. Both of his eye lights flamed a brilliant blue. “L-look dude we didn’t mean to- we just wanted to-to scare him a bit.” the leader stuttered his companions long gone. Sans’ felt a sharp pain in his left socket and heard another crack but it was all background noise to him. Animalistic skulls he had never seen appear on his sides. The leader yelled and ran away.  _

_ “Sans!” the rough voice brought him out of his rage. Tears streamed down his face like waterfalls. His head pounded and he clutched his left eye socket. He tried to walk to Papyrus but Coal grabbed his shoulders.  _

_ “No you can’t move, you might aggravate your injury, i don’t know why you didn’t lose any points but-”. Sans wasn’t having any of it. He tried to pull Coals hands off his shoulders as he fully came back to reality. His Brother was hurt.  _

_ “No NO I Have To Get To Him!” Sans said frantically trying to run to Papyrus.  _

_ “To Who? Sans!” Coal seemed even more worried but Sans wasn’t paying attention to him. All he could see was Papyrus lying motionless on the ground that sickening crack ringing in his head.  _

_ “PAPYRUS!” Sans ran to his brother Coal just behind him as he saw the state he was in.  _

_ Papyrus had a large crack on the side of his skull and some hairline cracks around his eyes, even more worrisome was that he was unconscious. Sans kneeled next to Papyrus, one hand reaching out to him shaking as if he would dust from just one touch. The other was still clutching Sans' eye. Coal didn’t see the full extent of the damage to Sans’ eye but he could see the big crack stretching out past where his hand could cover. Coal sent waves of healing magic into Papyrus, Sans refused to be healed until his brother was safe.  _

_ Coal carried Papyrus back to the house, Sans’ running behind him the best he could. With each step pain shot through his head. His body screamed at him to rest, but his mind knew he couldn't until he was sure Papyrus was safe. Coal placed Papyrus on the couch and began to heal him, Grillby who had come down in all the commotion was recruited to heal Sans. He had shown signs of being a healer like his dad. Grillby was worried and sent as much magic as he could muster into healing Sans.  _

_ “don’t overwork yourself Grillbz ” Sans mumbled concernedly, his eyes never leaving his brother's side.  _

_ “You’re a numbskull.” Grillby said matter of factly but anyone could hear the underlying worry. “I’ve always thought of myself as more of a bonehead” Sans laughed halfheartedly looking at Papyrus on the other side of the room.  _

_ “Is he-” Sans started. His voice was watery and hoarse from yelling. _

_ “He’ll be fine” Grillby said determined.  _

_ “How do-”  _

_ “I Know because my dad’s the best healer in Snowdin” Grillby sent a small smile at Sans  _

_ “and because he has a great older brother to come back to” Sans weakly smiled back at Grillby. Sans felt the healing magic take its toll on him.  _

_ “There we go no more crack” Grillby said. Sans nodded and yawned.  _

_ “Go ahead and sleep, dad said the healing magic also makes the receiver really tired.” Sans nodded but instead he stumbled over to the couch Coal was healing Papyrus on. The mix of healing magic and adrenaline were wearing off making it hard to walk or focus on much of anything. He leaned against the side of the couch one hand intertwined with his brothers before letting himself fall asleep. _


	7. Drink Ketchup and Keep on Winking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: 1/26/20

In the course of the memory Undyne and Alphys had gone from quiet reassurance to loudly crying against each other. Alphys said something about “it’s just like a really sad anime” at some point. Undyne was shaking with rage. Frisk had a death grip on the older skeleton as did a shaking Papyrus. Sans' eye sockets had gone dark. He knew what was going to happen starting the memory but reliving it opened the sealed wound. 

"They're dead, every last one of those Punks are dead" Undyne ground out through clenched teeth. Sans wanted to tell Undyne to forget about that and it was fine, but he couldn't. Truth is Sans was mad at those kids all over again. Sans reached for his brother absentmindedly and Papyrus happily obliged most likely needing the comfort as well. Sans and Papyrus hugged as everyone else surrounded them. 

“If this keeps up I'm not gonna have any bones to hug” Sans said trying to lighten the mood. The others laughed and slowly released the brothers. Sans looked up at his brother but instead he saw the little skeleton with a crack down the side of his skull turn to dust. His eye sockets widened and turned to black voids and Sans turned away quickly and looked at the screen praying for a good memory to play and skillfully avoiding the concerned glances of his Brother and Frisk.

* * *

_ Sans woke up slowly. “Morning Sleeping Beauty” Grillby said, giving Sans a burger with a bottle of ketchup and a soda. The smell hit him and he realized just how hungry he was. He ate the burger quickly and Grillby laughed at his appetite.  _

_ “That was the best burger I have ever eaten” Sans said, stretching and leaning against the couch again.  _

_ "Are you sure you even tasted it?" Grillby commented sitting next to his friend. Sans was staring longingly at his brother. He seemed so peaceful but that worried Sans even more.  _

_ “Look who’s being a lazy bones now” Sans said to his motionless brother. Grillby placed a reassuring hand on Sans' shoulder. Sans smiled weakly at the elemental. Grillby hated that smile, the one he used to make everyone think he was okay when he definitely wasn't.  _

_ The kind of smile you wear for others not yourself.  _

_ Grillby's face lowered in a scolding manner and Sans dropped the fake smile.  _

_ "Yeah I know Grillbz" Sans said rubbing his face. Grillby had grown accustomed to the nickname.  _

_ "it's almost become a habit" Grillby was even more worried by his comment.  _

_ "Don't let it become one okay, promise?" Grillby looked to Sans but he turned away. _

_ "at least promise you won't do that around me, I always know when your faking it anyway" Sans chuckled.  _

_ "yeah you can read me like a book" Grillby looked at Sans expectantly.  _

_ "Okay Grillbz I promise" Sans said seriously "and you never break a promise" Grillby finished. Sans nodded determinedly and reached for his soda but wasn't paying attention and accidentally grabbed the bottle of ketchup. Grillby went to tell him but was too late. Sans sputtered not expecting the taste of pure ketchup instead of sprite. Grillby covered his mouth trying not to laugh but failing miserably. Sans looked at the bottle in his hand with a blank expression. In the meantime Grillby was laughing so hard he fell on the ground. Grillby looked up a Sans who was still staring at the bottle blankly.  _

_ “Sans? What’s wrong-” Sans took another sip from the ketchup bottle and Grillby stared at him incredulously.  _

_ “Did you just- from the-” Grillby was at a loss of words. Sans just shrugged and winked at him with his right eye but instead of the one eyed view he had grown accustomed to there was just black. Startled, Sans quickly opened his right eye again. He looked at Grillby and nervously covered his right eye and black greeted him again.  _

_ “Sans?” Grillby asked worried. Sans looked terrified, his hand shaking as his eye lights grew wide.  _

_ “I can’t- I can’t see” Sans said. “ _

_ Oh no. uh hold on I'll be right back!!” Grillby panicked running into the office where Coal worked at home. Soon both elementals came out of the room Grillby running to sit next to his friend.  _

_ “Is it just your left eye” Coal asked professionally and Sans nodded.  _

_ "I'm sorry" Grillby mumbled and Sans looked at him questionably. ‘What did he have to be sorry for?’ Sans thought. Coal kneeled down to Sans who was still sitting in front of the couch with Grillby.  _

_ “Sans the damage to your eye was bad...After Grillby finished healing you I looked at it. Your own magic harmed you, it's something that's very rare.” Sans was watching him and Coal continued to explain. _

_ “You see a monsters body has limits ingrained in it that prevent you from using too much magic at once. But in-” Coal seemed to search for the right words. _

_ “-high risk situations. Those limits can be broken. Grillby did a great job healing but there are some injuries that even healing magic can’t fix.” He said looking down and Sans nodded sadly filling in the blanks.  _

_ His eye was permanently...broken.  _

_ He realized Grillby must be guilty since he was the one who healed him, but from what Coal said no magic would have healed his eye any better. He looked up at Grillby who refused to meet his gaze. Sans pushed away his sadness and smiled at him “I guess I'm gonna hafta start winking with my other eye” He said laughing. Grillby looked up surprised drops like tears behind his glasses and then laughed along with his best friend.  _

* * *

Sans didn’t wait for the question to come to him and said the answer first. 

“No, I still can’t see out of my left eye, can’t light it either”. Frisk gasped and hugged Sans who groaned. 

“Okay can we make a rule” Sans pulled Frisk off of him.

“No. More. Hugging.” Sans was only partially joking. Frisk looked reluctant but nodded at Sans. 

“Welcome to the one eye club dude!” Undyne yelled. 

"Technically I was in it before you" Sans teased "yeah but you didn't- you should have- NYAAH" Undyne finished eloquently before stomping off. “I have always wondered where your weird liking for ketchup came from brother" Papyrus said hand on his chin. Papyrus had known about Sans' eye for sometime even though he had tried to hide it. Papyrus remembered the days when Sans would wink with the wrong eye and jump. He would always brush it off but one day Papyrus cornered him and forced him to tell the truth. Granted he was still perturbed after seeing the events that lead to his disability. 

“Yep an accident became true love” Sans chuckled bringing Papyrus out of his thoughts.


	8. New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which a house made for 2 monsters doesn't work as a house for 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff Fluff FLUFF :D
> 
> figured the skele-bros needed a break! 
> 
> edit: 4/26/20

_ Sans was busing tables again, sliding around the dining area with ease. It was a bit lonelier since Grillby had begun working in the kitchen with his dad making the food.  _

_ His burgers were beginning to rival his dads.  _

_ Sans had started working for gold now that he was 16. Papyrus was old enough to work but he decided he wanted to join the ‘Royal Guard’. It was his dream ever since he wandered away from Sans (and scared the marrow outta him doing so) and saw the guard training. Sans didn’t mind, he thought it was cute. He thought Papyrus might make it one day. His magic control is amazing, although sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with it. Sans served his last customer and said he would close up and meet Grillby and Coal at home.  _

_ He sent Grillby a wink and Grillby gave him a thumbs up in return before leading his dad out the door. Sans couldn’t help but think it was weird seeing Grillby without his glasses. His eyes almost looked smaller. _

_ He did close up but the real reason he stayed behind is because of a house. Sans had thought it would be nice to have his own place with Papyrus. He's had his eye on an empty house in their price range and he asked to look around the inside. The monster couple that lived there was moving to Waterfall and agreed. He walked to the lot shivering from the cold. He forgot to grab a coat from Coal before he left this morning. Luckily the house wasn't far from the restaurant.  _

_ It was a detail that put the house on the top of his list. He had talked to Coal about moving out but to say he seemed reluctant about it was an understatement. Sans thought the short distance would be a good selling point.  _

_ Grillby said he could try to convince him after work, being the most understanding of Sans reasons to move. Mostly he felt cramped in a house made for 2 maybe 3 monsters. Sans and Papyrus had to share a room but now that Papyrus is 14, he yearned for his own. A wish Sans agreed with. Papyrus always got up early with Coal and brought Sans with him, but he would've loved to sleep in most of those days. That was mostly why he started drinking coffee too. _

_ When Sans arrived he greeted the two monsters before they showed him around. It was a nice house and everything Papyrus and him would need. It had 2 bedrooms (one of which had a treadmill the couple didn't need anymore), a large kitchen, and a living room with an ugly green couch Sans couldn't help but love. The outside was homey and was strung with Giftmas lights that were never taken down.  _

_ He sealed the deal and was given the key to his own house. He couldn’t help the big smile that came when seeing his very own house key to his very own house. The couple smiled at him and wished him well before leaving and Sans ran home and through the door at Grillby’s house excited to pack.  _

_ Grillby and Coal were standing in the living room with one look at Sans’ demeanor Coal sighed and walked up stairs and Sans knew that expression. Coal had just lost the argument. Sans tried to calm down and looked to Grillby. “Grillbz, what did he say?” Sans asked already knowing the answer he just wanted to hear it out loud. Grillby’s face fell and Sans thought he might have been wrong about the outcome before it perked back up just as fast.  _

_ “He Said Yes! Well it was more like a ‘fine’ but either way” Sans released a big sigh and punched Grillby in the arm.  _

_ “Grillbz come on i’m supposed to be a prankster not you” Grillby laughed.  _

_ “I couldn’t help it”. Just then Coal came down with an excited Papyrus and full box of something. “Brother can get my own room!” Papyrus was vibrating. Sans thought Papyrus would be reluctant to leave but he was excited just to live with his brother. If anything was going to keep him from moving it would have been Papyrus. Sans smiled, almost vibrating himself.  _

_ “Yep of course bro”  _

_ “Nyeh he he” Sans laughed at the quirk his brother had picked up from the comic books Coal had gotten them from the Junkyard. He wanted to be a hero after reading those. Something that fit perfectly with his dream of being in the guard.  _

_ “If you are going to leave I'm giving you these” he handed Sans the box.  _

_ “you’ll need them in this weather and you won’t be able to grab my spares anymore.” _

_ Sans looked in the box and pulled out a big blue jacket with gray fluff on the hood. It looked too had been white at some point but had gotten dirty due to use. The rest of the jacket was it almost perfect condition. While Sans was admiring the jacket Papyrus dug through the box and pulled out a pair of bright red gloves and scarf which he put on immediately. He made a superhero pose the the scarf flowing like a cape. He laughed his signature laugh and smiled brightly. Sans smiled at his brother, he looked...right in those. Sans slipped on the jacket and reveled in how comfy it was. It fit perfectly.  _

_ “Thanks Coal”  _

_ “THANK YOU” Coal smiled fondly and gave both of the brothers warm hugs.  _

_ “Hey Pap why don’t you go pack okay” Papyrus nodded and ran up the stairs. Grillby brought a bag out for Sans.  _

_ “I packed for you”  _

_ “That eager for me to leave already” Sans joked. _

_ “I’m gonna miss living with you”  _

_ “me too but I just-” Sans didn’t know how to explain.  _

_ “I know, I get it, but you have to visit all the time” Grillby said.  _

_ Sans chuckled “Duh I still work for your dad remember, the same place you do”.  _

_ “Actually you work for me now” Grillby said matter of factly.  _

_ “What?” Sans asked.  _

_ “Dad’s retiring so he gave me the keys” Grillby said proudly dangling a key chain in Sans face. “Really!” Grillby nodded “I just hope I can run it well” Grillby said rubbing his arm nervously. “Grillbz with you running the joint it’ll be more popular than ever” Grillby smiled and nodded. Sans wasn’t very good with goodbyes and he didn’t know what to do.  _

_ On instinct he held out his hand “Welp uh bye i guess” He said awkwardly.  _

_ Grillby rolled his eyes and pulled Sans in for a hug which he returned “Not goodbye, see you later” Grillby replied. Papyrus ran down the stairs and joined the hug. Sans waved and walked toward their new home with Papyrus happily skipping behind him.  _

* * *

At the happy memory the group seemed to calm down. Papyrus was smiling proudly repeating the same pose as in the memory Frisk laughing and joining too. Papyrus would come and move an arm up or give other staging directions to Frisk. Toriel seemed to approve of Coal's fatherly attitude towards the brothers and kept sending glances at Frisk. 

Sans walked to his friend "what's up Tori" Sans asked seeing her nervous expression. 

"It is nothing, it's just I am nervous for Frisk to move out. I know it is inevitable but the house would be so quiet without them." 

Sans chuckled "Frisk's a smart kid and she's only 14. We moved out when I was 16 only cause we were 4 monsters in a house for 2. Plus do you really think that kid-" Sans gestures to Frisk who was now on Papyrus back playing chicken with Undyne who was mounted by Alphys. 

"Is gonna be able to stray too far. At least without visiting every week" Sans chuckled fondly as the round finished. It seemed to be a tie as all four fell laughing on the white floor. Toriel smiled at Frisk. 

"You are right. Thank you my friend" Toriel turned to the next memory and Sans followed her lead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all know the deal, comment mistakes and thanks for reading!


	9. Taller Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess I'm not done with fluff yet
> 
> edit: 4/26/20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay just for reference:
> 
> Sans is 16, Papyrus is 14
> 
> This takes place shortly after the last chapter

_ As the brothers were unpacking Sans really noticed how tall Papyrus was getting. He was already as tall as him if not taller. Papyrus seemed to have noticed this as well placing stuff on the higher shelves whenever he was around Sans. This time Sans had brought some newly bought dishes to put in the cabinets when Papyrus came over.  _

_ “Let me get that for you brother” he said promptly taking the dishes and putting them up in the cabinets for him.  _

_ “Would you stop that!” Sans said.  _

_ “You’re not even that much taller than me!” A mischievous smile appeared on Papyrus’ face and Sans only just realized his mistake. Papyrus turned to his elder brother  _

_ “us tall people have to help the short ones''. Sans huffed as Papyrus laughed his now signature laugh.  _

_ “Nyeh he I am sorry brother but I couldn’t help it” Papyrus said trying to contain his amusement. Sans chuckled “its fine I deserve it, and you did warn me”. A week later all the boxes had been unpacked so to celebrate Sans and Papyrus decided to make a home cooked meal.  _

_ Spaghetti.  _

_ Papyrus had tried to recreate the fire magic Coal used to cook to no avail. Sans suggested using the stove but that resulted in Papyrus turning the heat ALL the way up to cook the sauce and nearly burning their brand new house down.  _

_ The skeletons however, knew when to admit defeat so after 5 boxes of failed noodles, 8 cans of tomato sauce, and after every pan was chared the boys went to Grillby’s house for help. Unfortunately Grillby had never used the stove either relying purely on his fire magic but they cooked together anyway using the time to catch up on current events. After a filling dinner they chatted around the dining room table.  _

_ “He’s taller than you now” Grillby said. Sans could almost hear the smirk.  _

_ “Okay that's it” Sans said standing up and slamming his hands on the table for effect. Grillby covered his giggles knowing what caused the outburst, Papyrus however was thoroughly confused.  _

_ “I am going to get some height back if it’s the last thing I do!” Sans proclaimed causing the remaining members of the table, Papyrus and Coal, to burst out laughing. When it was time to go home the boys waved goodbye not without a final remark about Sans’ height followed by a “Just you wait, next time you see me  _ **_I’ll_ ** _ be the taller brother”. _

_ When they got home Papyrus said he was going to bed so he could be in perfect shape tomorrow.  _

_ “What’s special about tomorrow bro?”  _

_ “Who Knows! That's the best part” Papyrus shut his door and Sans decided to stay up a little longer. He went to the kitchen for a bottle of ketchup, a taste he’d recently acquired after what happened at Grillby’s. He mostly continued drinking it for the comical effect but since learned he actually liked the taste. Sans looked out the kitchen window to the backyard seeing Papyrus’ newest creation.  _

_ The couple that owned the house before them must have enjoyed puzzles because as they were cleaning out the rooms various types of puzzles were scattered about. Papyrus had taken an instant liking to them and they were all quickly moved to his room. Papyrus also has been putting his control over his attacks to use by making mazes and such out of bones in the backyard. Sans also found a box of books stuffed in the corner of his room and had been slowly reading each one. He found the books about science and math more interesting, so he also took an instant liking to sci-fi books like "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”. He was currently reading a book about quantum physics that he finally was beginning to understand.  _

_ He turned to go to bed putting the ketchup back in the fridge and making a mental note to buy more tomorrow. He turned to leave before the tin cans that used to hold tomato sauce caught his eye.  _

_ *** _

_ Papyrus woke up early hoping to surprise Sans by making him breakfast. He chose spaghetti even though it wasn’t breakfast food cause he knew how to make it right...sorta. Meanwhile Sans had woken up early as well. He heard Papyrus get up and strapped his tin contraptions to his feet and wobbled down the stairs.  _

_ “Good mornin' Pap'' Sans said. Papyrus spun around a plate of spaghetti in hand, one already on the table for Sans.  _

_ “Good Morn-” Papyrus cut off seeing Sans. Sans had grown half a foot and was now taller than Papyrus again. Papyrus looked down seeing his brother struggle to stand on top of tin cans strapped to his feet.  _

_ “Brother”  _

_ “ya bro” Sans replied leaning on the table for support. He was smiling weakly and attempting to hide his struggle.  _

_ “Why do you have spaghetti sauce cans strapped to your feet”.  _

_ “Cause now” Sans stood up taller almost losing his balance.  _

_ “I’m the taller brother again” Sans finished just as he lost balance falling and pulling a plate of spaghetti off the table with him that proceeded to land on his skull. He huffed standing up tin cans left on the floor.  _

_ “It seems you have shrunk brother” Papyrus laughed.  _

_ “Shut up Papyrus'' Sans said but was laughing just as hard wiping spaghetti sauce off his head. “Okay maybe that was a bad idea” he amended, grabbing a new plate of spaghetti.  _

_ “Thanks for breakfast spaghetti'' Sans said.  _

_ “No problem brother”. Sans took a bite of the spaghetti and his face scrunched up but he forced it to remain neutral.  _

_ “How is it brother!” Papyrus asked, bouncing in his seat.  _

_ “Um it’s...indescribable” Sans said, causing Papyrus lit up taking it as a compliment. Sans forced himself to eat every bite of burnt noodle and sour sauce for Papyrus. Sans walked out the door ready to go to his shift at Grillby’s, which was appropriately renamed when said monster took over. Surprisingly Sans was lifted off the ground onto a pair of shaking shoulders. “Whoa, Paps whatcha doing?” Sans asked quietly, noting his brother's struggle.  _

_ “See -huff- now you’re the taller brother again!” Papyrus said enthusiastically as ever.  _

_ Sans laughed “Thanks bro I appreciate it but I don’t think you’re quite big enough for this yet”. Papyrus was barely taller than his older brother and realistically he wouldn’t be able to hold Sans for long. Sans realized this but he also knew Papyrus didn’t  _ **_do_ ** _ ‘realistic’.  _

_ “Nonsense brother I am perfectly-” Papyrus never got to finish his sentence before both brothers toppled down into a laughing pile of skeletons. Sans wiped a tear from his eye as he got up and extended a hand to his brother. After he got up Papyrus brushed the snow from his pants. A light bulb went off in Sans' mind. Papyrus looked over to see a mischievous smirk on his brother's face.  _

_ “ _ **_Ice_ ** _ try bro” Sans said Papyrus scooped up a bit of snow and went to throw it at Sans but he had started running towards Grillby’s. Papyrus began to chase after him but tripped and fell into the snow himself.  _

_ Sans turned around and after making sure Papyrus was okay he yelled “It’s  _ **_snow_ ** _ use Pap, you’ll never catch me!” and quickly ran to Grillby's, the sound of his brothers angry yell spurring him on. _

  
  


* * *

Undyne was laughing so hard at the mental image of Sans walking on tin cans. 

“I can’t believe you did that!” she gasped out between laughs. Sans was thoroughly embarrassed hiding his face with his hood. 

“It was quite amusing up until the puns” Papyrus added laughing along with Undyne. Frisk said something about Papyrus being sweet but seemed to be holding their laughter in for Sans’ sake along with Alphys. 

Head still hidden he turned to them “just let it out those two are already having a fit”. As if they were waiting for permission both of them burst out laughing even Toriel, who had been doing well, lost it. She came over and placed a paw on the skeleton's shoulder. 

“My friend there is no need to be embarrassed we all have done something like that”. 

Frisk bounded over “yeah like the time I flirted with Mom, and modsmall, and Papyrus, and-” Sans pulled his hood down and chuckled as Frisk continued to list all the monsters she had flirted with in the underground. 


	10. Assistant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans gets his dream job and meets some fellow science lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a long chapter!
> 
> edit:4/26/20

_ Sans was now 17 and had been working at the restaurant for a long time. He found an opening at a science lab in Hotland but it was pretty much full time. He had taken a liking for the subject and the position was as an assistant to the royal scientist. It was his dream come true.  _

_ The only issue would be that he couldn't work at Grillby"s anymore. Sans didn't know how he could leave a job run by his best friend. Deep down, Sans knew that it wouldn’t affect their friendship but still it would be incredibly awkward to quit. Sans grimaced imagining the encounter.  _

_ He wished he had more time to prepare but the deadline for applications was today and he had already been postponing the inevitable encounter until now. So here he was, standing in front of Grillby's. Hand raised in front of the door in the same position it had been for the last 5 minutes preparing to knock. He was clutching the filled application for the lab. Sans was finally going to knock when the door swung open revealing a very amused Grillby.  _

_ "I was gonna wait for you to knock but it seems like we'll both be retired before that happens" He said. Sans cheeks began to glow a light blue as he shoved his hands in the pocket of his blue jacket along with the application.  _

_ "Uh yeah sorry um" Sans stumbled embarrassed at being caught standing by the door.  _

_ Grillby laughed "are you going to come in?" Grillby added amused. Sans face glowed even brighter and walked in the familiar room.  _

_ "So I assume this isn't just a visit" Grillby prompted.  _

_ "Uh yeah, I mean no" Sans rubbed the back of his skull and Grillby was chuckling at his friend's attitude.  _

_ "Okay, here we go. So I-" Sans began but was quickly cut off by Grillby holding up his hand. "You’re quitting" Grillby said plainly.  _

_ "It's not like I don't-" Grillby cut him off again.  _

_ "You don't have to explain Sans." Grillby laughed.  _

_ "So do you have another job in mind?" Sans lit up and began talking about the assistantship and soon enough the two were no longer talking as employee and employer, but as friends. “The Doctor is supposed to be really smart!” Sans said in wonder.  _

_ “And guess what field he focuses on” Sans paused for Grillby who merely shrugged a faint smile on his face.  _

_ “Theoretical Physics! Well specifically quantum mechanics” Grillby chuckled.  _

_ “What?” Sans asked.  _

_ “You sound like Papyrus” Grillby said laughing.  _

_ Sans faked annoyance “and is that such a bad thing” Sans said trying to keep a straight face. In truth it was hard to lecture his friend.  _

_ “No, Papyrus is very cool” Grillby said.  _

_ “The coolest” Sans agreed.  _

_ “I expect you to be a regular” Grillby stated as Sans was getting up to leave.  _

_ “I will” Sans said surely with a smile.  _

_ “Promise?” Grillby smirked.  _

_ Sans rolled his eyes “Ya I promise Grillbz” Grillby smiled knowing Sans never breaks promises.  _ " _ Well good luck then Sans" Grillby said as Sans left.  _

_ "Yeah thanks Grillbz" and Sans began his trek to Hotland.  _

_ 15 minutes later Sans was staring at a large metal door. He glanced at the sign above the door that read 'Lab' in big red letters. Trying to avoid another repeat of what happened at Grillby's, Sans took a deep breath and released his self doubts.  _

_ And he knocked.  _

_ The sound vibrated through the door and echoed in his head. He heard the whoosh of the door sliding open and Sans gathered his confidence.  _

_ "Hello, what can I do for you" a deep voice asked.  _

_ Sans smiled "hey my name is Sans, Sans the skeleton" he started, earning a chuckle from the man and Sans’ confidence grew.  _

_ His smile grew more genuine as well and he continued.  _

_ " _ **_Tibia_ ** _ honest I'm here because of the assistantship" Sans completed holding out his completed form trying to hold in his own laugh.  _

_ “A little close to  _ **_deadline_ ** _ are we” The man stated. It only took Sans a second to register the pun. Sans laughed and his nervousness washed away.  _

* * *

"Is that why you always insist on going to Grillby's" Sans laughed

“yep I made a promise bro. And it’s really good too." Frisk laughed too. 

"You were so nervous" Frisk commented. 

"Well yeah, he's my best friend and anyone else could have been offended" Sans explained "had no reason to be nervous with Grillby though, he's a great friend and on a completely unrelated note: he can read me like a book" Sans chuckled. Alphys looked at Sans astonished. "Do I have something on my face Alph?" Sans laughed. 

"N-No it's just. Y-you were nervous." Sans raised a bone brow. 

"And…" Sans prompted 

"well i-it's just I turned in my f-form right before y-you and I h-heard you talking and y-you sounded so c-confident. I didn't think I had a chance." Alphys finished sheepishly. Sans laughed "Alph if he had to choose between us he would have picked you for sure. I was just a kid who read some books at that point. You already had inventions out there." Sans left no room for argument and they turned to the screen.

* * *

_ Sans soon learned he had been accepted along with another monster named Alphys who was a little older than him. The day he got the letter he and Papyrus celebrated by getting a meal at Grillby's. Grillby gave Sans a complimentary bottle of ketchup and Sans drank it much to the displeasure of Papyrus.  _

_ "When did you even start drinking that...stuff?" Papyrus said, disgusted. He glared at the bottle like it had personally offended him.  _

_ "I'm afraid that's my fault Papyrus. I didn't warn him in time" Grillby said, acting guilty. In truth Grillby had been grossed out but has come to accept the weird taste in drinks as just another quirk his friend has.  _

_ "Yeah but that was a while ago Papyrus you better  _ **_ketchup_ ** _ " Sans took another satisfied sip of ketchup as Papyrus groaned and dropped his skull against the counter top. The brothers left after saying goodbye and Sans went to bed early since he started working tomorrow.  _

_ He was so excited and his mind wouldn't stop working. By morning Sans had thought through every scenario that could happen on his first day at the lab. Sans grabbed a handful of ice to take and stuck it in his pocket to use later in case things didn’t go well. He really wanted to get off on the right foot with the new monster. Papyrus got up to make him lunch, they ate breakfast and Sans began to walk to Hotland.  _

_ "Ugh if I'm gonna keep working here I gotta find some kind of shortcut!". Sans groaned and took his off jacket to tie around his waist but immediately put it back on. Sans felt weird without it on. Having worn it for so long it felt like a part of him and decided to just keep it and deal with the heat. Sans knocked at the door, the clank echoing around him. The Man opened the door.  _

_ “You have quite the unique knock Sans” He said.  _

_ “Bone against metal” Sans said simply wiggling his phalanges.  _

_ “Ah I see. Come in” The man said gesturing inside. Sans walked in and was in awe. The lab was completely organized. Every tool had a place and every machine had a piece of paper with what looked like instructions taped to it.  _

_ “I must confess the lab does not often look this nice. I cleaned up to show you too around” He admitted quietly chuckling. Sans looked around for the other monster and saw a yellow lizard in the corner. They seemed to be trying to make themselves as small as possible. Sans debated walking over and saying hi, but his decision was made for him.  _

_ “Alphys come over and say hi to your partner” The Doctor said. Alphys came over to Sans looking at her feet. She seemed super nervous but Sans intended to fix that.  _

_ “Heya, I'm Sans'' he said holding-out his hand. He turned it slightly to conceal a small pink object in his palm.  _

_ “A-Alphys, b-but you a-already knew that i-i guess” Sans rubbed the back of his skull but unknowingly used the wrong hand. The cushion went off and the first laugh came for the doctor himself. Sans’ face turned blue and he quickly took his hand off his head and looked at the traitorous whoopie cushion.  _

_ “W-Was that-”  _

_ “a whoopie cushion” Sans said resigned. Alphys started laughing quietly though.  _

_ “N-Nice one” She said looking him in the eye sockets for the first time since they had met.  _

_ “I try” Sans said smiling and he went to stick the cushion in his jacket pocket. Sans felt water in his pocket and looked to see the corner was entirely a darker shade of blue.  _

_ “Aww dang it” Sans groaned  _

_ “w-what’s wrong?” Alphys seemed concerned. Sans turned out his pocket over a sink. Water dripped for the pocket as he wrung it out. The entire corner was soaked.  _

_ “I uh had an  _ **_ice_ ** _ -breaker idea, but it kinda melted in my pocket” Sans said laughing at his own stupidity. This morning he had been in such a rush he had just the cubes in his pocket, of course they would melt in Hotland.  _

_ Alphys laughed “Here, I-I’ll hang it up outside. I-If there’s anything H-Hotland’s good for its drying out wet c-clothes” Alphys joked. Sans reluctantly handed over his jacket to Alphys. He immediately felt naked without the added weight on his shoulders.  _

_ “That was quite the show Sans'' The doctor came over.  _

_ “Thanks Doctor” Sans said laughing, it didn’t go exactly as he planned but it was successful anyway. Alphys seemed to be at least a little more comfortable around him. Jokes always seemed to loosen himself up too.  _

_ “Call me Gaster'' He said.  _

_ “If we are going to be working together there is no need for such formalities” Gaster finished. Sans smiled and nodded “Couldn’t agree more” Sans said.  _

_ “Well-” Gaster shrugged on a lab coat “I’ll let you and Alphys get more acquainted with each other. When you’re done head down the elevator and I’ll begin a tour of some sort.” He walked into the elevator and the door shut behind him leaving Sans by himself in the lab. The whole room seemed to echo when nobody was in it. Sans knew Alphys was outside so walked through the metal doors. They swung open when Sans got near them. Alphys was out front checking to see if the pocket of his jacket was dry.  _

_ “Hey Alphys is my jacket dry” he asked nervously. Logically Sans knew it wouldn’t be but he never knew how much he was used to the jacket until he stopped wearing it.  _

_ “Almost” Alphys said turning towards Sans  _

_ “Sorry” she added when she saw how Sans glanced at the blue fabric hanging on the wall.  _

_ “It’s fine, oh and the doc said when we’re ready to head down the elevator.” Alphys nodded. “He’s n-not what I-I expected” Alphys said laughing.  _

_ “no kidding! I kinda figured it would be a ‘all work no fun’ kinda thing” Sans said laughing. _

_ “I-I’m glad It’s n-not” she sat down and leaned against the wall of the lab. Sans checked the jacket and felt that it was pretty much dry before shrugging and putting it back on. He almost sighed in relief at the comfort it gave him.  _

_ “Aren’t y-you hot” Alphys asked absentmindedly.  _

_ “Not really, too bad those ice cubes couldn’t take the  _ **_heat_ ** _.” He used the pun to conceal his lie. He was boiling but he didn’t want to take the jacket off again. Sans sunk down next to Alphys. “I-I Can’t believe you didn’t r-realize they would melt'' Alphys laughed.  _

_ “Hey it was a busy morning and back in Snowdin they were fine” Sans faked offense but laughed ruining the act.  _

_ “Y-You came all t-the way from S-Snowdin!” Alphys jumped in surprised.  _

_ “Yep, it’s quite the walk”.  _

_ “Y-you Walked!” Alphys jumped up and pulled Sans into the lab.  _

_ “Did you drink anything in waterfall!” Alphys stuttering stopped abruptly. She was in full doctor mode.  _

_ “Well no but-” Alphys cut him off by shoving a cup of water in his hands from the cooler in the corner of the lab.  _

_ “Dehydration is no laughing matter, you could heat stroke especially since you insist on wearing that jacket” Alphys rambled on about side effects.  _

_ Sans laughed “well there’s really nowhere to get water in Hotland before I get here.” Sans said, drinking from his cup.  _

_ Alphys froze “w-well i guess not, b-but still” Alphys refused to give up her point.  _

_ “I’ll drink a bunch of water before I head out tomorrow okay?” Sans compromised.  _

_ “Okay. W-We should go d-down stairs for the tour” Alphys relented. He nodded and they both rode the elevator to begin the tour.  _

_ Gaster explained how the equipment upstairs was for his smaller projects. Alphys and Sans were both given permission to use the equipment as they wish. Downstairs however is where his main project lied.  _

_ “As of now, monsters have no clue how the barrier was made. We can’t destroy it if we don't even know what it is. No monster saw the barrier being made so it seems like a lost cause. And the minimal information we have about it now is not enough to create a solid hypothesis.” Gaster explained pausing to make sure the two assistants were following. They nodded so he continued.  _

_ “If we could go back in time and watch the barrier be created we could know exactly what it is and have a foundation for our research” He concluded.  _

_ “If we go back in time, why not stop the war entirely though?” Sans asked.  _

_ “Good question, but we don’t know the repercussions of such a drastic change or even if it would be possible. If we were to try and stop the war one day it might happen again.” Sans nodded, satisfied at the explanation. After the tour Sans began his walk home.  _

_ The next day Sans drank a bottle of water before heading off. He wanted to keep his promise to Alphys. He took the river boat to the entrance of Hotland and mentally kicked himself for forgetting about that option the previous day. As he was walking the rest of the way he noticed a water cooler sitting out of place. He laughed noticing it was the same cooler that used to be inside the lab.  _

_ He grabbed a cup and walked the little he had left. As he walked through the door he greeted Alphys and held up the cup for her to see.  _

_ “Thanks Alph” He said laughing.  _


	11. Confidence and Under Powered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: 4/26/20

_ Sans, Alphys, and Gaster became quite the trio when it came to their work. They had been working together for a little over a year.  _

_ Sans was now 18.  _

_ As time went by Gaster explained more of the details of the project. Sans quickly realized that the three of them were all very different. Gaster was calculated and when he was fully immersed in his work he detached himself from everything. It was normally Alphys or Sans who would bring him out of it in case he got out of hand. He was a jack of trades, a trait Sans admired, meaning he excelled in all fields of science.  _

_ Alphys was nervous around new people, she had a fear of messing up. Sans figured this out after she panicked when she broke a vial. A different side showed however as time went on. Sans learned she loved his jokes, she could be sarcastic if she wanted to, and she was always ready to learn more. Alphys was also incredibly smart but seemed to gravitate towards soul studies.  _

_ Sans had taken it upon himself to be the comic relief, he made sure everyone ate and took breaks. He dug for his part in the ‘team’ they had basically created but it was hard to find a specialty he excelled at. One day Sans had expressed his concerns to Gaster.  _

_ “Listen Doc, I don’t think I’m a good fit for all this. I mean I love working here, but I don’t really bring anything new to the table ya’ know.” Sans acted like it didn’t bother him. Gaster saw through his mask almost immediately and his expression softened. It took all his will power not to cringe. Sans realized the only people who could see through his smugness every time were Grillby, Papyrus, and now apparently Gaster. He normally wasn’t nervous around Gaster, in fact he felt at home in the lab. He was going to miss coming here, but it didn’t feel right pretending like he fit.  _

_ Gaster looked at Sans blankly and shook his head “Do you really think you don’t contribute here?” Gaster looked concerned and shocked. Sans didn’t expect that look to come from him. Suddenly less confident in his view Sans shrugged and glanced away. Gaster pulled down a hand that Sans didn’t realize had begun rubbing the back of his skull and forced him to look directly at his eyes.  _

_ “Sans the amount of times you’ve pulled me out of that lab when I needed it, when if I had stayed something surely would have been broken and we would be behind another week” He trailed off chuckling slightly but quickly got back on track.  _

_ “You’ve kept all of us from exploding at each other so many times it's a wonder you haven’t exploded yourself. And I’m beginning to question how I got along on my own.” Sans interrupted him  _

_ “but that’s not enough, any monster could do that” Sans didn’t understand why Gaster couldn’t see it.  _

_ “Sans-” he sighed “you remind me of myself” Gaster said looking distant. Sans didn’t understand where he was going with this but stayed quiet.  _

_ “You look at the world like a pile of questions to be solved, I see that same spark I had when you're working on the machine, you belong here, I could tell the second you looked at the lab down stairs.” Gaster stated, Sans looked away. _

_ He sighed “You’re brilliant but you refuse to acknowledge your own talents, but I would not hesitate to say that you have built half the machine already” Gaster wouldn’t budge on his point. He proceeded to remind Sans of every piece of input he had on the blueprints. How in their brainstorming sessions Sans thought about the machine in a way Gaster never looked at. Alphys focused on the determination aspect of the project rather than the mechanical part so Sans brought an alternative outlook that Gaster valued. Sans sighed, these were facts and he can’t argue with that. Then something clicked for him, this was his dream job.  _

_ This was his dream job and he had spent the last 20 minutes or so trying to get himself fired. Sans laughed “God I am such an idiot” he held his skull in his hands as he laughed.  _

_ Gaster’s strict face melted and he chuckled too “You are, but I suppose that is another trait we share. We are both brilliant idiots” Gaster smiled softly.  _

_ “Now then I think it’s time we get back to work right Sans?” Gaster added. Sans knew what he was getting at. Gaster wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything else Sans wanted to bring up before leaving. He was waiting for Sans to make his choice.  _

_ Sans smiled at his mentor's attentiveness “Yep I can’t be a lazy bones for forever” He smiled genuinely and walked ahead. Gaster's tense posture relaxed. He obviously felt more at home in the realm of science rather than emotions.  _

_ That was three days ago. Today they were closer than ever to finishing the time machine. All three of them were behind glass flipping switches and turning dials to the correct settings.  _

_ “Okay doc all set” Sans said. Alphys hand was hovering over the power switch. She seemed as antsy as Sans was to begin the test. It was a simple stage one test. They would merely try and open a rift and close it. Simple. Not like this simple task had been giving them grief 24/7.  _

_ Gaster smiled brightly “begin the test Alphys” he was practically beaming. His enthusiasm was contagious and soon all three of them were smiling. Sans got this feeling that maybe this time it would work.  _

_ “O-Okay” Alphys flipped the switch and the machine whirled to life, electricity crackling around the edges. Power began feeding through the tubes. The lights in the lab flickered and went out. They need so much power to get it running they were using power from anything nonessential in the lab, that included lights. Sans passed out flashlights using his magic, not once looking away from the machine. It had to work this time, they had no other options. All too soon the power ran out. The metal rattled and Sans recognized the sound of the machine sputtering and dying he sagged and sat down against the wall, Alphys slumped in her chair. Sans pinched the ridge between his eye sockets.  _

_ “ _ **_Still_ ** _ not enough” he sighed. They were out of power, they used up every last drop they could in the lab.  _

_ A bang brought Sans out of his thoughts. He looked up at the Doctor. His head was down but his fist had left a sizable dent in the metal walls of the safety room.  _

_ His eyes glowed purple “DAMMIT” he yelled and his hand began to glow the same shade of violet. Suddenly Sans didn’t feel so safe in the  _ **_Safety_ ** _ room. Alphys must have felt it too and she quickly made her escape.  _

_ “I-I should w-work on g-getting the lights b-back on” She stuttered and practically ran out of the room. He didn’t blame her, a mad Gaster was one thing. A mad Gaster and a Sans who really didn’t want to deal with this was a complete other universe. Sans decided to lose himself in his thoughts about possible fixes mumbling to himself with his eyes closed. He had always been able to think better this way.  _

_ “SANS'' Sans jumped and looked up. Sans had chosen not to tell anyone here about his one HP so they wouldn’t baby him but he was beginning to regret that decision since Gaster looked like he was about to hit him and definitely with intent enough to knock down his lone point.  _

_ “This is not the time to SLEEP Sans! We have to get working again” Sans bristled, Gaster knew full well he wasn’t sleeping. Sans had always thought clearer with his eyes closed, he figured it had something to do with blocking out the extra info. He would always picture the machine clearly in his head dissecting it. However Sans knew that Gaster was mad and lashing-out at whatever was there and Sans was directly next to him. Sans tried to calm down knowing this. ‘You don’t fight anger with anger’ he repeated in his head.  _

_ Sans looked at the clock. It read 2am and Sans sighed, got up and naturally slipped his hands in his pockets.  _

_ “Doc, I think if we all get a good night's sleep we can all come back with fresh heads. Or in my case a fresh skull.” Sans gauged his reaction when there wasn’t one Sans realized just how frustrated the Doctor was.  _

_ “I see my joke didn’t tickle your  _ **_funny bone_ ** _ ” Still no reaction, meant he was bad, like code red angry. For once his puns made The Doctor angrier.  _

_ “You SERIOUSLY think this is a time for joking” His voice raised. Sans narrowed his eye sockets.  _

_ “No but it's late and we're obviously not gonna get anymore work down tonight” Sans said bluntly. His patience was running thin.  _

_ “We’re SO close Sans I’m not gonna stop just like that!” He quieted down some but Gaster was focusing on the machine now. The lights flickered on and he noticed Alphys in the background, she was sitting in the door frame not knowing what to do. Sans covertly flashed her a thumbs up. Gaster was blowing-up at the machine which was a thousand times better than yelling at him.  _

_ He mouthed a quick “going home” to Alphys and she nodded and mouthed “good luck” back at him. He hid a small smile and flinched at another loud bang.  _

_ “Come on Doc you can decorate the wall in the morning” Sans tried once more to lighten the mood.  _

_ “Sans if you’re so ready to abandon the project then just go home” Gaster growled lowly. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.  _

_ “You Think That's What This Is All About!” Sans’ voice rose in volume.  _

_ “I’m JUST As Frustrated as You are! Or did you FORGET that you’re not the only one to put over a year into this DAMN thing! I’m Just asking for you to See Some REASON so you don’t run Yourself to the Ground and Drag ALL Our Work with you!” Sans stopped himself before he said anything he would regret. Gaster was wide-eyed staring at Sans. He doesn’t yell often anymore and this was the first time Sans had yelled in front of Gaster.  _

_ “Doc...think of this logically, we’re tired, frustrated, and burnt-out. We can’t get anything done like this and if we try to push without taking a break tomorrow is gonna be just as counter productive” Sans’ voice was normal, almost pleading for his mentor to give in.  _

_ Gaster sobered up and Sans mentally sighed.  _

_ “Yes I suppose you’re right, you head home I am fully capable of walking myself up to my room” Sans nodded and walked out the door. He slouched once he was fully out of view and let out a long sigh. He took the river boat back to Snowdin. Sans checked on Papyrus in his room poking his head through the door. He smiled at his snoring brother, some of his residual frustration melting off at the sight. He made his way back to his room and didn’t even get a chance to pull the covers-up before falling asleep. _

__

_ Sans woke up to a very loud knock on the door. It sounded like someone was trying to knock it down completely. He groggily pulled himself out of bed and resigned to stare at the wall for a minute or so. He grabbed his watch off the table and barely processed that it was 7 o’clock and he needed to be at the lab in a little over an hour. At said realization he was quickly awake and scrambling on a pair of sweatpants, a plain shirt, and his favorite jacket. He stumbled down the stairs and was greeted by his brother talking animatedly to a tall blue fish. He looked over and discovered that in fact the door was knocked down. It was weakly tapped up by duct tape crookedly. He shook his head and made a B-line directly at the coffee maker.  _

_ “BROTHER!” Papyrus said loudly.  _

_ “How was work, did you break through anything this time!” Sans chuckled at his brother. Sans and the others had made some major progress one day and he had come home beaming. He tried explaining everything to Papyrus saying that “they had a breakthrough”. Sans has yet to correct him on their miscommunication.  _

_ “Not this time Pap '' he sighed but decided it is time he met the stranger in their house.  _

_ “And who might you be '' Sans said already not liking that they were the same height as Papyrus and therefore he might as well be sitting with the height difference. Not to mention he had a sneaking suspicion they were the one who broke the door.  _

_ “Undyne captain of the royal guard! And you must be Sans, you are not at all what I expected you to be '' Sans raised a bonebrow.  _

_ “Thought Gerson was captain” Sans said only being slightly overprotective.  _

_ “Brother! How did you miss the news!” Papyrus honestly looked surprised and Sans felt less like he caught someone in a lie.  _

_ “Ya the old geezer retired handed the position off to me!” They, Undyne he supposed, let out a loud triumphant cry. Sans ‘hmmed’ and noted to to start paying attention to current events.  _

_ Sans sees Papyrus give a look that definitely translates to ‘play nice’ and Sans decides his interrogation can wait. The two loudly conversed about a variety of subjects, Sans noticed how alike the two were the more they talked. Papyrus was totally caught up in a conversation about battle strategies that it almost seemed like he forgot Sans was in the room. Sans took advantage of this however to zone out thinking about their power problem. He started listing through the solutions they already tried in his head.  _

_ “Brother you’ve been quiet this morning, is there something wrong?” Sans jumped from hearing his name.  _

_ “Sorry bro, just thinking” He said lamely and Papyrus nodded. The conversation stunted and Sans felt responsible so he joined in momentarily.  _

_ “So, Undyne, how’d you meet my brother?” Papyrus’ face lit-up as did Undyne’s and he knew he asked the right question.  _

_ “Found the dork peeking through the bushes by the sentry station after I called off training” Undyne smiles widely and hits Papyrus in the shoulder. Sans nods only partially paying attention from here on out. He knows at this point that while Undyne is a tad...aggressive...she honestly means no harm. He leans on the corner and his mind starts to drift to their power issue again.  _

_ “Hey Papyrus your nerdy brother is sorta spacing out a bit...again” Undyne adds awkwardly  _

_ “I see that” Papyrus sighed  _

_ “Sans!” no response, Papyrus walks closer to his brother.  _

_ “SANS” Papyrus looked satisfied as Sans jumped and quickly looked at his watch.  _

_ “Shoot I’m gonna be late” he said groaning.  _

_ “And I still have no clue what to do about the power issue” Sans threw his hands up. Papyrus had heard bits and pieces about what he was doing in rants and his monologueing. He had pieced together that whatever machine thing needed power they didn’t have. To be honest most of the science lingo he used went over Papyrus’ head.  _

_ “I’m you can get power somewhere underground” Papyrus tried to comfort but not fully knowing what the issue is makes it more of a challenge. Something must have worked because Sans sockets lit up and Sans yelled a quick “That's It!” before dashing out the door. Papyrus turned back to Undyne opening his mouth to start another conversation before Sans burst through the door again, stopping just in front of Undyne.  _

_ “Just so you know if you hurt my brother” Sans let his sockets go black and continued.  _

_ “ _ **_Your not gonna like what happens next_ ** _ ” Sans lets it sink in before he winks  _

_ “but I  _ **_betta_ ** _ get going I’m already late” Sans leaves a gaping fish behind and runs to the river person excited to get to Hotland and share his idea. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:
> 
> Undyne’s mouth was hanging open and she didn’t know what to say. Papyrus played the whole thing off like it never happened. But to be honest all of THAT was a complete 180 from the skeleton she had been introduced to. Then the pun sunk in.  
> “Was that a threat or was he just messing with me” Undyne said too confused to be annoyed at the pun. “Both” Papyrus said simply.  
> “Would you like some Spaghetti?” he asked cheerful as ever.
> 
> I like the idea that Papyrus is just so used to Sans’ overprotective attitude that it’s just normal to him (he’s not a fan of it but knows it’s gonna happen), but that doesn’t mean it’s not confusing as hell when someone you just met threatens you and jokes with you 5 seconds later :).


	12. The Core Changes in Life - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things come to end...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eventually...
> 
> When I stop writing fluff for long enough to finish the angst :)
> 
> In other words the chapter got too long so I split it up
> 
> ALSO Early Update!! Cause I'll be camping all weekend I posted today
> 
> edit: 4/26/20

Undyne was laughing. “ I-I remember that'' Undyne said between laughs. 

“I was confused about it all night and THIS NERD'' Undyne headlocked Papyrus who squirmed but gave up after Undyne began to noogie him. 

“Didn’t Help at all!” She finished laughing loudly, dropping Papyrus as he mumbled something about ‘can’t noogie a skeleton’. 

“I do wish you would stop threatening my friends though Sans'' Papyrus grumbled looking away from Sans. In truth he was hiding the loving smile brought on by his older brother. Sans knew it too. 

“but Pap it’s my duty as a sworn member of the big brother society to threaten anyone who gets near you” Sans said it seriously and held up two fingers. Just like the ritual Frisk had taught him when they first arrived on the surface. It took about five seconds for Frisk to start laughing followed by Sans. The others except Papyrus (who groaned in mild annoyance with a soft smile on his face) chuckled. 

The next scene hadn’t started yet so Sans sat on the floor watching the Papyrus, Undyne, and Frisk all play with their endless amounts of energy. He sighed and looked-up at the screen with distaste. Sans had a hunch as to what was coming next. It was a memory he had wanted to forget about a person he sincerely wanted to remember. He had stopped talking about his days with Doctor Gaster, simply saying they were days long past. However, he had almost forgotten just how close the three were. Over time they were partners, friends even, they even watched anime together on days off before the project got too crazy. He felt more than saw Alphys sit next to him. 

“I-I think I k-know what’s coming n-next” Alphys said resigned. 

“Me too” Sans said simply. 

“Are you okay?” Alphys added placing a hand on Sans' shoulder. Life returned to the screen and Sans looked to it ignoring the question. Quietly he mourned the loss of his life line as the hand slipped off.

* * *

_ Sans thanked the river person and quickly went to the lab. He didn’t bother with his daily water glass. He was too excited to share his idea; he didn’t want to stop until he got there.  _

* * *

“I’ve never seen Sans move so fast” Papyrus said amazed as younger Sans ran. 

“Why Can’t You Move That Fast Normally!!” Papyrus yelled at Sans who half-heartedly chuckled. Both were quickly shushed by a small human and told to pay attention. 

* * *

_ Sans skidded to a stop when he saw Alphys pounding on the door.  _

_ “Uh Alph… why are you poundin’ on the door, they’re automatic” Sans questioned. Alphys stopped and slid to the ground, her back against the wall.  _

_ “T-They’re only automatic if t-the powers working” She said simply the meaning behind the sentence clear. The only thing that drew power from the upper level of the lab was the machine. Sans sighed and slumped next to her leaning against the metal doors.  _

_ “So whatcha think...up all night or early start?”  _

_ Alphys rolled her eyes, “Do I really h-have to answer that” She said sarcastically. Sans’ laugh sounded hollow even to him. She was right Sans knew the answer, he had one job. He should have walked the Doctor up himself.  _

_ “It’s n-not your j-job to take care of h-him Sans” Alphys said softly knowing that Sans’ was blaming himself. Sans mentally added another person on the list of monsters he couldn’t fool. The two waited in silence until the power came back. Alphys stood-up and brushed off the red dirt. Sans was still leaning against the door stuck in his own head. The door opened unexpectedly and Sans fell onto his back looking up at the ceiling. Alphys laughed and helped him up.  _

_ “guess I still don’t have a  _ **_handle_ ** _ on these doors yet” Sans laughed.  _

_ “t-that was bad e-even for y-you” Alphys smiled.  _

_ “Really I thought it was a- _ **_door_ ** _ -able” Sans grinned. They both froze when a tired sounding laugh came from behind them. Alphys stopped laughed and marched past Sans. Alphys was full doctor mode, really mother mode at this point. She had a scolding face on and looked like she was ready to give the lecture of her life. At this point Sans was willing to join in.  _

_ “Are you insane!” Alphys actually yelled. This would be amusing if it wasn’t such a bad situation. Alphys never yelled, even in doctor mode, but Sans supposed that wasn’t true anymore.  _

_ “Have you been working all night?” Alphys asked knowing the true answer. The Doctor was quiet and turned to Sans hoping to find some assistance but Sans sighed stepping forward. “Why would you risk doing the tests alone, what if something went wrong and no one was here to help.” Sans continued for Alphys.  _

_ “We’re your Assistants, Your Partners Doctor” Alphys picked up. They were totally double teaming him but neither cared. If this is what it took to get it through Gasters skull then this is what they’ll do.  _

_ “We’re playing with dangerous stuff here, it’s why you always have at Least one person with you and you Don’t. Work. Sleep Deprived. One mistake and the whole machine could meltdown” Gaster was wide eyed by the time the two were finished.  _

_ “I had to make Some progress, we still can’t power it!” Gaster sent back throwing his hands up in frustration.  _

_ “It’s n-not worth the r-risk of working alone” Alphys countered.  _

_ “Fine, you’re right” Gaster grumbled, Sans raised a bone-brow. That was far too easy he thought. Alphys simply sighed in relief and Sans mentaly shrugged thinking he was over analyzing again. Sans decided now was a better time than any to talk about his new idea.  _

_ “Listen now that that’s over, I got an idea about the power” Both heads snapped towards him. “It’s risky but I think it just might be crazy enough to work'' Sans continued.  _

_ “Well…” Gaster spit out impatiently. Sans saw that both monsters were looking at him impatiently. Sans smirked and decidedly ignored the Doctors comment.  _

_ “We would of course have to rework a lot of the conduits and change the outlet shapes'' Alphys almost glared at Sans.  _

_ “Sans!” Gaster yelled but was smirking slightly too.  _

_ “Okay, Okay” Sans relented, holding his hands in front of him to placate the two doctors.  _

_ Sans took a breath “What about The Core…” He left the statement open ended. When he saw no one responded Sans quickly began to ramble.  _

_ “I mean, I know it’s a stretch, but the thing powers the whole underground. And the lead designer is in the room with us! The worst possible outcome would be a short circuit but-”  _

_ ''How did I not think of that?'' A formal voice interrupted his word vomit.  _

_ “S-Sans that's brilliant! We would h-have to find a safe and e-efficent way to transport i-it” The three talked animatedly about the tweaks they would make Gaster chimed in often about the basics behind the core and the ways to integrate it. Sans felt his excitement returning. The three worked on blueprints mostly, rather than messing with the actual machine. Mostly so it would be a smoother work day tomorrow but also due to Gasters sluggish movements. Sans and Alphys both knew he needed a good rest so they elected to cut off a little earlier so he could get some rest.  _

_ “See ya Alph!” Sans yelled as Alphys hung up her coat and walked out the door. She waved back indicating he was heard.  _

_ “Goodbye Sans” The Doctor said dismissing him. He was hunched over the blueprint still.  _

_ “Oh no, not this time” Sans said and he walked The Doctor to the upper level himself.  _

_ “Don’t let us find you doing that again or I’ll start locking the lab when I leave” Sans’ tone suggested he was joking but Gaster had no doubt that it could happen.  _

_ Sans took the river boat home. The river person took a little longer to get to Snowdin. It gave Sans time to take in the view of waterfall. He ran his fingers through the luminescent water and leaned back hands behind his head. He felt the temperature change and prepared to get off the boat. Sans was grinning widely still. He was ecstatic his idea was being used. His excitement drowned out his worry for the doctor. Sans thought it was a one time deal, that tomorrow he would be well rested and they would work together like they used to. Sans was supposed to think about the battery in the machine and the connections. He brought some blueprints back with him. _

_ Sans dramatically pushed open the door to their house and yelled for his brother. Unsurprising Papyrus’ head poked out for the kitchen.  _

_ “Sans! You’re home! Early! In the living room!” Papyrus yelled punctuating each word. Sans heard a crash in the kitchen.  _

_ Sans raised a brow “So, whatcha making in there” Sans walked up to his brother and tried to walk into the kitchen.  _

_ “Spaghetti!” Papyrus proclaimed loudly stepping in front of the kitchen door blocking Sans view. A few more loud crashes sounded. Sans could almost see the sweat rolling down Papyrus’ skull. Needless to say Sans was extremely suspicious.  _

_ “Papyrus what's going on?” Papyrus flinched at the use of his full name.  _

_ “Ah well you see The Great Papyrus decided to make you some wonderful spaghetti.” Papyrus still effectively was blocking the door.  _

_ “That's it?” Sans questioned knowing for sure that what was said wasn’t the full truth.  _

_ “Well I also decided to invite a friend” Sans sighed knowing it was going to take forever to get the truth this way.  _

_ “Okay well I’m going to go into the kitchen then” Sans tried to duck under one of Papyrus’ outstretched arms.  _

_ “YOU CAN’T” Papyrus yelled, dropping his arm to stop the shorter skeleton. “Um I mean it will ruin the surprise” He amended in a normal volume (for Papyrus). Sans face palmed, Papyrus was good at many things. Secret keeping, and lying, however were not one of his talents.  _

_ “Okay well then I guess I’ll just sit on the couch like a lazy bones” Sans said and started to turn around. Papyrus sighed and dropped his arm, but at that moment Sans turned on a dime and ran past his brother into the kitchen. Well, what used to be the kitchen. The walls were covered with burn marks, black pots and pans littered the floor. A small fire was even still going on the stove. Sans turned to get a towel when a blue fish burst through the back door with a fire extinguisher and dosed the whole room including Sans. Sans wiped the foam off his jacket with distaste.  _

_ “Papyrus” Sans said in a level voice pinching the bridge between his eye sockets. Papyrus hesitantly walked in the room. After seeing the foam everywhere he pointedly shot Undyne a glare who just shrugged in return.  _

_ “Well um I’m gonna return this to Alphys!” Undyne ran out of the house.  _

_ “Alphys huh” Sans thought out loud.  _

_ Sans turned to Papyrus “Okay here’s the deal, I am going down to the basement to work. You are going to clean this up” Sans said sternly. Papyrus nodded and Sans turned around but not before calling back.  _

_ “And from now on all cooking with Undyne will be done at her house”. _


	13. Core Changes in Life - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I'm sorry Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early Chapter Release cause I'm not gonna be available this weekend. Also we are SO close to being done with section 2 and it's killing me!! Also can I just say : 68 KUDOS AND 630 HITS OMG!!!
> 
> Not sure if I got the emotions out the way I wanted to but enjoy the second part of Core Changes.
> 
> edit: 4/26/20

_ Sans walked down the stairs into the dusty room. The brothers had no need for the room when they first moved to the house so they left it alone where it collected dust. Sans shoved the bronze key into his pocket. He was surprised he could find it in the first place, it ended up being in one of the drawers in his room. He flipped the light switch and the one overhead light flickered to life. A large counter sat on the side of the wall. Sans cringed at the ugly blue tiles. Other than that the room was open space. Sans dusted off the table with his hands and spread the blueprints out. He began tinkering with the plugs and wires. _

_ *** _

_ Sans awoke with paper stuck to his forehead. He pulled it off and scanned through his chicken scratch before searching for the sound that pulled him out of his slumber. He saw his phone vibrate and picked it up.  _

_ “Hey bro what’s up” Sans yawned.  _

_ “What’s up! It’s 2 in the morning!” Sans quickly checked the time on his phone.  _

_ “Wow, I guess it is, sorry bro I’ll be up in a bit” Sans said, hanging up when his brother agreed. He sent his finished blueprints to the lab by undernet and decided to leave the originals on the table as a backup copy. Sans began packing up and walked back up the stairs, turning the light off when he passed the switch. He turned and locked the door behind him. Sans actually rather liked working down there. A lot more room then the kitchen table. Sans walked into the main room of the house. _

_ Papyrus seemed to be talking to himself, pacing back and forth.  _

_ “Please tell me you didn’t burn down another room while I was down there” Sans laughed, throwing his jacket on the side of the couch.  _

_ “No! Come on brother have a little more faith in me than that” Papyrus grabbed his jacket and hung it on the coat rack. It took a tremendous amount of self control to keep from laughing after Papyrus wondered out loud “Why do they even have a coat rack?”.  _

_ “Alright so I’m heading to bed, you probably should too” Sans was already halfway up the stairs. “Brother, don't be silly I already slept” Papyrus proclaimed proudly. Sans froze going into his room. “Wow, apparently the Doc ain't the only one who needs a sleep schedule.” Sans mumbled to himself. Sans pulled the door shut, leaving a crack open for when Papyrus decided to burst in.  _

_ Sans fully expected Papyrus to burst through his room yelling about being ‘a lazybones’ or how Sans would be late for work even though he had 2 hours to spare. Because of this he didn’t set an alarm for the morning. So when he woke up naturally, light filling his room, Sans panicked. He ran around his room like a chicken with their head cut off, throwing on clothes and sliding down the stairs phone in hand. Dialing the first name on his contacts list. He heard the phone ring and grabbed a bagel off the counter which he stuck between his teeth.  _

_ A voice came through “H-Hey Sans! What’s up?” Sans stopped mid-word on the note he was writing for Papyrus. Sans expected his greeting to be anything but this cheerful and passive. “Um, Well I was going to say that I’m on my way to the lab, cause y'know, I’m late.” Sans said, not bothering to hide his confusion.  _

_ “O-oh! Papyrus d-didn’t tell y-you?” Sans looked around the kitchen for a note that could have been left for him.  _

_ “Um, no?” Sans replied walking up to his room to look.  _

_ “Oh well Doctor Gaster c-called today off” Sans froze, his full attention now turned to the conversation.  _

_ “Wait what? Seriously?” Sans had never heard of the Doctor calling a day off. He seemed so desperate to keep working the other day.  _

_ “Y-yeah he said he w-wasn’t feeling well, that we c-could all use a b-break! I think we f-finally got through t-to him!” Alphys sounded excited and, even though part of Sans doubted his intentions, Sans was happy too.  _

_ “Wow, well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then”.  _

_ “Y-yeah” Sans hung-up and stared at his phone screen for a bit and set it on the table where he finally noticed a bright yellow sticky note, followed by 2 more hanging from the bottom. He face-palmed, Sans must have missed them in his panic when he got-up. He read the notes chuckling at his brother's antics. _

**_Sans! Due to you working very hard last night The Great Papyrus has decided to let you be lazy for a little longer. (Don’t expect this to be an every morning thing!)_ **

**_-The Great Papyrus_ **

_ He switched notes.  _

**_P.S. Your wonderful friend called to inform you of your day-off. I am very sorry you don’t get to go to work today._ **

_ Sans laughed and flipped to the last one. _

**_P.P.S. your friend seemed rather surprised when I picked-up the phone. As anyone would be if they randomly got to talk to the Great Papyrus, however I believe you should call her to make sure she wasn’t startled._ **

_ Sans chuckled picturing the conversation between the eccentric skeleton and the quiet lizard. It could see it being quite a surprise to Alphys. Sans and Papyrus may be brothers but in some ways they are exact opposites. Sans heard a door slam and cringed. The hinges still wern’t in top shape since the last time Undyne came over. He came out of his room. And saw Papyrus nervously fussing over the door. Obviously already aware of his mistake.  _

_ “Don’t slam the door Pap” Sans said without any hint of scolding in his tone, walking into the kitchen nonchalantly.  _

_ “Sorry Brother! Did you see my note” Papyrus skipped into the kitchen to meet Sans who was already leaning against the counter.  _

_ “Yep, the doc is sick so I get to be even lazier than usual” Sans waited for Papyrus to protest, counting down in his head.  _

_ “Sick! Sans how could you even think of being lazy at a time like this!” Sans smiled as Papyrus flung the fridge door open and practically threw the ingredients onto the counter Sans narrowly ducking and dodging the barrage of food.  _

_ “We have to make him some get better food!” Papyrus said closing the fridge door. Sans thought about it. Making him food wouldn’t be a bad idea. Not only was it just a nice thing to do, it could also give him an opportunity to check up on Gaster.  _

_ “Good Idea bro” Sans said joining his brother at the stove. _

_ * * * _

_ Sans walked to the river person, Tupperware of steaming soup in hand. Papyrus had insisted they make his famous spaghetti, but Sans thought that Gaster might not be ready to taste something that amazing yet. Yeah, he was both proud and ashamed in himself with that one. Together the brothers made Chicken noodle soup, it was bland but still edible. He greeted the river person who didn’t seem the least bit surprised when Sans came later than usual. Sans figured that's where the rumors that the river person could see the future came from. Towards the ride however the boat slowed slightly and they turned to Sans.  _

_ “none will remember the lights going-out. flickering as an existence flickers out with them.“  _

_ Sans froze “W-what” Sans said startled. He had never heard the river person say more than a few sentences at a time. They simply began humming a familiar tune ignoring Sans’ constant questioning.  _

_ “You can’t just say something like that and stop” Sans said, raising his voice slightly. Sans talked and they hummed until the boat stopped at Hotland. Sans finally gave-up and left the boat hesitantly walking towards the lab taking a cup from the water fountain to quench his thirst. Balancing the soup and his cup. He continued to walk towards the lab paying no attention to shut down conveyors. _

_ As he walked up to the door there were no lights streaming from the crack under it this time. “Maybe he’s still sleeping” Sans thought nervously. He knocked on the door, no answer. He tried again with the same outcome. Sans sighed and pulled-out his keycard to let himself in. The light on the scanner turned green but quickly flicked off. Sans knocked on the scanner, but it seemed like the power was off.  _

**_The Power Was Off._ **

_ Sans looked around and saw every light nearby flash.  _

_ “No, That idiot!” Sans dropped the soup and summoned a bone to try and pry the door open to no use. More lights were flickering out. Sans remembered it takes about 10 minutes for power to fully transfer. He created another bone but the door barely budged. A light exploded from the second floor of the lab which startled him. Lights aren’t supposed to break. Sans desperately pulled to no avail. Each light around him flickered on and Sans dared to hope but the door still wouldn’t budge. He stepped back and called on the strongest of his magic to help him. To his surprise one skull appeared next to him seemingly waiting for permission. Sans only had a second to jump back and stare in awe. Only seconds to process the magical creation he hadn’t seen since he was young. Before it blew a blinding white beam into the door, leaving a hole instead.  _

_ Lights were flickering and exploding as Sans entered the lab magical construct forgotten in favor of his friend. When the elevator wouldn’t work he took the stairs 2 at a time, lights bursting before he even passed them. When he finally made it to the lab he was greeted by the most terrifying sight he’d ever seen. Gaster was desperately trying to turn the machine off from _ **_inside_ ** _ the testing room. The controls in the safety room fryed and smoking. Excess energy sparked and shot out in all directions. The only thing preventing it from reaching him was the radiation glass installed. Gaster didn’t have that pleasure as he weaved through the beams but not avoiding all of them.  _

_ “DR. GASTER!” Sans yelled but he was too absorbed to hear or comprehend Sans. He could hear the high pitched whine from the machine telling him it was still being fed with power. He ran through the door narrowly dodging a few beams and running to the safety room trying to get any of the controls to work. He had to turn the power off or the machine could explode taking Gaster with it.  _

_ The dull humming in the background grew louder as more and more power fed into the machine. The lights flickered on and off like strobe lights. Sans was frantically trying anything and everything he could think of.  _

_ The Doctor finally saw Sans, a panicked face closely resembling Sans’ own looked back. He mouthed instructions, ideas, to Sans for him to try. Sans did what he could. But that's all they were working with. Ideas, theories, nothing meant to be put into practice in a crisis situation. Finally after what seemed like a random combination of buttons and levers the ringing slowed and stopped. Sans looked at the doctor a question in his face ‘is it over’ Sans wondered.  _

_ The doctor sighed and Sans ran down to the testing room.  _

_ He looked over Gaster for injuries, Just burns from electricity, he looked extremely sleep deprived. He must have worked all night. But Sans wasn’t in the mood to scold, he’d let Alphys know what happened and they’d talk later. For now he simply looked at the Doctor face full of relief. They stood in the testing room. The machine still sparked in the background, the walls were still charred, but they were alive. Sans laughed, a laugh only used after the craziest, most stressful situations, a laugh you use when you escape the impossible. Gaster laughed as well both hands on the shoulders of the short skeleton. A pop echoed in the room and Gaster's eyes widened in terror.  _

_ He pushed Sans out the door slamming it shut engaging the auto lock procedure they implemented to protect themselves. Sans almost seemed to process in slow motion. Radiation and Bullet proof glass separated them along with a locked door. The machine seemed to curl into itself imploding into bright colors. Sans banged on the door in desperation. Gaster was stuck in a room with an exploding machine. Tears had begun appearing in his eyes but they weren't noticed.  _

_ All he thought about was that his mentor, his friend was in that room and he wasn’t. A wave of yellow light exploded from the machine, Sans was yelling but he couldn’t even hear himself. His ears felt blocked and his senses were dulled as he threw his shoulder against the door. The wave hit him and knocked him off his feet. Then everything went white, and it all ended in black.  _

**_You can’t escape destiny_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, New Tags!
> 
> and finally we are getting pretty close to 20,000 words and that's SUPER exciting so I may or may not do something for that. depends on where the story is at that point and if it would make sense.


	14. What was Never Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Alphys and Sans comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this Chapters a little shorter (okay a LOT shorter) than normal but I didn't really want to add anymore and take away from whats going on. Also new POV! (kinda cause I can't write POV to save my life) Just for this chapter though. Finally this isn't Sans x Alphys, just friends who understand each others pain.
> 
> edit:4/26/20

Alphys was frozen. Out of all the things she heard, everything she was told. She couldn’t imagine actually **being** there. Alphys stared at the now empty screen. She wasn’t sure she could even call it that. She didn’t know what it was, what any of this was. 

‘Mark it just another one of my ideas gone wrong’ She thought dejectedly. It took Alphys so long to be able to come out with her secrets. So long to work up the courage for her to tell the truth behind the stacks of unopened letters and the basement that only bad things seem to happen in. Yet here they were, diving into Sans’ secrets, his thoughts, everything he had tried to forget and stirring it up again. Maybe he was okay with Gaster being just a memory for them. Not even that for others, but what if he had tried to forget. 

Like Alphys had. 

What if he was trying to live in ignorance like how everyone else did. Treating that period like just another bad dream.

It took Alphys so long to prepare, to practice each word she would say until it was memorized. 

But Sans didn’t have time to prepare. He was thrown in this situation with no way out. In a room with no distractions, and with almost everyone he had tried to keep his secrets from. She looked at Sans concerned. To anyone who didn’t know him he looked fine. Sans was chuckling as the rest of their crew tried to cheer him up after the latest memory. Alphys cringed, Sans’ desperate teary face as he pounded on that door was stained in her mind. 

Alphys decided to do her part and walked over and stood next to her friend. He glanced at her but went back to watching the commotion in front of them. Alphys giggled as her girlfriend supplexed Frisk. Papyrus was watching her and looked like he had stars in his eyes. 

Toriel looked concerned watching Undyne carefully. Sans laughed but Alphys knew it wasn’t truthful. 

“S-Sans?” Sans hummed to let her know he was listening. 

“A-Are you okay?” Alphys questioned and he hesitated. 

“Papyrus and all of them. They know that...well that a monster just died but...” Sans sighed and cut himself off and looked at Alphys. 

“They still don’t remember him you know…” Alphys put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Y-Yeah I know” Sans chuckled quietly. 

“You’re the only one who knows…” Sans said. Alphys noticed he looked like he wanted to say something else. 

“A-And…” Alphys prompted. She knew she shouldn’t push. That anything else was his choice whether he wanted to say it or not. But if Sans didn’t stop trying to bear the weight of the world alone, it would break him. Alphys’ troubles didn’t matter right now. Right now all that matters is that the skeleton in front of her learned that it's okay to ask for help. 

Like she had to learn. 

Sans seemed to be debating with himself to continue. 

“How...” He started, his normal smile downcast and gloomy. 

“How do you grieve for someone...who doesn’t exist?” Sans put his skull in his hands. 

“He was my mentor,  _ our  _ friend. How am I supposed to accept that he’s just  **gone.** Just gone and we never had a funeral, or got to spread his dust, and nobody but  **us** even noticed that the royal scientist disappeared…” Sans was rambling now. Alphys did the only thing she could think of. Nerves forgotten Alphys hugged Sans. Said skeleton jolted not expecting the sudden movement. 

“I can’t just...move on like I’m supposed to” Sans finished defeated, collapsing in the embrace. “I-I think that this is the b-best we can do. We d-don’t have to move on u-until we’re r-ready. T-There’s no “supposed to” i-in a situation l-like this.” Alphys sighed, she was about to say the most hypocritical thing she's ever said in her life. 

“A-And there’s n-no ignoring it e-either…” Alphys said, she felt her sleeve getting damp and a few tears sliding down her face as well. The two sat taking comfort from the only other person who truly understood. Alphys thought she was being selfish, Sans was there, he had it so much worse, so she shouldn’t be crying too. Sans thought he was being a bother, making his friend deal with the emotional mess he was after that memory dragged up old feelings. 

But right now they ignored their heads. 

Sans let himself be comforted, because he knew he needed it. And Alphys let herself cry because they both lost a friend that day. 

Because the underground lost the most brilliant mind it never knew it had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Honestly a lot of ways Sans and Alphys are reacting come from how I deal with grieve. Recently I lost a family member which is kind why I did a chapter like this. But I'm really good at just ignoring stuff like that, pretending it never happened, so when it hits you that all of this is real and not some... nightmare. It's hard... and it's hard to accept help and that it's okay for you to be sad when everyone else is too. 
> 
> Wow okay that got deep. But I'll see you all next week and thanks for reading!


	15. The Reality of Shortcuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late!! This chapter killed me, I kept rewriting it cause I didn't like it (Ithink my writings getting worse). And two, if my brain doesn't decide to add more unneeded parts then I originally planed then we only have one more Chapter in Part 2! Yay!
> 
> So enjoy the chapter!
> 
> edit:4/26/20
> 
> 2020: I'm thinking of doing a technicalities chapter soon just explaining some of the lore stuff. what do you think?

_ Everything was dark and unfocused. Some type of yelling was in the background. They sounded upset. He wanted to reach out and comfort them but his body wasn't responding to his commands. The world slowly came further into focus. His mind seemed to clear as well. He noticed the room was moving. Or maybe he was, 'that would make more sense' he thought. He managed to tilt his head towards the voice. They were talking to themselves. Both hands gripping their head.  _

_ She seemed familiar, 'what was her name?' He thought. She must have noticed he was awake cause she came rushing next to him. Her voice was crystal clear now.  _

_ "Sans! Sans are you okay!!" She yelled frantically.  _

_ 'Sans is my name right?' He thought. Apparently his thoughts went as internal as he meant them to be. The Lady jumped back as if she was hit. Her voice wavered.  _

_ "O-of course t-that's your name. D-do you know...w-who...who I am?". Sans searched through his head. She was so familiar, he had to know her from somewhere. Each second he took to think seemed to agitate her more. She sighed defeated, but Sans didn't give up. Finally a name clicked.  _

_ "Alphys" he said out loud. She, Alphys, flipped her head around and rushed to hug him. An idea clicked in place too.  _

_ "Sorry I had to really  _ **_rattle_ ** _ my brain for that one" Sans said. It felt natural, right even to be making jokes. Alphys laughed and cried at the same time, relieved that her friend was okay. Slowly Sans remembered more and more. His brother, whom he called to reassure he was okay. Sans was mad at himself for forgetting his ray of sunshine. He told him that he might not be back tonight. They had a lot to work through. He was remembering much quicker than most amnesia patients. It had only been a couple hours since he woke up and Sans had remembered most of his book knowledge by now. Things he learned from reading the old textbooks in his house and from his experience at the lab. His time at the lab was still fuzzy. Apparently he wasn’t the only one that was an issue for though.  _

_ Papyrus had mentioned how he went to the Lab to check on a friend. Neither skeletons could remember who that friend was though. Maybe it was Alphys. But Alphys assured him that she came to the lab after the disaster. It almost seemed like something was missing. He remembered some of the incident that caused his temporary amnesia. Some is still a stretch though.  _

_ No matter how hard he thinks he can’t remember what he was so frantically trying to save. Maybe it was their research or the machine, but that didn’t fit into place. If it was just that he wouldn’t have stayed in danger, he would have ran for cover.  _

_ "How did you find me?" Sans asked.  _

_ Alphys froze "I-I wanted to c-check up on...on...someone" she froze thinking looking to fill the blank in her mind just as Sans had moments ago. She waved it aside in order to finish her story. "B-but when I went d-down to the L-Lab everything was wrecked except the machine and y-you w-were unconscious a-and I checked y-you" She was speaking and breathing much faster now. Sans reached out a hand on her shoulder to stop the incoming panic attack.  _

_ "I'm okay Alph, I promise" She took a few deep breaths but then shot an angry look at Sans. "Why didn't you tell anyone you only had one HP!" Sans looked at her surprised.  _

_ He sighed "I just didn’t want you guys treating me like a porcelain doll, I've lived with it all my life." Alphys was staring at him, unblinking.  _

_ "What?" Sans asked self consciously.  _

_ "Y-you guys…" Alpyhs said and gripped her head.  _

_ "Who…" she looked lost, reaching for information that was miles away. Sans' eyes widened. He racked his brain. There were three of them, friends, partners. Why couldn’t they remember their name. Alphys walked towards the elevator door gesturing for Sans to follow.  _

_ "I'm, w-we're forgetting something- someone. M-maybe they’re d-down there too. W-what if they got hurt too" Alphys opened the door and Sans joined her in the elevator. As they went down level after level Sans couldn't shake the feeling he kept missing something. Like the answer was just out of reach and he could brush it with his fingertips. The door opened and Sans finally saw the sight Alphys was greeted with when she came down. The lights were off, giving the lab an eerie feeling. Papers managed to littler every inch of the floor. The sounds of their footsteps echoed off the wall. Both scientists walked to the testing room without thinking. As they got closer the destruction got worse.  _

_ “You walked this by yourself?” Sans whispered. He felt like he shouldn’t be here.  _

_ “Y-Yeah i w-was worried b-but i-it’s…” Alphys pulled on her lab coat.  _

_ “Freaky” Sans finished for her. Alphys responded with a timid nod. Sans froze when he saw the door to the testing chamber. The walls were blackened in some areas, any previously whole glass was long shattered. Even more concerning considering it was shatter proof. He could see parts and pieces on the ground past the barrier.  _

_ "T-this was where I- Sans?" Alphys froze. Sans was staring straight ahead at the carnage.  _

_ "He's why I survived" Sans said quietly.  _

_ "W-what?" Sans looked at Alphys, eyelights small and wavering.  _

_ "I was gonna check up on him. But it went haywire and right when we thought it was over, when we thought we were okay" Sans sucked in a harsh breath. He brought both hands up to his head shaking.  _

_ "he pushed me out. He  _ **_saved_ ** _ me. He...he" Sans was so close to grasping the answer. Fingers brushing the truth.  _

_ "Sans c-calm down" Alphys pleaded but in truth she was no less confused than Sans was. She felt it too, the echo of something lost. A presence that was watching them. Sans walked into the Safety room. Controls were broken beyond repair. He looked out the only remaining window into the Testing room.  _

_ "Sans?" Alphys was visabley concerned but Sans paid to no mind. He remembers it. The whirling lights, the electricity flashing, the panic.  _

**_'DR. GASTER!'_ **

_ It came to him in a thought. A flash back maybe. All the sudden he felt a wave of the same panic he felt during the catastrophe. It was enough to set his eye ablaze. He stumbled backwards into the wall. This wasn't just his magic.  _

_ "Sans!" Alphys yell was muted. Sans was staring in awe. He could feel the familiar blue magic he was born with but there was also an outside source. As he looked around the room he could see yellow rips in thin air. In the corners floating there.  _

_ "Sans!!" Sans looked at Alphys. Her voice finally broke through.  _

_ "Sans y-your eye!" Sans reached a hand up subconsciously.  _

_ "I-its yellow, I-I mean n-not only yellow it's your normal blue t-too" Alphys stumbled over her words. Sans had used his magic a few times before, moving heavy things, stuff like that. Sans looked around the room once again taking in the flashes of yellow.  _

_ "Can you see that?" Sans asked, pointing at a rip in the far corner of the room. Alphys looked up at him curiously. Sans could still see the hint of concern behind her gaze.  _

_ "That yellow tear, in the wall, or air I guess" Sans continued. Alphys stared at the wall. She squinted her eyes but obviously saw nothing.  _

_ "I- no?" Alphys ended unsure. Sans nodded slowly.  _

_ "C-can you see something?" Another nod. Alphys walked over the wall and touched where the rip would be but saw nothing.  _

_ "T-that's weird… I wonder if the residual energy from the explosion messed with your eyes" Sans' eye stopped glowing and the rips slowly faded. Sans didn't want to stay down in the lab anymore. Not to mention It was a lot to process at once. Now he might have messed up the only normally functioning eye he had left. He had a name now. Dr. Gaster. He repeated in his head so he didn't forget again. Sans asked to go up and Alphys agreed, but not before taking one last look.  _

_ "Do you think he.."  _

_ "Dr. Gaster." Sans interrupted.  _

_ “His name is- was Dr. Gaster” Sans amended. _

_ Alphys’s eyes widened "o-of course! H-how could I-" Suddenly she gasped and Alphys ran up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Sans chased after her half out of curiosity and half not wanting to be left alone in the creepy lab. Before all of this ‘creepy’ was the last word he would use to describe this place. The place where they became friends and partners, not just assistants to their mentor.  _

_ Sans was out of breath by the time he ran up the stairs. If Alphys was tired, however, she didn’t show it. Alphys flew straight to the bunch of blueprints scattered on the table by the door. Sans looked over her shoulder at them. They were blueprints of the machine, old and new. Some neither of them had seen. Alphys dug through finding the newest one.  _

_ “The machine b-basically messed with the f-fabric of time space. We w-were going back in time to s-see how the barrier was created t-to rebuild it. The way Gaster t-talked he seemed to believe time was linear. Meaning t-there wasn’t any p-point to trying to stop the war. B-But when he sent h-himself through he wanted to s-stay out of sight just in case that wasn’t true.” Alphys wasn’t talking to him, just talking.  _

_ Sans nodded along anyway, this is all the stuff he knew, stuff that was explained to him when he signed up for his assistantship. Everything about then was fuzzy, but clear too. Once in a while a memory would be perfectly clear, but sometimes it was like grasping for straws.  _

_ “W-what if when the machine exploded, since Gaster was already trying to get it to run, the residual energy from the blast-” Sans joined in now  _

_ “Entered my eye” he said, astonished but had one more idea.  _

_ “So those yellow rips I was seeing-”  _

_ “T-they’re exactly that, t-tears in time space”  _

_ “Caused by the machine exploding as it was trying to tear it’s own rip” Alphys nodded. But answering those questions just brought more to mind. He wondered if each of those rips went to a different time. He lit up his eye. The reflective surface of the table gave him a look at what Alphys saw. His eye now flashed a brilliant yellow along with his normal blue.  _

_ “C-can you s-see them still?” Alphys wondered, Sans looked around.  _

_ “Yeah, but there’s only two. One there-” Sans pointed to the far end of the lab from where they were by the door.  _

_ “And one by the monitor” Alphys nodded walking to the monitor. She reached for the rip “h-here?” Sans nodded.  _

_ “You’re pretty much touchin’ it'' Alphys looked frustrated but her eyes lit up. A clear sign she had an idea.  _

_ “C-can you try t-touching it?” Sans looked at her surprised.  _

_ “Alph that’s crazy! We don’t even know what these are exactly, what if takes me back like 5 years!” Alphys’ smile curled up  _

_ “Then think about not going back 5 years'' Sans sighed. When did his partner get so crazy. To be honest though, Sans was kinda curious too. He walked up and moved his hand forward. All the while he repeated ‘Stay in the lab, don’t go back in time.’ In his head. He knew it was silly, if this thing was gonna do anything it wouldn’t be by his terms. He waved his hand through but nothing happened.  _

_ “Welp that was anticlimactic” Sans chuckled quietly. He walked into it sure nothing was going to happen but everything went black. Sans tried to look around but he couldn’t even see his own hands. Sans almost panicked but started repeating his phrase again. When the world got light again, Sans was at the other side of the lab. He lost his footing catching himself with his hands and breathing heavily. Sans looked around, his eye no longer glowing.  _

_ “Sans a-are you okay!” He nodded getting back up brushing off the nonexistent dust on his clothes.  _

_ “That was... interesting” Sans said.  _

_ “You a-almost instantly t-traveled to the other side of the room” Alphys was mumbling to herself. Sans started thinking, it didn’t feel that way to him. He must have been in that...black...for maybe 30 seconds. Enough time for some to notice he was gone. But maybe time doesn’t pass wherever he was in there. Maybe they can still go back in time, what if Gasters work isn’t lost. Sans jumped up and lit his eye up again.  _

_ “S-sans?”  _

_ “I’m gonna try to go back in time five minutes” He said plainly.  _

_ Alphys nodded following his line of thought. Sans walked back through the rift and the world went dark again. He tried thinking about going back in time but it wasn’t working. He tried repeating it over and over in his head but nothing changed. He couldn’t leave the dark, at least not leave it the way he wanted to. He felt like he was sinking in the black. The longer he was in here the more the darkness seemed to swallow him. He swore he heard a voice call his name and it sounded familiar but Sans didn’t pay any attention. ‘Gotta get out of here!’ He thought. He felt like he was drowning, his thoughts too frantic to get out. He felt a presence pull him out of the inky darkness and he grasped the first coherent thought he had. He thought about returning to the lab, and finally the lights turned back on. He fell to the floor gasping. That place felt like it was suffocating you.  _

_ “O-okay no g-going back in- in time” Sans got out through choppy breaths as Alphys comforted him.  _

_ The rest of the night was uneventful. Alphys gave him time to work himself out before they started talking again. He didn’t tell her exactly what happened. Neither slept, they looked through old notes. They even went down to the testing room again to look for Gaster, He was nowhere to be found. His old research projects were now uncredited.  _

_ It was like he didn’t exist anymore.  _

_ Or like he never existed in the first place.  _

_ Sans didn’t test the rifts anymore more focused on finding his friend. At some point Alphys ran outside yelling at anyone who was awake at that hour about Dr. Gaster. Sans had to drag her back as she sobbed. Sans felt empty as he looked through more evidence of his friend's disappearance.  _

_ “He’s just gone, so easily, it happened so fast” He clutched his head, his voice sounded hollow. Alphys placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. To anyone but them, Dr. Gaster never existed. Sans suggested that because they knew him best is why they still have some memories.  _

_ Eventually, exhausted, they both went home. Sans walked with his eye ablaze looking at all the rips as he passed them. He arrived at Snowdin and snuck into his room, careful not to wake Papyrus. Sans collapsed in his bed staring at the ceiling. He left his sheets pushed to the back. He was too tired to pull them up.  _

_ So much had changed in one day.  _

_ Too much to keep track of.  _

_ What if he woke-up tomorrow and he didn’t remember Gaster either?  _

_ Sans shot up in his bed, what he woke-up just like everyone else and Gaster just seemed like a dream. He dug through drawers grabbing a piece of paper and a black pen. He drew a picture of himself, Alphys, and Gaster. It wasn’t perfect, he was never much of an artist, but it wasn’t meant to be in an art museum either. Finally he wrote a message on the top of the sheet and set it next to his bed.  _

_ “Don’t forget” Sans said out loud as he drifted off to sleep repeating the name of his friend over and over.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for those who are confused cause i didn't spend a lot of time on it in the chapter. Sans and Alphys remember because they spent so much time with Gaster before the incident so they have the most memories with him period. (besides his apparent family but we don't talk about them ;) ) They still have blank spots and blurry things but they remember a lot more than most people. They're where they are because of Gaster after all. He's also the whole reason they became friends. 
> 
> Then we go to Sans' eye.  
> Gaster started the machine before it overloaded, meaning it already started running its program. To go through time it was opening it's own rift through, when it exploded it opened multiple rips instead and residual energy entered Sans' eye. It gave him the ability to see the tears in time caused by the machine and interact with them since some of energy is inside of him. The explosion (or should I say implosion) of the machine was mostly contained in the true lab area, but the rips spread across the entire underground. For those who haven't guessed, this is how Sans eventually uses his shortcuts. he also has to see his destination rip first and picture coming out there (which is why he couldn't leave when he was panicking). 
> 
> So ya I think that's enough explanation, if you have any questions feel free to comment them (I've been kinda worried I didn't explain it well enough so I'd be happy to answer any questions to keep people on track). 
> 
> Have a good weekend/week everyone and I'll see you next time!


	16. Things Said Too Quietly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for being so late. I kinda feel like I owe an explanation. Long Story Short, Life got really complicated for a while. I said something earlier on that school has to come before this but I really wanted to keep my at least every other week thing going. Unfortunately, I got myself stuck in this loop of being unproductive and really stressed and I started falling into a bad head space. I think not writing made it worse since I didn’t do anything to let the stress out. I’m finally picking myself out of it and trying to get my head back in the game though and I’m feeling a lot better now! But in other news welcome to the official end of the second part! This means we're about half way through at this point! 
> 
> FORMATTING:  
> bold paragraphs or sentences: flashbacks or dreams/nightmares
> 
> BTW I do some plot explaining on the bottom note so check it out.
> 
> edit:4/26/20

Nobody spoke. In all honesty the stunned silence drove everyone insane. And unsurprisingly, Undyne was the first to break it. She yelled and fired punches into the air. 

"Why. Can't. You. Have. Normal. Problems." she yelled each word punctuated by a breath and punches. 

"U-Undyne…" Alphys tried to comfort her, she knew Undyne wasn't mad at them. She was mad at the situation. Undyne isn't a 'touchy feely' kinda monster. Emotion gave way to anger in her mind. Sans watched the encounter with curiosity. Undyne looked frustrated. He sighed and turned only to see Papyrus staring blanking at the empty screen. Noticing that his brother had been uncharacteristically quiet, Sans walked over. 

"Hey bro?" Papyrus turned to him, frustration painted clearly on his face. 

"Pap what's wrong?". He turned and faced the screen again. 

"It's all so familiar" he said, almost too quiet to hear. 

"what?" Sans looked up at him. Papyrus continued, grasping for the right words. 

"I mean I… remember you coming home.. And working… you tried explaining it to me so many times" Sans froze. He felt like Papyrus had more to say. Low and behold Papyrus started speaking again, quieter so Sans had to strain to hear. 

"But it feels like just as quickly as those memories come to me, they leave" Sans was speechless. How was he supposed to comfort someone who had the same frustrations as him. Sans had spent hours cursing the world that they didn’t remember, Now Papyrus was frustrated about the same thing. 

“I HATE FEELING HELPLESS!” The shout came from the other side of the room. It made the brothers jump. Undyne looked like she was trying to throw a spear. Papyrus giggled at the display. 

“Heh, that’s right. no magic in here.” Sans said lazily. He slipped his hands naturally in his pockets. Alphys finally managed to explain to Undyne why her spears weren’t manifesting, unfortunately everyone had been thoroughly amused by that point. Frisk was giggling along with Toriel. Sans wondered how they were holding up but they wouldn’t have any ‘missing’ memories to search for. 

Even so, Sans searched their faces for any signs of being upset. Toriel seemed fine all except for a sad look that seemed more sympathetic than anything. Frisk however, behind their giggles, was a hint of recognition. Haunted eyes stared through the facade. But maybe it was everything piling-up. There’s no way they could have known Gaster, and now they never will know him. 

But now the next memory begins. 

* * *

_ Sans woke up to the loud ringing of his alarm. He groaned and nearly broke the clock smashing snooze.  _

_ “Morning” Sans said to himself, resting on a piece of paper on his desk. He stared at the ceiling, the mere thought of getting up making him sink further into the mattress. He knew he should go to work. Any other day he would be throwing on clothes and rushing downstairs. Any other day he would grab a bagel and walk to the river person beginning his trip to the lab. Instead Sans laid on his back in his bed, his blanket crumpled up at the bottom. He picked up the paper under his hand and held it in front of him. He analyzed every curve of the marker, every dot. He stared at the words written on the page until he didn’t recognize them as letters anymore.  _

_ After that it had been ten minutes.  _

_ Right now he would probably be arriving at the lab. He would greet Alphys showing off his cup of water from the cooler. Gaster would be giving him a smug look because he knew why Sans always waited to throw the cup away until after Alphys saw he had it. Because he knew that despite his nonchalant attitude, he loved to make anyone smile or laugh.  _

_ Sans pressed his hands to his face, paper left to flutter onto his shirt. Right now they would all be gathered around the table heads bumping into each other as they all reached with their pens to fix the same mistake on the blueprints. Gaster would laugh his deep contagious laugh and Alphys would join quietly at first before the room was filled with laughter. But if Sans was going to be realistic, that hasn’t happened in a long time.  _

_ Because that Gaster was gone before the ‘incident’ even happened.  _

_ A heaviness settled on his chest as the paper dropped to the floor.  _

_ Gaster had started becoming obsessed with the project long before, and he had noticed the signs. Sans couldn’t help but think that maybe if he had pushed a little harder, Gaster would still be here. That maybe if he had been a little stricter they could have pulled him back from the borderline. Sans heard the telltale clanging of pots and pans that signified his brother being awake.  _

_ He was officially late for work.  _

_ Sans reached for his lamp hoping the light would wake him up and give more motivation to move. But instead he knocked the lamp off his table. It landed with a loud crash which he assumed was the bulb breaking. Sans cringed at the noise and soon realized the kitchen had grown quiet.  _

_ His door creaked open slightly “Brother? Are you okay?” Papyrus seemed reluctant to come in but Sans waved him in. The door opened the rest of the way as Papyrus stood tall on the frame. “Yeah Pap I’m fine, just knocked the lamp off” Sans replied, his voice sounded exhausted even to his own ears. Papyrus gave him a concerned look as Sans forced himself up to wipe the glass off the drawing forgotten on the floor.  _

_ “Who is that brother? He seems familiar..” Papyrus peered at the paper. Sans didn’t have to question who he was asking about, his whole body seemed to double in weight as the question truly hit him though.  _

_ “Just...a friend” Sans said, wanting nothing more than to crawl under the covers. Papyrus either didn’t notice or didn’t acknowledge his change in demeanor. “Anyway why aren’t you at work?” Papyrus pulled a dustpan out of mid air and began cleaning up the glass on the floor as he talked. Sans dropped the paper earning himself a disapproving look.  _

_ ‘Seriously who’s the big brother here?’ Sans thought playfully before turning serious thinking through Papyrus’ comment. Sans contemplated if he even was needed there in the first place. Alphys was probably smart enough to run the whole place by herself.  _

_ He turned to his brother “Just not feeling up to it right now, I should probably go check in though”.  _

_ Papyrus nodded focused on his task of cleaning the room. He looked especially perturbed at his wad of blankets. Sans chuckled, it almost felt unnatural, and walked down to the kitchen. He checked the kitchen and noticed what looked at what seemed to be the ingredients for pancakes...plus spaghetti noodles. That would have been an interesting breakfast, suddenly Sans wondered if he needed to start hiding the spaghetti noodles, but decided against it. He just needed to learn something else to cook and spaghetti would be forgotten.  _

_ Now that he thought about it he thought the bunny at the inn knew a pretty good quiche recipe he could try with him. Maybe another day though, Sans continued to walk to the river persons dock.  _

_ The thought of doing anything else today weighed on him.  _

_ When he arrived he wasn't surprised to see the river person almost waiting for him. He had gotten used to the fact he was always there when people needed to be picked up. He started to walk up but hesitated. He remembered the talk he had with the river person on that day. It was chilling how he talked, his tone void of emotion. _

**_“none will remember the lights going-out. flickering as an existence flickers out with them.“_ **

_ Perfectly calm talking about a life that was going to be lost. The worst part is that it was catered to him, about Gaster… Sans didn't want to hear anything else he might have to say. That means walking, Sans starred in the direction he would have to go. The thought of walking almost sent him back to his house in defeat. He knew he'd made the walk many times but today he didn’t have the energy.  _

_ That left one option, ‘I really am being lazy today’ he thought. He lit up his eye taking note of a rip on the tree behind him. Sans breathed out and walked through it picturing the lab in his mind. Picturing Alphys at her desk, picturing the main room where everything had a place that it never got brought back too. Picturing the small elevator that somehow fit three people, granted two of them were tiny compared to the third. Picturing the stairs to use when the elevator went out. He felt the atmosphere change and he opened his eyes to the corners of the lab.  _

_ Alphys was mumbling and staring at the work on the desk. She seemed to have shut out anything around her, completely focusing on her work.  _

_ ‘Is this what Gaster looked like, what he did when nobody was around’ He cringed and guilt filled his system.  _

_ Sans walked up behind her “Heya Alph” He said forcing a nonchalant tone and Alphys jumped sky high.  _

_ “Sans!” She spun around hand clutching her coat. He cringed, maybe coming up behind her wasn’t the best idea.  _

_ “I-I didn’t see y-you come i-in” She said, turning back to her papers. The desk was filled with blueprints, past works of Gasters. Just how they had left it last night.  _

_ “I didn’t, well not through a door” He said, noticing a blueprint of the machine on her table. He saw his messy handwriting in the corner complimented by Gaster's neat words.  _

_ Alphys looked surprised “You’re a-already getting g-good at i-it” Not that he wanted to. It was unfair, he should have died in that explosion too.  _

_ He should have gotten there sooner.  _

_ He should have done so many things.  _

_ “Yeah…” Sans said simply but his mind was elsewhere. Alphys looked at him concerned. They were fine yesterday, experimenting with his new powers, working until they passed-out. It wasn’t healthy but it wasn’t  _ **_this_ ** _. Maybe it took until now for it to hit.  _

_ “S-stop” Sans snapped-out of his thoughts and looked at Alphys.  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “I-i can see you t-thinking, blaming yourself.” Sans cursed, here Alphys was working on a solution and all while he was having his own personal pity party.  _

_ “Sorry Alph, do you need help?”  _

_ “Sans...” Sans was desperate not to continue the conversation, he stuck his head into one of Gaster's works on the table pretending to be completely immersed.  _

_ “I-it’s not your f-fault” Alphys said simply but sighed when Sans didn’t respond. He was gripping the binder hard. He glanced at the cover page. The place where it should say ‘Written by: Dr. Gaster’ looked like someone typed over it multiple times with different names. Like the work couldn’t decide who wrote it.  _

_ They went on like this for about an hour, Alphys discreetly trying to help, sending him worried looks, and Sans refusing to give her what she was looking for. He kept a mask on tight, barely making eye contact in hopes of fooling her. This just raised her suspicions more, Sans made occasional jokes that they both knew were to try to keep the atmosphere light.  _

_ Alphys never realized how much she relied on Sans to hold a conversation until he stopped starting another one. She could tell he was tired but he refused to admit it.  _

_ ‘I bet he could have gotten him to say something’ Alphys thought and turned back to her work.  _

_ Sans read another line of work trying to focus on the words, he read another scribbled name that was clear two days ago.  _

_ ‘It can’t have only been two days’ He thought and sighed.  _

_ He reread the same line again.  _

_ ‘What's the purpose of this? It’s not going to bring him back’ Sans shut the binder and stood up, walking to blueprints. Alphys looked up seeing his movement and watched him silently. Sans threw the binder on the table and looked at the old blueprints but his mind wouldn’t make sense of the information in front of him.  _

_ “Sans?” he turned to Alphys who looked conflicted. She was almost out of her chair ready to go to Sans if he needed her.  _

_ “I- I think I just need new surroundings” His face had slowly turned to the desk as he talked. Hiding his cracking mask, he stared at the blueprints.  _

_ “Can I just take some of the blueprints with me to study at home” Sans rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his friend.  _

_ “U-uh sure?” Alphys gestured freely at the blueprints.  _

_ “g-go ahead”. He nodded gratefully and picked a few to take home.  _

_ “Sans?” Sans hummed to show he was listening.  _

_ “I-If you need to t-talk to someone I-I can, I-I mean, I’ll always be there” Sans froze. He needed to talk to someone.  _

_ About how his chest has felt has felt heavier and heavier as the day went on.  _

_ How he should have helped, saved him.  _

_ He wanted to yell about how the world isn’t fair, that he got new ‘magic’ and Gaster…  _

_ He needed to say sorry to Alphys for letting her down,  _

_ he needed to say sorry to him for letting him down.  _

_ He needed to save him because it’s his fault in the first place.  _

_ It was his fault he was too slow to do anything.  _

_ Sans couldn’t look her in the eye “Alph… I-”. Sans started when a knock sounded from the door, shocking Sans from his sentence. Sans shook his head and walked to the door and opened it. Unbeknownst to him Alphys was glaring at the door for interrupting.  _

_ “Howdy, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Sans and Alphys’ eyes widened as they took in their visitor.  _

_ “Uh...no… um... come in?” Sans looked to Alphys for confirmation. Starstruck, Alphys nodded and so Sans stepped aside to let him in. He walked past him and took in the lab. Sans took him in at the same time. A regal purple cloak flowed behind him. Golden shoulder caps and a modest gold crown topped the look. Everything about him screamed royalty.  _

_ Sans cringed at the state of the lab. Papers were strewn about every corner of every desk. The tools were crudely organized since neither Alphys nor Sans could remember Gaster’s system exactly. Alphys must have noticed the same thing. She jumped to action clearing off a table and chairs for them to sit at.  _

_ “Uh s-sorry about t-the m-mess. We...uh...wern’t e-expecting anyone l-let alone you y-your highness” Alphys stuttered.  _

_ “There is nothing wrong with a messy workspace, It just means it’s getting used. And Asgore is fine”. Alphys nodded, obviously shaken up. Sans took the moment to step in and relive some of the attention sent to her.  _

_ “So uh… Asgore… What can we do for you?” Despite feeling awkward using the king's first name he put on his most collected face and went with it.  _

_ “Well you see…” His smile turned more contemplative.  _

_ “I can’t seem to recall the last time we’ve had an official royal scientist here and I had heard a number of people say how often you two are here-” Sans tried very hard not to let his smile dip at the development. Asgore seemed unsure of his own statement. His look mimicked his own when he was grasping for straws. Alphys had more trouble keeping her face neutral though.  _

_ “- I was wondering if either of you would like to take on the role” Sans replayed his wording. “Just one of us?” Sans said questioningly.  _

_ “Unfortunately yes, just one” Asgore said sadly.  _

_ “W-well Sans i-is the s-smartest so-”  _

_ “Alphys should do it” Sans said resolutely. Alphys looked at him in shock and looked back and forth between her company and Sans.  _

_ “W-will you g-give us a m-moment” She said, pulling Sans away.  _

_ “You s-should take it Sans” Alphys argued.  _

_ “No I shouldn’t, You’re smarter-” Alphys tried to argue but Sans just continued.  _

_ “You work so hard on everything-” This time Alphys forced her way in.  _

_ “Y-You do too! You worked just as hard as Dr. Gaster” Sans cringed at the name, it felt weird hearing out loud. Both of them had avoided his name, at least out loud, preferring pronouns instead.  _

_ “A-and I’m not as good at q-quantum physics as y-you” Sans scoffed.  _

_ “Maybe, but even so, I think it’s time someone takes a different approach to break us out of here.” Sans smiled reassuringly.  _

_ “Sans…” She was losing the argument.  _

_ Sans sighed “You’re brilliant but you refuse to acknowledge your own talents” He said not knowing where the sentence came from. Alphys looked up at him surprised.  _

_ “You have different talents so use them, find a better solution” Alphys nodded meekly and they walked back to Asgore who was studying blueprints on the table. They were blueprints Sans didn’t recognize and definitely not Gasters.  _

_ “I-I… would like to t-take the j-job” Alphys said looking down. Asgore looked up and to Sans. He nodded and Asgore smiled. They talked and Sans watched with his hands in his jacket pockets. Asgore got around to asking about the blueprints, Alphys just stuttered and said it’s something for a show she watched. In all honesty Sans wanted to be royal scientist, who wouldn’t, but ‘This is for the best’ he thought.  _

_ ‘I could never take his title, never live up to what he did, but she can’ Sans looked at Alphys stutter and almost intervened but Asgore laughed a hearty laugh and she loosened-up.  _

_ ‘She’ll do great, better than I could’ He had a melancholy smile on his face.  _

_ ‘She’ll do better without me holding her down…’ Sans' smile turned downcast. He carefully interrupted the conversation.  _

_ “Welp I should go, my bro’s probably waitin’ for me” He said nonchalantly.  _

_ “Of course, but may I have your name?” Sans smiled.  _

_ “Sans the skeleton” He laughed  _

_ “Well I hope we will meet again Sans” Asgore said politely but no less sincere. _

_ San nodded and turned to Alphys “See you later Alph” She waved back shyly. She had a smile on her face that Sans couldn’t help but copy. He gathered blueprints and walked out of the lab before looking for a rip. He walked through to his house and sighed as he entered the living room.  _

_ “Handy shortcut” He said to no one and flopped on the couch blueprints abandoned on the floor. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, but at that moment the room was too quiet and his thoughts too loud. He eventually drifted off to sleep, doubts and guilt swirling in his mind.  _

**_It was too dark. That was his first thought. He looked at his hands and saw nothing but inky black. He felt himself sinking into the dark like quicksand. The room seemed to go on forever. A world of pitch black with no walls, nothing for eyes to grasp onto. His breathing quickened as he tried to pull himself out of the ink noticing he was to his waist. The large room suddenly felt suffocating like the walls he couldn’t see were pressed up against his sides._ **

**_The world was unbearably quiet, the only sounds being his own struggling. He tried to yell for help but his voice was quiet, swallowed-up by the dark. He felt helpless in his fight. With helplessness came the realization he was stuck. He felt a weight pressing down on him, almost pushing him under faster._ **

**_He was almost to his shoulders and breathing was hard. The ink pushed against the movement of his chest, forcing him to breathe small shallow breaths. He suddenly saw a shape standing on top of the black resembling a monster. Not caring if it was his own imagination, he tried to yell but his voice was still gone. The figure turned anyway and moved closer whispers following it._ **

**_His struggle resumed with new hope that the figure could save him. ‘Help!’ He tried to yell again. It echoed in his mind not coming out. The figure came up to him smiling. The whispers got louder with him. ‘What?’ The smile looked creepy and crazed._ **

**_The figure almost resembled “Gaster?” He crooked, his voice raw even though he just now was able to speak. He smiled wider at the name._ **

**_“Please help me” He said weakly ink up to his neck, breathing nearly impossible._ **

**_“HeLp YoU? LiKe YoU HeLpEd mE?” Sans stared with wide eyes. The whispers got louder, the words now recognizable. He almost wished they weren't though. The whispers were insults coming from all directions._ **

**_“UsEleSS”_ **

**_“LaZy”_ **

**_“HoPeLeSs”_ **

**_“hELpLess''._ **

**_He wanted to cover his ears but his arms were trapped under._ **

**_“I’ll HeLp YoU” His smile creeped up and he now struggled against him as the goopy arms pushed him down faster. Soon he was completely encased, he held his breath to no avail._ **

_ Sans gasped, hands pulling at his chest. He looked around seeing the surroundings of his room. His covers had been thrown on the floor in his panic. Sans could almost feel the ink in his non-existent lungs, the hands that practically radiated evil intent. He felt his stomach heave and ran to the bathroom. He bent over the toilet and threw-up. Finally, Sans leaned against the wall sitting on the floor. _

_ Sans didn’t know how long it took him to calm down. He knew it was late or early, whichever. The look of that place was engraved in his head. The complete absence of everything, the void he was in. Sans suddenly realized the place he went between the rips looked the same. He sighed not in the mood to check his theory. He shut his eyes but the whispers replayed in his head.  _

_ “I tried to save you, I-I promise I tried” Sans felt his throat constricting but he pushed back tears. “I promise I’ll get you back” He said, resolved and went back into his room. He smiled at the note Papyrus left him. He figured that was how he got to his room. But he mostly focused on the blueprints neatly leaning against his bedside table. He grabbed the blueprints and his key and started walking out but stepped on a piece of paper. He picked it up seeing his crude drawing. As a last thought he brought it with him.  _

_ Sans entered his workroom and began pasting blueprints on his wall, he laid the newer ones on his desk. He dragged an old tool box out from under his desk and looked through it. Satisfied with the tools he had he began drawing a new blueprint.  _

_ “I’ll bring you back, I have to.” He said and began drawing.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve finally written Fluffy buns who I’ve avoided for this entire story because I had no clue how to write him. 
> 
> Also If your confused about how the Gaster memories work here’s an overview. I think of it like 3 stages of memory.
> 
> Stage 1’s are the ones who don’t remember at all. They tend to have had little to no memories of Gaster before he got erased. Monsters who vaguely knew of the royal scientist but never ‘knew’ him. Examples would probably be Monster Kid, and Bratty and Catty.
> 
> Stage 2’s are the inbetweeners. These monsters had some memories involving Gaster or have been influenced by him in second hand ways. Like Papyrus and Undyne. Both have been told stories about Gaster by Sans and Alphys respectively. After Gaster got erased Stage 2’s have deja vu moments or flashes of memory that have to be triggered. They don’t normally stay remembered minus a few exceptions. This may or may not come as a surprise but Asgore is actually a Stage 2 as well. This is because Asgore has always wanted to get to know his subjects and monsters working under him. When Gaster became royal scientist I’d like to think Asgore popped in periodically or had a talk with him as he was hired. Asgore is borderline Stage 3 because of the amount of time he most likely spent with Gaster.
> 
> And then Stage 3’s. We know quite a bit about these monsters from previous chapters. Sans and Alphys are the only Stage 3’s we know about so far. They have a significant amount of memories with Gaster and have been influenced by him first hand in many ways. This means that they retain more memory than most and ,while what they remember might fluctuate a bit, it mostly stays the same. They are aware of the fact that their memories are being ‘iffy’ which is why they sometimes have trouble searching for a memory that might have been there before but has faded, being replaced by another. 
> 
> Finally it’s rare for monsters to ‘up’ Stages. In others words a Stage 1 can not become a Stage 2. A Stage 2 can borderline a Stage 1 one but can’t fully cross over. On the other hand, it's fairly easy to regress Stages.
> 
> Hopefully this doesn’t make things more confusing, but as always, please comment any questions or if you see and grammar or spelling mistakes!


	17. Void of Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually got emotional writing this. But like I said last Chapter it feels amazing to write again. 
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter but I really wanted to stop there. 
> 
> All in all can I just say how crazy it is we're at 28,000 words and 131 kudos like OMG I don't know what to say. I'm having fun writing this and I'm glad so you guys are enjoying it!
> 
> Anyway! Hope you enjoy, and please comment any grammar or spelling mistakes you find!
> 
> edit:4/26/20

Sans took great care not to meet anyone else’s eyes. The memory began to fast forward. He cringed watching himself fall deeper and deeper into his work. He didn’t realize it then, but he was becoming just as obsessed with a project as Gaster was. He watched the blueprints that were crumpled-up and discarded pile-up at his feet. It hit even harder as the memory almost time-lapsed like a camera. 

He saw metal appear and become the dreaded box he was so captivated with. Every so often a knock would sound at his door, then the memory would slow-down just enough for them to hear his exhausted voice calling back another excuse for missing dinner. Sans was almost grateful for what it didn’t show. 

His visits to the junkyard picking-up metal, scouting around each corner to avoid Alphys. The break-downs he had the few times he went upstairs. Sans felt surrounded once again by the constant scratching of graphite on paper and the turning of pages. He saw the memory stop and cursed silently. 

He could almost feel the motherly glare Toriel was sending into his back and internally thanked her for trying to keep some sense of normality. He looked up knowing the memory to come would not be a happy one, and hoped that soon he could see good times. Sans sighed unhappily, drawing the attention of Frisk who glanced at him worriedly. 

* * *

_ Sans felt exhausted, his sleep schedule had been completely flipped-upside down this past week. He knew how bad his eating habits have gotten, how much more sleep he should be getting, but he had work to do. Work that he believed was more important than him. He looked at his waning pile of materials. He would have to make another trip to the dumpster soon. He had been procrastinating in case Alphys would be there. The one day they ran into each other Alphys began fretting over him like the doctor she was.  _

_ Sans knew he could ask her for help. Alphys would be more than happy to, in more ways than one.  _

_ That was the issue though, he caused this so he had to fix it.  _

_ Sans wasn’t stupid either, he knew Alphys would spend more time trying to fix his mental state rather than the machine. Because at this point Sans knew he was falling down a black hole. He knew that if he dropped the masks and the smiles people would be concerned but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was easy enough to play it off with the others but a select few knew when his jokes were meant to deflect concerns or when he was pushing a conversation elsewhere on purpose.  _

_ Alphys was one of those few, and he doesn’t have time to take a “mental health break” right now. Sans stared at one component for a few minutes, growing more and more frustrated with his lack of progress.  _

_ Days ago Sans realized just what he was dealing with.  _

_ Science that didn't exist, a place that didn’t exist.  _

_ He sighed, a monster that didn’t exist. Not anymore, but there wasn’t any dust, no evidence he died.  _

_ Sans had to keep hoping he was alive, dragged into the theoretical 4th dimension. No matter how hard hoping was becoming.  _

_ Sans heard a quiet knock on his door and broke out of his thoughts.  _

_ “Brother-” There was a small pause like they were contemplating asking the question, or contemplating whether it was even worth it.  _

_ “Dinner is ready” A statement and a question at the same time.  _

_ Sans sighed ‘already?’ He checked his clock. Sans didn’t want to leave he felt so close to a breakthrough. That if he stayed for one more hour than it would happen, he would crack the code to the void.  _

_ ‘But I’ve felt that way for a few days, haven't I?’ He sent a forlorned glance at the component. He knew staying here wasn’t going to do anymore good right now. Logically he knew he needed food and a break.  _

_ ‘Maybe it would be good for me to eat with Papyrus tonight?’ The thought of stopping made his stomach churn. Even if he didn’t technically have one.  _

_ He rubbed his skull with his hands “ya okay” He said plainly. Nothing special but the voice jumped several octaves at his response.  _

_ “Really! You’re coming!” Sans smiled. He nodded but chuckled at himself when he realized Papyrus couldn’t see him.  _

_ “Yep, just let me clean-up” He said standing.  _

_ There was a pause “okay, I’ll see you up there!” Sans froze. The tone had a slight question to it. Like a kid giving someone an incentive. Papyrus wasn’t saying he was excited, he was saying he’d be disappointed if he didn’t come. Like he didn’t believe Sans would come up, it was a statement.  _

_ He was going up to eat.  _

_ Sans rubbed his head again, ‘has it really been that long since I’ve eaten with him? He got so excited’ Sans looked at the door where they spoke through. It seemed more like a wall than a door these days.  _

_ Him not leaving, Papyrus not walking in.  _

_ He shook his head and found one of his ‘shortcuts’ to his room from the lab. He’d finally settled on ‘Shortcut’ as his term for what he did. ‘Rips’ sounded awkward and he decided it was too hard to explain jumping through rips of the time space continuum, because with a term like ‘rips’ comes the inevitable question of “rips through what?”. He’d decided he could pick whatever term he wanted since he was basically the first to have this new power. With new people, he could brush it off as some type of rare new magic.  _

_ Sans took one look in the mirror and was grateful he didn’t just walk through the front door. His shirt was rumpled and covered with splotches of grease and oil. His shorts were in about the same state. His face even had smudges and the bags under his sockets had bags. Papyrus would have flipped if he saw him like this. His brother had always been a clean freak not to mention a worry wart.  _

_ He didn’t want Papyrus to worry more than he already, it’s supposed to be his job to worry.  _

_ He was the older brother, but with the dynamic they have now any outsider might not even know they were brothers at all let alone him being the eldest.  _

_ He sighed thinking about their relationship as Sans washed off and threw on a new pair of clothes. Unfortunately, nothing could be done about his tired eyes. He looked in the mirror smoothing-out his T-shirt and practiced a lazy smile. He forced his eye-lights to burn brighter so he didn’t give anything away. Feeling like he wouldn’t give his brother a heart attack he started downstairs. His smile felt wrong but he knew from experience it didn’t look that way. Either way nothing would give it away more than if he tweaked it in plain sight.  _

_ “Hey bro” He greeted casually and Papyrus’ head jerked towards him.  _

_ “Hello Brother! Guess what I made for dinner!” Sans chuckled at his brother's enthusiasm.  _

_ “No clue bro” Sans lied. He knew exactly what Papyrus made, he just wondered if it was edible this time.  _

_ “No Sans! You have to guess!” Sans chuckled.  _

_ “Fine um… you made greasy burgers and fries” Sans plopped down into his usual chair. Usual when he ate upstairs. Papyrus gave him a disgusted but knowing look.  _

_ “of course not! I don't know how you can eat so much greasy food” Sans barked a laugh.  _

_ “Hey don’t forget Coal used to make burgers all the time for us” Papyrus had been on a ‘health kick’ lately and if he told Coal about it Papyrus would be the one getting kicked. Sans chuckled at his own mental joke. He wanted to get fit so he could join the royal guard, apparently that meant no Grillby’s. Sans didn’t know if Papyrus had said anything to Undyne about his dream. In most cases, it’d be a good idea to take advantage of a relationship like that. On the other hand, Sans would understand if he hadn’t, besides the obviously nerve racking part of it, Undyne was his friend and Papyrus was too kind hearted to take advantage of someone like that and would do anything to make sure he didn’t give off that impression. Sans realized he wouldn’t have either, he could think about it, but if the opportunity came he wouldn’t be able to do it.  _

_ “I swear you avoid Grillby’s like it’s on fire” He left his sentence open ended, enjoying the show of Papyrus slowly comprehending his words.  _

_ “Oh my god you're getting worse” He sighed dropping 2 plates of steaming spaghetti in front of them both as he sat down.  _

_ “Bon appetit” Papyrus said and Sans smirked mischievously. Just as he began to speak Papyrus’ head jerked up at the joke he unconsciously set up.  _

_ “Don’t you mean  _ **_bone appetit_ ** _ ” Papyrus scowled.  _

_ “Sans I didn’t invite you up here to bombard me with. PUNS” He yelled and Sans felt himself laugh.  _

_ “Invite me? Last I checked I lived here too” Sans retorted. _

_ A sense of peace settled over him as he ate with his brother and he marveled briefly how much Papyrus could loosen him up. Maybe their relationship wasn’t as lost as he’d thought. As the dinner progressed Sans felt his fake smile ease and realized just how much he missed his brother.  _

_ The Spaghetti was edible. The noodles were over cooked and there was a weird taste to the pasta sauce but Sans ate every bite much to his stomach's contempt. They chatted away and Sans started to feel normal again, even though he felt a weight in his chest when the conversation would dull for a moment. Even though the guilt of not working to bring Gaster back every second pulled him down. But, The guilt of letting down his family was almost as bad. He let himself have some time with his brother and pretended nothing ever happened. A sense of normalcy settled and Sans ignored the feeling in his gut telling him this would have to end eventually.  _

_ All too soon Dinner was done, plates were washed, and there was no more reason for him to stay upstairs.  _

_ “Welp guess I should get back to work” Sans sighed and chuckled but his heart wasn’t in it.  _

_ He turned to the door “Do you have to?” Papyrus asked quietly. Maybe he wasn’t meant to hear it, either way he did and Sans didn’t think far enough ahead not to reply.  _

_ “Well yeah, course I do” Sans replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  _

_ Papyrus paused “Why?” He asked louder. Sans didn’t have an answer off the bat. Telling him about Gaster would confuse him and he really didn’t want to get into a conversation about all ‘that’.  _

_ “It’s my job” Sans said, not a complete lie. Sans wanted to leave the conversation, how could he possibly explain to someone the guilt, the need to keep working. He can’t explain it to Alphys and she remembers him but Papyrus…. It wasn’t something he needed to have in his head. Nothing he needed to worry about.  _

_ “But it’s not!” Papyrus yelled and Sans flinched.  _

_ “You don’t even go to the lab anymore! Alphys called me saying she was worried and I am too!” Papyrus took a step forward not wanting to give up his point.  _

_ “You shouldn’t worry about me. I'm fine. This is something I have to do” Sans said emotionlessly. The energy felt zapped from the room and Papyrus stared at him and lowered his volume. Papyrus gave Sans a look that made Sans’ stomach flip on itself. It accentuated his height, Papyrus now a good foot or so taller than Sans.  _

_ “If I- started not eating, not talking, only working on my puzzles. Could you just  _ **_‘stop’_ ** _ worrying about me” Papyrus said and looked at him. Looked through Sans as his words shot him like bullets. Sans knew the trap he was in.  _

_ “I’m your big brother…. It’s different” A peaty excuse and both knew it. Sans didn’t make eye contact as he talked. Papyrus didn’t understand, It was Sans’ job to make it so that never happened. In the end, Papyrus lost the will to fight and Sans felt more defeated than ever before. Nobody won that argument and that was the most serious fight they’ve ever had. Often the two brothers would ‘play’ fight, like Papyrus and Sans’ puns.  _

_ Even the ‘Lazybones’ argument was in good fun.  _

_ They both knew that, but those fights often left off with an air of playful chaos.  _

_ This fight left the air stagnant and stuffy, concern filled every corner of the room. Papyrus muttered an okay, his voice quieter than it had ever been. He sent one more pained look before retreating to the kitchen. Sans stood in place though, staring at the place Papyrus stood moments ago. He felt like the world was crashing down on him. ‘Big Brother’ He thought the word with distaste.  _

_ ‘He deserves better’ an apology lingered on his teeth but he never made a move to the kitchen. He walked out the door and headed to his workshop on auto pilot. Sans didn’t notice himself sitting on the chair until he was knee deep in blueprints again. He dropped his head in his hands. “What do I do?” He mumbled. His voice was muffled by his palms, he felt his eye sockets grow heavy with tears that he refused to shed.  _

_ “PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Sans yelled. He didn’t know who he was yelling at, maybe Gaster. But to anyone listening, each word rolled with waves of desperation, guilt, and heartbreak.  _

_ The sentence rang with sadness.  _

_ Even a hint at anger to the friend that left him behind with no direction. Sans choked down a sob, feeling more confused than ever before.  _

_ Feeling like every choice he made was the wrong one.  _

_ He tried to push everything down but his emotions overwhelmed him. He tried burying himself in his work. To lose himself in the numbers and algorithms. Normally, science is where he felt at home.  _

_ A world of concrete laws in a mess of unpredictable emotions. Today, however, he’d never felt more estranged. No matter what he did waves of guilt crashed into him. Guilt for working and not being a good brother.  _

_ Being the brother Papyrus deserved.  _

_ A brother Sans could never be.  _

_ When he stopped the guilt of not doing everything in power to help, burdened him. Because the thoughts were ingrained in his head. That it’s his fault and the only reason he’s alive right now was to bring Gaster back. Everything left him exhausted and incapable of doing anything. Giving up, he left the room and shut and locked the door.  _

_ He didn’t want to go inside and face the failures he had made as a brother, but the workshop felt just as sickening. Now, even the emptiness of the void began to sound enticing. Complete sensory deprivation. Sans found a rip and walked in no destination in mind, but unknowingly his soul called out for comfort and warmth. He appeared in the snow next to a brick building, Sans didn’t bother to check which one. He looked to be in an alley but that’s all he saw before his head dropped to his knees and he lost his will to hold his emotions back. Even though he was out of the void, he felt the dark consume him as he leaned against the cold wall and felt the snow under him. Before he was completely lost, Sans saw a comforting familiar face peek through.  _

_ He felt warm arms surround him and he gave in clutching them like a lifeline as he was drowning.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you noticed the schedule has basically become every other Saturday cause school and stuff. 
> 
> Thanks for understanding! and Thanks for reading!


	18. Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where someone might finally be able to break the cycle Sans is stuck in. Or at least slow it down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We broke 30,000 words!!!
> 
> edit:4/26/20

_ Time passed and Sans slowly began to regain his composure and gathered himself enough to look to his savior. He was met with the soft glow of Grillby’s face, concerned and unsure. Sans mumbled an apology and Grillby looked horrified. Before he even knew what was happening he was being dragged into Grillby’s restaurant and sat on a stool up front. Grillby disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of ketchup and hot burger. Soon he felt the warmth of his friend settle next to him.  _

_ “Do you want to talk?” Grillby asked but Sans focused on the burger, his appetite was completely gone.  _

_ “Only if you want to” Grillby added. Sans looked up at him, skull somehow stained with the streams of tears, he had stopped crying but still felt the pressure in his throat.  _

_ “The burger?” Sans said knowing full well that wasn’t what he was referring to.  _

_ “That's not- I mean that too, don’t force yourself to eat it” Grillby apparently decided not to push the subject. Little did he know that was exactly what he needed to do. They sat in silence as Sans tried desperately to piece his mask together and Grillby piecing together his next sentence.  _

_ “I’m fine Grillbz” Sans finished first, a tired but lazy smile in place perfectly. Almost hiding how he broke down in Grillby’s arms. Grillby was shaking from both anger and fear for his friend. Grillby reached over and hugged him. Sans stiffened and Grillby felt it, not dropping the hug. “C’mon Grillbz I’m fine” This time Grillby heard it when Sans’ voice cracked slightly. Sans was torn between asking for help or pushing it away. He felt the tears before they came and he closed his eyes, hoping to block them out.  _

_ “You’re not okay Sans, please don’t hide it from me” That perfectly placed smile saddened Grillby almost as much as the actual event. It was practiced, and put on so easily. Honestly, Grillby was terrified.  _

_ He hadn’t seen Sans in weeks. That day he had found Sans outside hiccuping and curled into a ball, his back was pressed against the wall of the restaurant. Only he didn’t know it was Sans at first. To Grillby, Sans had been an ever smiling monster.  _

_ A rock for Papyrus, a determined friend, someone who turned negatives into positives as easy as breathing. Maybe that’s why the monster crying, looking so defeated, didn’t register to him as Sans.  _

_ He went to check on them, not able to ignore someone like that, but the blue jacket tipped him off and sent him running. Grillby ran to his friend who looked so lost.  _

_ So broken and ...  _

**_hopeless_ ** _.  _

_ And in that alley, Grillby thought he was going to see a monster fall down. Top that feeling with knowledge that the monster was his friend….  _

_ Yeah, Grillby was terrified.  _

_ He did everything hoping to bring Sans back from whatever corner of his mind he was trapped in. Sans shook with sobs and Grillby’s words fell on deaf ears. Finally Sans started to come around and become more aware. Grillby didn’t know what to do at that moment, the only other time he’d seen Sans’ break-down was when Papyrus got hurt.  _

_ He wasn’t even phased about his eye. Grillby couldn’t help but think that what caused this had been a long time coming. A long time of whittling down one of the strongest monsters he knew. When Sans’ first words were “sorry'' Grillby was even more worried and immediately dragged him into the restaurant.  _

_ Now Grillby focused on the feeling of Sans pressed up against him. He was weakly pushing away, but Sans was obviously physically and emotionally drained. Sans began shaking from the effort of holding tears in.  _

_ “please Grillby” Sans insisted, because staying in this hug was breaking him down, and breaking his walls down. After so long of hearing his nickname having Sans call him “Grillby” shook him. Soon Sans relented falling into the hug and a few tears leaked slowly, not the uncontrollable flood from before but only small drops that trickled down his face. Only then did Grillby let go “Talk to me” He said.  _

_ ‘Please’ He added mentally not saying it out loud but letting the word display clearly on his face. Sans looked at him conflicted.  _

_ “You can’t understand, It barely makes sense to me” Sans laughed humorlessly. It scared Grillby even more, it was a broken laugh he’d never heard before, but he stayed determined.  _

_ “Try me” Grillby brought himself a can of soda and pushed the ketchup bottle closer to Sans.  _

_ An unspoken sentence ‘I’m prepared to stay here until you do, and you're not leaving either’. Sans heard it loud and clear. Sans wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.  _

_ “Do you… Do you remember me getting that internship at the lab?” Grillby nodded slightly. “Vaguely” Grillby said, never putting much thought into the event. Sans looked up at him surprised.  _

_ “I-I worked there for a while, it became more than an internship to me.” Grillby listened carefully. It seemed like a story that was hard to tell and Grillby realized that if whatever problem that caused this started back then…. He’d be far out of his element. Sans realized as he started his tale that he has never told it before, besides to Alphys. That was directly after what happened when nothing had really seemed real yet.  _

_ “We all become friends and Gaster was my mentor too” Sans froze when he noticed he said his name. He hesitantly looked to the elemental next to him, but Grillby never really knew Gaster in the first place. There would be no ‘empty’ memories. His name felt foriegn, it was something that almost felt wrong to say. Sans continued, his voice breaking at the hardest part, the part he hadn’t even told to Alphys because with her he never needed to.  _

_ Alphys saw the destruction and pieced it together. She didn’t understand it all, Sans had never been able to vocalize all that happened.  _

_ Until now he figured.  _

_ “The project we worked on though, he-he tried to do it on his own” Sans felt tears and he was sick of crying.  _

_ “It exploded…” Grillby gasped involuntarily.  _

_ “I was next to him- I was right there-” Sans choked.  _

_ He pushed me out and- stars it’s all my fault” Grillby hugged Sans again who had his skull in his hand covering his tears.  _

_ “It’s not your fault Sans-” Grillby started but Sans cut him off.  _

_ “It is! I should have stopped him. I should have done something, noticed him getting obsessed sooner. And I’m trying to bring him back but now- now I’m failing Papyrus and I don’t know what to do.” Sans was yelling into his hands and Grillby was at a loss. He knew very little of the events he was being told about, like why Sans believed he could bring a dead monster back, but he didn’t want to push for more information. That and he had the distinct feeling he already knew more than anyone else.  _

_ “You aren’t failing Papyrus” He said matter of factly.  _

_ Sans scoffed and sniffed “sure” he replied sarcastically, his voice watery.  _

_ “Sans you can’t fail him. You still worry about him right, and care about him?”  _

_ Sans looked up “Of course” Sans said it was absurd for the answer to be anything else.  _

_ In all honesty, it was. Papyrus was Sans’ sunshine, the only family he had left, but it was more than that.  _

_ Grillby smiled “Then you aren't failing him. But...Sans, how long do you work on bringing your friend back?”. Sans looked confused but soon caught on, he looked down not wanting to admit it. Grillby cringed, that was enough of an answer for him.  _

_ “You talked about not noticing the signs of him getting obsessed but look at yourself for a second” Grillby sounded genuinely concerned and he let it bleed into his voice.  _

_ “You're working constantly and knowing you, you aren't eating or drinking or taking care of yourself at all” Grillby tried to push his point.  _

_ “I have to Grillbz, I’m the only one who can bring him back!” Sans yelled frustrated at nothing but his situation. Grillby sighed and looked down contemplating with himself.  _

_ “Sometimes- sometimes you have to accept that- that their gone Sans.” Grillby looked up with shiny eyes, he was hoping that Sans would understand. His eyes pleaded to him, so he would stop doing this to himself. Grillby couldn’t bear to see Sans broken down like this, it wasn’t healthy for him to continue. Grillby found himself frustrated that Sans couldn’t see how it was affecting the monsters around him. Hell, he only saw it for half a day and it was heartbreaking. He could imagine how Papyrus was handling it. Sans finally looked at Grillby, He looked so understanding that caught Sans off guard. He saw a hint of recognition and experience in his eyes as he talked. The entire time Sans had known Grillby, he never knew of anything that would awaken such a look from him. Sans thought of before he’d met him and had the sudden realization he never asked about Grillby’s mom. It always seemed like a topic off boundaries and it never seemed odd his mom wasn’t ever around. Sans listened to his words sifting through and finding them coated with Grillby’s own grief.  _

_ “And then you move on, take care of what's left and treasure it” Sans knew what he had to do but tears still hadn’t stopped.  _

_ “I can’t leave him…” Sans’ posture dipped. All his work, he knew it was hurting him but, he had to be close, he just had to be.  _

_ “You aren’t going to. But, would he want you to leave Papyrus?” Sans sobbed one last time. He couldn’t accept he was gone but Grillby opened a door that logic could finally break through to him. He had no proof Gaster was even still alive, he felt his resolve crumble and he nodded weakly before being engulfed in a warm hug once again. And if Sans felt tears on his back he said nothing, and if Grillby felt his friend tremble he wouldn’t comment on it.  _

  
  
  


_ The two sat eating late at night. Talking about little things trying to no avail to disperse the sad atmosphere hanging above them both. Briefly Sans wondered if he should ask about Grillby’s mom but decided today was not the day. If there would ever be a day to ask about it, Afterall Sans had a basic idea about what happened. It was never easy for older monsters to suddenly never get to see the sun or the stars again. The mood never completely left but Sans felt good reconnecting with his friend, Papyrus wasn’t the only one he’d been neglecting as he worked.  _

_ Sans checked his phone and saw a missed call from Papyrus. He jumped up suddenly.  _

_ “Oh jeez Papyrus called me, he’s probably worried, I should go” Grillby chuckled as Sans panicked to leave.  _

_ “Hey hold up a sec” Grillby walked into the back and came out with a take-out box. He laughed seeing Sans literally jumping from foot to foot anxious to leave. He saw the box and sent a questioning look to the fire elemental.  _

_ “Extra food, make sure you eat it” He said sternly and handed him the box and Sans felt the warmth sink into his finger tips.  _

_ He stared at the box and then looked at his friend “Thanks Grillbz” He said smiling lightly.  _

_ “No problem we’ve got plenty of extra back there” Grillby waved it off.  _

_ Sans shook his head “No... thanks” Sans said again sincerely.  _

_ Grillby’s face softened and he nodded “I’m always here Sans, And don’t forget your promise.” He smiled warmly and Sans returned it “Keep making food like this and it won’t be hard to keep” He quipped before heading out the door like normal before using the alley to shortcut into the living room. He came to the realization he’d never seen that rip before yet he ended up there. ‘Good it happened I guess’ Sans commented.  _

_ “Pap!” He yelled walking to the fridge and putting the leftovers in the fridge. He felt the floor leave him and without warning he was brought into a hug.  _

_ “ _ **_Bone-crushing_ ** _ welcome home isn’t it” Sans joked almost naturally.  _

_ “Not now” Papyrus mumbled into the back of his jacket and Sans’ smile dimmed.  _

_ “Hey it’s okay bro” Sans turned around with some struggle, Papyrus had an iron grip on him, and hugged back.  _

_ “I thought you- you were- and I couldn’t- but I heard you-” Papyrus couldn’t get a sentence out in his distress.  _

_ “I’m okay. It’s okay” Sans repeated. He sat comforting Papyrus and cursed his scatterbrained skull for not thinking of leaving a note. Especially after how things ended before he left. At that moment he decided Papyrus’ happiness was what was important. He tucked Papyrus in for the first time in weeks and then went down to his workshop. Standing at the top of the stairs Sans felt the stuffy atmosphere of the room, it was unsettling. He’d never noticed how cramped the room felt until now. The lights were bright but the room definitely wasn’t. He walked down and with some difficulty put the blueprints in a neat pile in a drawer. He threw away the crumpled paper on the ground, finally Sans brought a tarp over to the machine he had relentlessly worked on.  _

_ “I’m sorry…” He said hoping Gaster could hear him before he dropped the tarp over the machine. He left the room before he could change his mind and shortcutted to his room. He flopped onto the bed and hissed at the false empty feeling in his chest.  _

_ “Now what?” he said out loud and Grillby’s words rang in his head  _

**_“And then you move on, take care of what's left and treasure it”_ **

_ Sans sighed.  _

_ I’m gonna be the brother you deserve Papyrus” Sans said but part of his mind still doubted he could ever get there. Said he was still too lazy, that he would never be enough. Bad habits can’t be broken in one night afterall.  _

_ But Sans would try anyway because what else can he do.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grillby deserves an award. Like a "best best friend ever" award or something like that


	19. Giftmas Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place a little bit after Chapter 7 - Drink Ketchup and Keep on Winking
> 
> Papyrus seems to have forgotten anything bad happened in the first place and asks to go shopping for Giftmas presents. Unfortunately Sans is still nervous about shopping after what happened last time. Its hard to forget seeing your little brother hurt not to mention he's forced to remember it anytime he closes the wrong eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Chapter I wanted to add a while ago but I could never get it to fit so it was left as an unfinished draft. I ended up polishing it up and finishing it so enjoy!
> 
> Happy (late) Holidays everyone!
> 
> (Pst.....hey...over here..check out the bottom note for Bonus part of chapter...)
> 
> edit:4/26/20

“Sans! Wake up!” Sans blinked his eyes open slowly, wincing slightly at the light coming in. Papyrus was jumping up and down on the couch trying to shake Sans awake. It’s been some time since the bullies attacked them. Papyrus had been growing increasingly restless. Coal ordered Papyrus to rest, when that didn’t work Sans was put in charge of watching him. 

“Let's do something!” Papyrus shook Sans by his shoulders like a rag doll. 

“I’m fine being a lazy bones” Sans replied lazily. 

“You’ve already used that one!” The smaller skeleton groaned. Sans smiled and stood up sitting at eye level with his younger brother who was standing on the couch. 

“Fine what are we doing” Sans smiled at his brother. Papyrus was beaming, the incident looked to be forgotten as he smiled. Because of Grillby’s healing magic, there weren't any marks on his skull. You’d never know it happened in the first place. But Sans would never forget, he couldn’t forget the crack as his brother's skull hit hard rock. The panic that washed over him seeing his energetic brother lying lifeless on the ground. Papyrus was too positive to focus on it though, too excited to move on and see what life had in store for him. So Sans was moving past it too.

Papyrus was finally off of house arrest. 

“We should go shopping!” Papyrus’ eyes sparkled, excited to be productive and moving. It should have been a logical request, it was almost Giftmas after all, but the words sent a shiver up Sans’ spine. The entire fight started when they went shopping. Sans couldn’t but wonder if they were waiting for them. Waiting to take revenge for Sans’ attacks. His reaction must have been visible, Papyrus looked at him concerned and called his but Sans was stuck in his own head. Thinking about all the bad things that could happen to them, to him, if they went. 

Soon enough Grillby was in his face yelling at him “Sans! Sans look at me!”. Fire like tears welled up in his eyes barely visible against his burning skin. 

“What’s-” Sans could barely finish before Grillby and Papyrus hit him with a hug. 

“Geez what’s up” Sans laughed nervously. 

Grillby was the first to respond “For a second your eye lights… they- they were gone and I thought-” Grillby took a deep breath and continued 

“I thought that both your eyes were-” Sans realized the rest of the sentence and ran a hand up the front of his skull. 

“I’m sorry for the scare but it’s kinda a normal thing for us… i think” It was always normal for him anyway. Almost like a surprise factor. 

“That and you being totally clocked-out didn’t help at all!” Grillby hit him in the arm but Sans saw the relief behind the fake anger.

Grillby might have taken his lost eye harder than Sans himself. He thought it was because his magic wasn’t good enough or that he did a bad job healing. Even though Sans tried hard to convince him otherwise it never seemed to work. Another scare wasn’t what he needed right now. 

Papyrus interrupted the quiet “So can we go shopping now!” Sans cringed and Grillby’s head flipped to Sans so fast he should have gotten whiplash. A look of realization crossed his face. 

“I-I don’t know Pap maybe…” Grillby discreetly put a hand on Sans shoulder 

“If you do go I’ll come with.” He said resolutely and Sans breathed a little more. It didn’t quench his fear completely but it eased it knowing his friend would come too. Not to mention that they couldn’t live the rest of their lives without having to go shopping at some point. Papyrus’ face was a forced neutral, trying not to get excited or disappointed yet. Sans nodded and breathed an okay. Papyrus jumped up in excitement and began listing off the things they needed to get ranging from food to presents.

Not long after the two twelve year olds were walking through Snowdin to the store, a nine year old Papyrus running ahead. Grillby noticed how Sans’ eye lights flashed from side to side and how he unconsciously reached for Papyrus when he got a little farther ahead then Sans would have liked. Grillby did what he could and it was easy to see Sans was grateful for it. They shopped for food and ingredients for the perfect Giftmas dinner according to Papyrus, and a mix of cinnamon bunnies and veggies for Santa. Eventually all that was left was Giftmas presents. Sans had calmed down enough that he was fully enjoying the outing, they searched for a Giftmas present for Coal each discreetly looking at presents for the others in the group. When Sans found a bright pair of red boots Papyrus would adore he signaled Grillby to watch Papyrus and snuck off to buy them, not without a surprised look for Grillby first. 

Sans checked the price of the boots and was pleased to see he had enough money for them. He walked up to the counter and bought them from the lady. She went on about her boys and how sweet he was to buy a present for his brother. Sans didn’t see anything abnormal about it though. He walked a little bit and tried to hide the boots in the bag completely. He frowned realizing he would need another bag to put on top of the boots in order to cover them. He turned to go back into the store when he saw them. They were checking out at the same desk, he tried to convince himself it wasn’t the case. What were the chances all three of them were shopping at the same store? But Sans recognized the leader's purple fur and the boots he wore, the other snow white bunnies behind him. He remembered what their fur looked like stained with dirt from a battle.

Sans froze in place staring, he urged his reflexes to pop-up like in the fight, make him move or run. But Sans stayed frozen shaking hand gripping Papyrus’ present. The boys turned around and saw him almost immediately, the two behind quickly ran farther into the store while the purple bunny and Sans stood in place. The bunny moved forward and Sans suddenly got his wits about him to step back, he turned to run but... 

“Wait!”. 

Sans followed the request, something about the desperation in his voice hit him, Sans turned around and saw his foes face light with surprise. It was a legitimate response, Sans was surprised at his own actions. 

“Listen I- I’m sorry. We never meant to- to hurt him, we just…” He trailed off and Sans felt rage come but he pushed it down. 

“Can you forgive me?” He asked hopefully and Sans held his breath. Something about the action of asking for forgiveness made Sans feel obligated to forgive him, to shake hands and say it was all in the past. It’s what Papyrus would have done, in a heartbeat he would have said yes. Sans though, he didn’t think he was at that point and it made his heart twinge. He wondered if it made him a bad person, that he wasn’t ready to forgive. 

“I’m sorry but..” Sans turned to walk away but stopped his sentence.

He realized he shouldn’t be sorry. He wasn’t the one who made fun of his brother, who hurt him, who made him sit in a bed for a week from an injury to his skull. He felt his rage boil up again. “You know what, forget that.” Sans said and turned around, the bunny jumped at his change of mood. 

“Forgiveness has to be earned and all of the three times I’ve seen you you’ve done nothing to earn it” Sans didn’t know where his sudden rush of confidence came from but all he knew was that at that moment he felt untouchable. 

“We didn’t mean to hurt him I swear!” Sans scowled “then what did you mean to do” Sans’ question was met with silence. 

“Maybe one day in the future we could talk but right now I don’t want to see you near me or my brother again and if I do, I won’t hesitate to protect him” Referring to his mystery attack he summoned. The bunny had the sense to look down, ashamed, and Sans began to walk away present in hand. 

“Is he- okay?” Asked the small voice. Sans almost punched him then and there but he knew Papyrus wouldn’t approve. How dare he ask him that when he’s the reason he was hurt in the first place! 

Instead Sans let his words do the job for him, “He will be without you around” Sans said simply resisting the urge to look at his face as Sans walked away. He had a brief thought of being mean but it was quickly washed away by a sense of justice that finally he was put in his place.

He met up with Grillby and Papyrus both sending him questions about what took him so long. Along the way he’d found another bag to cover the boots. Papyrus asked once or twice where he went eyeing the bag in hand tied shut in order to keep him from peeking. He quietly told Grillby that he wanted to talk later and they continued on with the day.

At night, after Papyrus was asleep Sans and Grillby wrapped the presents they could in each other's company. 

“So he just apologized?” Grillby asked having been mostly caught up about the situation. 

“Yep” Sans said, setting another gift in the pile to be delivered to the Snowdin Giftmas tree tomorrow. Grillby sat back after he finished the last gift. 

“Wow… sounds like you told him off good” Grillby smiled. 

“If anything, maybe this’ll all keep him from doing it to other kids” Grillby continued. 

“No big brother needs to hear that” Sans winced but shook his head. 

“It’s all over now though. Papyrus is happy and safe. We should focus on Giftmas” Sans said enthusiastically. 

Grillby shook his head fondly “It’s in these moments you can really tell you’re brothers” Sans grinned mischievously. 

“What’s that supposed to mean!” Sans lightly punched his friend and before long they were both laughing. 

Coal walked in the room “Boys quiet! You’ll wake up Papyrus!” Hiding their giggles both boys apologized and continued their night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:
> 
> Grillby was trying to keep Papyrus' focus but even for a nine year old Papyrus' attention span was that of a fly. Grillby couldn't deny he was smart though, looking at whatever random machine he could find and trying to find out how it worked. He was fascinated by anything with a hinge or a moving part.  
> "Where's Sans?" Papyrus asked suddenly.  
> "Somewhere" Grillby said plainly not wanting to give away the fact he was buying a present for him. Papyrus hummed and kept looking at things. All Grillby could think about was how weird this kid was.
> 
> -Later-
> 
> Grillby and Papyrus had been sitting and waiting for Sans. He was taking forever and Grillby was beginning to get worried.  
> "Don't worry Sans is super strong. Nothing can beat him" Grillby smiled and nodded along.  
> "I'm just surprised he went off on his own in the first place" Grillby mumbled but Papyrus heard and perked up.  
> "I know! This has all gone way better than I thought it would!" Papyrus blurted but covered his mouth. "What do you mean by that?" Grillby questioned.  
> "My brother has been kinda nervous. I thought if we went back to the store he'd see nothing was wrong and it would all be fine again" Papyrus said and Grillby stared.  
> "wow" He said.  
> The conversation moved on but Grillby kept looking back at how observant Papyrus was. Eventually, Sans came back. He had a look of complete victory on his face. Like he'd just faced a giant and won. And even as he interrogated his best friend and he was told he needed to talk later. Grillby thought this was exactly what he needed. Brothers know best he supposed.


	20. Circular Motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Part 3 is well under way!  
> Don't forget the bottom notes and Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> edit: 4/26/20

Sans watched his younger self try to fall asleep. Watched himself toss and turn bundling the sheets up even more as a result. The others took this as an intermission of some sort. Alphys and Undyne talked with Toriel and Frisk. Alphys shot looks at Sans who continued to watch the repetitive fight. Sans briefly thought that Alphys knew the mindset he was in. Papyrus was jumping in and out of the conversation. Switching between keeping up appearances and his own concerned looks. 

Looks that were slowly losing their meaning. 

It seemed like any memory brought them and Sans had started to build up an immunity. He sighed almost feeling the frustration his past self had in this moment. Eventually he gave up, staring at the ceiling left with nothing more than sounds of night in the underground. That and his thoughts. Sans laid back the same way staring at the empty top of the room. 

He tried looking into the white that was too white, but started to get a headache and sat back up. Eventually his past self started to fall asleep, not peacefully but still, it was sleep. 

Sans turned to the others and smiled at Frisk who was watching him. They walked over as Sans got up and brushed his shorts straight. 

“Are you okay?” They asked sincerely. 

Sans sighed “yeah, just getting kinda tired of that question”. 

Frisk looked down “sorry” they said quietly. 

“Not your fault it’s just, this is why I didn’t want my memories shown in the first place. Don’t need you guys looking at me differently. Not to mention its digging up old feelings I barely managed to bury.” Sans looked back at the screen but Frisk forced his attention back to them. 

“No one will think any less of you!” Frisk said, determined. 

“Maybe not less but, definitely not the same.“ Frisk looked at him trying to keep the concern off their face for his sake. Sans shook his skull like it would shake the ideas and thoughts out of it. “Nothin’ we need to be thinking about now, and don’t you start making sad faces...” Frisk hid a smile, they were familiar with his tone of voice. 

“... I  **marrowly** escaped the last group hug. We don't need to trigger another one” Frisk barked a laugh and Sans smiled before walking back to the group. He walked back to the group sending glances to the memory. He was dreading the memories to come. If the last ones had proven anything it’s that no subject was left untouched, not if it left some effect on him. Sans sighed and motioned Frisk to follow him.

* * *

_ Sans heard his alarm go off in the morning, something he'd forgotten about. It took time before Sans put together what happened last night. For him it seemed like that short time lasted days. The hours of emotional talks left him drained mentally. He sat staring at his white ceiling that was too bright at the moment as he heard a shuffle from the room next door. His alarm clock droned behind him, a background to the war in his head.  _

_ Sans had promised himself he'd be a better brother. That meant getting up, maybe surprising Papyrus and telling him he was done with the project. Maybe with science altogether, now they were a constant reminder of how he was just to slow, how he’ll never live up to him. Sans closed his eyes holding on to his last moments of peace.  _

_ Even so, Another part of him dreaded the day. Dreaded having to get up and face his brother, his friend. Once Sans started contemplating whether he had a purpose, he realized his moment of peace had passed. Closing his eyes may block out the world but it can't block out your mind. Sans heard a quiet gasp and noted that the alarm clock had been turned off. Sans pretended to just be waking up, he opened his eyes and saw his younger brother next to the bed.  _

_ "hey bro what's up?" Sans said his voice was still groggy from sleep even though he'd woken up a while ago.  _

_ "It's just you're here, I mean in bed! And not in the basement!" Papyrus struggled to convey his true meaning but Sans understood. His head screamed guilty sentences at him. This never should have to be a surprise. Sans plastered on a lazy smile and blew off the comment on the outside. He vaguely remarked about breakfast causing Papyrus to rush down stairs and cook "a feast". Sans hung back, his insides churning at the conversation. His alarm clock was turned off by Papyrus no doubt. It begged the question why it was active in the first place. It was set to go off every morning so why hadn't Papyrus unplugged it? Why go to his room every morning to shut off an alarm you could turn off for good? The answer slapped him in the face not 5 seconds later.  _

_ Papyrus missed him. His eye sockets started watering at the thought but he pushed it back and walked downstairs. _

_ Sans plopped onto his chair both arms on the table. A pose that conveyed nothing more than laziness and apathy.  _

_ “Are you okay brother?” Papyrus asked, flipping a pancake that looked suspiciously like noodles squished together.  _

_ “Ya I’m fine bro. Just got a lotta sleep to catch-up on'' Sans yawned proving his point to himself. Papyrus paused “Does that mean?” Papyrus left the question opened-ending afraid of getting an answer.  _

_ “Yeah it does, I’m hanging-up my lab coat” Sans said and Papyrus beamed.  _

_ “Really! I- I mean you don’t have to give up science but this is great!” Papyrus failed to control his excitement and picked Sans up, twirling him. Sans squeaked in surprise at the movement before something clicked in his mind.  _

_ “Papyrus what the hell!” Papyrus stopped spinning and looked at his older brother, confused and slightly guilty.  _

_ “What's wrong?” He answered innocently. _

_ Sans huffed at the question “Process Pap, You're holding me straight in front of you” Sans paused and continued when Papyrus still didn’t understand.  _

_ “You’re holding me Straight In Front of You and My Feet Can’t Touch the Ground!” Sans said exasperated. Papyrus giggled when he caught on.  _

_ “I have been training with Undyne” He put Sans down as he grumbled about “how that wasn’t the issue” and smiled proudly. Sans caught a laugh seeing the younger skeletons pose. Hands on his hips and Red scarf blowing in the wind… that shouldn’t exist. Sans briefly looked for a source of wind before he noticed the scarf had a faint blue tip to it. Clever way to use magic, funny, but clever nonetheless. Sans turned around to the ‘pancakes’ and made sure they weren't burning.  _

_ “Like more than just cooking?” Sans noticed the coffee maker was full and filled a mug sighing gratefully at the taste of caffeine and took the food off the heat.  _

_ Papyrus smiled “Yeah, she says I have potential Sans! Your welcome by the way” Papyrus added in reference to the coffee. Sans hummed in a thank you.  _

_ “Shes gonna train me to join the royal guard!” Sans briefly choked on his coffee at the line. It was so sudden and not at all what he expected.  _

_ “That’s... cool” he said after his coughing was under control. Papyrus was too excited to notice his response. Sans smiled pushing back a grimace.  _

_ “Speaking of Undyne I should head over for training today! I’m almost late for being early! Bye brother!” Papyrus raced out the door leaving Sans dumbfounded.  _

_ “Royal Guard huh” Sans said his voice wobbly. There was nothing he wanted more than for Papyrus to achieve his childhood dream but…  _

**_“P-Please leave my brother and I alone and we will be on our w-way”_ ** _... Sans shuttered at the memory. The fight, the moment he thought he’d lost him. Sans set the coffee down not trusting his hands to hold the cup. The royal guard was dangerous, ruthless. Papyrus would need to be okay with hurting, even killing, another living thing to survive there. Sans walked backwards into the chair behind him, forcing himself to sit down. Sans knew his brother and if there’s one thing he’s proved it’s that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Not if he doesn’t have to. His attacks have no intent even in the worst of situations.  _

**_Papyrus would rather die than kill_ ** _.  _

_ Sans’ phone rang breaking him out of his thoughts. He shook his head as he picked it up ‘whats the chances a human would even fall down. One hasn’t come for years’ He thought looking at the number attempting to rid his brain of those thoughts. He picked up the phone and noted that it’s been a few minutes. Time flies when you're stuck in your head.  _

_ “Hey bro what’s up? You at Undyne’s already?” Sans asked but was surprised to hear a different, but still familiar, voice on the other end.  _

_ “Sans?”  _

_ “Undyne? Why do you have Papyrus’ phone?” when she didn’t answer right away Sans panicked.  _

_ “Is he okay?!” Undyne rushed to answer after his comment.  _

_ “No he’s fine. it’s just-” There was mumbling on the other end.  _

_ Sans calmed “What? I couldn’t hear.” more mumbling.  _

_ “Undyne speak-up” Sans said plainly.  _

_ “I Need Help Okay! I Can’t say no to him! He’s just too...Urgg!” Sans sat silently for a second. He assumed she was talking about his brother.  _

_ “Papyrus? What do you need to say no to?”  _

_ “The Guard! He wanted to join it and I got a letter about a sentry position opening-up and he saw and he asked me if he could do it and” She trailed off and Sans’ blood ran cold.  _

_ “Undyne you didn’t”  _

_ “I did” Sans was angry and panicking at the same time.  _

_ “You know him right! He won’t hurt a fly let alone a- a human!” Suddenly all reassurances about the likelihood of a human coming flew out the window. This was happening and now.  _

_ “Yes I know WHY ELSE WOULD I CALL YOU. He’s gonna get eaten alive!” Sans tried to calm down, having both of them freak-out wasn’t going to help. If only this had been farther off, if only he had more time.  _

_ “When does he start?” Sans asked, forcing the emotion and panic from his voice.  _

_ “Tomorrow” Undyne said uncharacteristically quiet. Sans was quiet for a long time thinking of a solution. Finally, one came to mind. ‘For Papyrus’ he thought as he spoke.  _

_ “Give me a sentry position” he said with finality. His voice was serious, almost grave as he spoke.  _

_ Undyne was taken aback “What?”. Sans knew what he was doing. He was a one hit kill, barely a pebble in the face of any human. At least if they were anything like they’d been told. A soul the strength of 10 monsters, a mind as sharp as any knife. Which means he would have to be faster and stronger. ‘Something I can’t do’ a thought drilled into his head over the past few days.  _

_ “Give me a sentry position...One closer to the door to the ruins… then I’ll see the humans first and I’ll send Pap to inform everyone.” Sans elaborated.  _

_ “Sans I can’t-” The older skeleton cut her off, his emotionless voice swelling with anger.  _

_ “You have to! Because you just put my  _ **_brother_ ** _ on the front lines and I’ll be damned if he’s there alone  _ **_and_ ** _ first” Sans felt his magic crackle, begging to be released, at his anger.  _

_ “Either that or you tell him the truth, cause I’m not telling him his hero and friend lied and wants to go back on her word!” Undyne growled in response.  _

_ “Why do you even want him out there! Isn’t it better for him to have a crushed heart than being dusted!” Undyne seemed to be trying to keep her voice level to no avail. Maybe Papyrus was around somewhere. She was using his phone.  _

_ “Undyne you know just as well as I do that's it’s his dream…” Sans voice became somber with nostalgia.  _

_ “Ever since he was a baby bones, I can’t take it away knowing that he finally has a chance. Not without giving him an opportunity to prove himself first.”  _

_ Sans sighed “Keep training him, please, Once I’m confident he can hold his own I’ll resign. But Only Then.” He said with finality.  _

_ Undyne sighed “and if a human comes before then?” Sans chuckled darkly.  _

_ “Then I’ll have my work cut out for me, such a shame I was beginning to enjoy being lazy”  _

_ “This isn’t a joke” She spit out the four letter word with such venom.  _

_ “I know but, Hey! What are the chances of a human actually coming anyway” Sans said doubling back on the argument he’d used against himself. Undyne sighed, knowing she had no more counter arguments. ‘Glad she doesn’t know about my HP or this would be a different story’ Sans thought. He heard yelling from the other end of the line.  _

_ “7:00 am at Snowdin Forest. Bring a jacket” She said and hung-up giving no room for reply. “Way ahead of ya” Sans said referring to the blue jacket he almost always had on. He plopped down on the worn green couch.  _

_ “Welp better enjoy free time while it lasts.” He settled into his jacket planning to take a nap and make up for lost sleep.  _

_ “I’ve got work tomorrow”. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's kinda crazy we're already at part 3. It's a slightly shorter arc but I'm really excited to share it with you. But I actually have something I want to discuss with you guys.
> 
> When I first started this story I figured I would be one of few people reading it but over the last few chapters this story has started getting bigger. Its a project I really care about but back then things weren't the same. I'm not proud of the quality of my earlier chapters and It's something that's bugged me for a bit. So I've decide that once Part 3 is over I'm going to take a hiatus of sorts. I'll still be posting but instead of new chapters I'll be rewriting the older ones. Updates (If you want to call them that) will be irregular. Once I'm done I'll start posting chapters normally again so you might want to wait to reread (if you want to do that at all) until that point. Most of my newer chapters will remain they way they are unless I find grammar or spelling mistakes. The first chapters are the foundation for any writing and want to make them stronger! 
> 
> Now that that's been said this won't be happening for another few chapters so don't worry yet. This is just something that I really want to do and Hope you guys understand.
> 
> -WildCard4505
> 
> 2020: deja vu 101


	21. The Controlling Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the never ending white how will Papyrus react to the real reason he was a sentry in Snowdin forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super short chapter but I didn't get a lot of writing time these past 2 weeks. That and it just seemed like this should end right here if y'know what I mean.
> 
> But enjoy the Chapter!
> 
> edit: 4/26/20

Sans and Undyne both turned their heads to look at Papyrus. He was standing perfectly still staring at where the scene had been played. 

“Bro I-” Papyrus held up his hand and looked down, effectively cutting Sans off. Neither monster knew if he was mad or upset. Both were reasonable reactions. 

He laughed sadly “This… explains a lot” Undyne cringed. 

“Papyrus… We just wanted to-” Papyrus looked at Undyne, glaring. 

“protect me… I thought you gave me that spot because you- you believed in me. Not because of...that” Sans remained quiet, looking away ashamed. 

“I did believe in you-” Undyne tried to explain but Papyrus was too worked up. 

“Did you? Did you ever?” Papyrus’ voice was quiet but the words still struck like physical blows. “Of course I-” Papyrus ignored her and turned his attention to Sans. 

“and you? nothing to say Brother?”. Sans flinched the normally affectionate term feeling like a physical blow. 

Undyne growled “Will you let me talk!” She yelled. 

“I think you explained this pretty well just then” Papyrus shot back gesturing to the now blank screen, his voice just as level and quiet. It was a side of Papyrus no one had seen. Alphys, Toriel, and Frisk could help but watch with wide eyes. 

“That isn’t fair, that was like, A Year Ago!”. Papyrus laughed again causing Undyne’s head to snap-up. 

“I wasn’t strong enough, I never will be” He said plainly, like it was a fact. Sans was shaking from his spot at the words Papyrus was saying, at his laugh. It was too familiar. He felt tears well up. ‘I failed him’ he thought. As Sans was trapped in his own mind the argument continued.

“Don’t say that you’re strong as hell!” Undyne argued. 

“Well obviously not strong enough!” Papyrus countered. The rest of the room was silent. Frisk was shaking, obviously distraught from the argument. Nobody had heard Papyrus yell. Not like this. Not angry yelling. 

“It was never about strength.” Sans said quietly. His head was bowed, his fists clenched at his sides. Shadows covered his face, effectively hiding his tears. 

“Then what was it about Sans'' Sans turned his head as Papyrus spoke, cringing at the way he spoke his name. 

“Everything else...” Sans said quietly but it only made Papyrus angrier. 

“So I’m strong but what? I’m dumb? Is that what you’re saying! I know you all think of me like that! That I’m just- innocent and naive and stupid!” Papyrus’ voice wavered and dropped. “Papyrus-'' Undyne reached out but Sans beat her to it walking up to his brother. Papyrus had tears rolling down his face but tried to look angry still. 

“I’m not… I’m not stupid” he said and turned his head away to hide his tears. 

“Pap look at me” Papyrus didn’t move. 

“Please” Sans voice broke. His soul hurt hearing his brother like this. Papyrus finally looked still trying and failing to hold a scowl on his face. 

“Nobody thinks your stupid Papyrus'' Sans cut off any arguement to come. 

“Actually I admire you” Sans smiled distantly. 

“You always see the good in the world. You’re always looking for it, even when it’s not obvious.” Papyrus stayed silent, listening. 

“But… that’s why we were so worried. Sometimes you spend so much time looking for good that you refuse to see the bad. And maybe it worked out this time but what if… another human had fallen. One that wasn’t Frisk, one that tried to fight. Do you honestly think you could’ve done what you needed too. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you would have fought them with everything you had?” Sans fought back tears. Papyrus looked away, unable to comply. After a few seconds of awkward silence he spoke again. 

“I- I know there’s bad in the world… of course I know. I just don’t want to live being controlled by it.” Papyrus said and Sans cringed at the implied ‘like you’. 

“Is that really so bad?” Sans and Papyrus finally looked each other in the eyes. Sans’ response was a definite “No.” with no hesitation. 

“That part of you that always finds good. That never stops believing that something...someone… can be better. I never want that to change. It’s an amazing part of you.” Sans paused. He paid no attention to everyone around him. His full attention was on his younger brother. If he was, he’d notice Toriel smiling softly with tears in her eyes at the brotherly exchange. He’d see Undyne smiling proudly waiting for the right moment to jump in and smoother Papyrus with a hug. Frisk with a shaky smile taking in the words Sans spoke. Hoping that everything would work out. Dreading the coming moments. 

“You work so hard, you never give up. It’s amazing.” Sans chuckled. 

“It’s the opposite of me. When push comes to shove I always take the easy way out, but whenever I’m ready to throw in the towel you’re there to pull me along” Papyrus finally laughed. He looked like he had one more question. Sans looked at him questioningly, an open invitation for him to ask it. 

“You never left the post. Quit being a sentry. Did you never believe that-” Sans cut Payrus off “Papyrus I’m you overprotective brother. I’m inclined to believe it would have taken me years before I’d leave no matter what I thought. Hell it’ll probably take me a few more for you finally get it through my thick skull that your not a baby bones anymore” Sans laughed. He wasn’t ready to reveal that there was a secondary reason. Either way it would probably be shown later if past events were anything to judge by. 

“Was that a-” 

“maaaybe” Sans smiled dragging out the word. Papyrus huffed a laugh. 

“I’ll let you off the hook this time… Thank you Brother” Sans smiled softly and dragged Papyrus into a hug surprising the taller skeleton. 

“I’ll never stop believing in you, Pap. That’s a promise” Papyrus hugged back. 

The moment was unfortunately ruined by Undyne jumping in yelling “and that’s mutual!” and locking the skeleton into a headlock. 

“Please don’t noogie the skeleton!” Papyrus growned. 

“Too late” Undyne yelled laughing the whole time. The others laughed as well at the display. Once Undyne had stopped and Papyrus had regained his balance he turned to her with a mischievous smirk that would rival Sans’. 

“So Undyne, Is it true you can’t say ‘no’ to me” Sans barked a laugh which earned him a glare from the fish. He gave her a thumbs up coupled by his cheesy grin as if to say ‘good luck’. Every second Undyne didn’t answer Papyrus’ grin grew larger. 

“Um... no?” Sans burst out laughing, not able to hold it back any longer. Undyne stomped over as Papyrus giggled from behind her. 

“I swear Sans if you didn’t have one HP!” Sans laughed harder at the attempted threat. Everyone knew how loyal Undyne was and most of her threats were rendered meaningless as a result. She turned to stomp back to Papyrus. But, once Sans caught his breath… 

“Please don’t  **Krill** me cause I’m laughing” 

Undyne froze mid march. Her fist twitched. Papyrus cringed but almost laughed seeing Undyne’s reaction. 

“You’re terrible” Undyne said through clenched teeth. Sans had already started backing up to gain more distance before he spoke again. 

“ **Gill** -ty as charged” Sans said laughing before running toward Toriel who was standing on the sidelines with Frisk. Both of them were almost doubled over laughing. 

Undyne growled “SANS!” even Papyrus laughed. 

“It is mildly funny when the puns aren’t directed at you” Papyrus admitted to Frisk laughing slightly behind his hand as Undyne chased Sans around the white. All the while Sans complained about it being “too much work” but received nothing more than a few “think before you speak next time” comments and a chorus of unsympathetic looks.

Papyrus still had questions to ask, but seeing the screen light-up and flicker. Seeing the room start growing more serious as Sans looked up with barely contained nervousness. Papyrus thought they could wait for a bit. He walked up behind his brother setting a hand on his shoulder. A smile waiting for when Sans turned around. It was gold to him when Sans gave one back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying out a format I've never done before. So let me know if its easier for you guys to read!
> 
> Also please don't forget that I really appreciate you guys commenting about mistakes or giving me advice. I know I don't say it every chapter but I want it to go without saying from this point on.  
> We're all learning here, every author, and every writer. The second you think you've learned it all is when your doomed fall behind. At least in my opinion. I think the best way to get better is learn from your mistakes and other people. 
> 
> That's why I never want you guys to be hesitant about commenting mistakes or advice! This doesn't mean I want you guys to be my editors or anything like that or to read the chapter looking only for mistakes. You guys came here to read the story not proof read it and I don't want to sound like i'm forcing you guys to change that. I only mean that if you stumble apon one as you read don't be afraid to let me know.
> 
> geez that ended up longer than I expected! Anyway I hope you enjoyed and see you next time! :D


	22. Boring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans' first day as a sentry is not at all what he expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives me mixed emotions. I'm not sure if I like it or not. 
> 
> Anyway, This is officially the end of Arc 3!!! 
> 
> But that means rewriting is gonna start. For more details about how things are gonna work check the bottom notes!
> 
> Thank you!!
> 
> edit: 4/26/20

_ Sans yawned. His head was resting against his arm. Almost pressed against the top of his station. His free hand fiddled with an empty bottle of ketchup, spinning it and watching it fall with a thud on the sturdy wood counter. His station was constructed a while ago for previous sentries. He wondered if they found the position just as boring as he did. Sans wasn’t complaining though.  _

_ Boring was better than the danger that would come if he actually had to do his job.  _

_ The thought made Sans involuntarily look towards where his brother was stationed. It wasn’t visible of course, it was still a good distance away.  _

_ Unlike Sans, Papyrus built his own station. After Sans’ joined the sentries he was placed, as requested, at the station closest to the ruins door. Sans looked at the bright splotch of purple in the distance, it was a short walk. A straight path enclosed by trees on either side. It made it easy to see any movement coming out, but it was a double-edged sword. It meant they could see him too. T _

_ hey were left without a station for his brother, Papyrus, however he offered to make his own station. As Papyrus was building it he took it upon himself to make a few “improvements” to the area outside of Snowdin. He filled each area with puzzles, even commissioning Alphys to make one (but that wasn’t done yet). Most of them were incredibly smart and impressive for him to make.  _

_ He put all of his energy into them.  _

_ Leaving his station as more of an afterthought. The one in-front of Sans was a last minute addition to his arsenal that made Sans chuckle every time he saw it. It was a fence in the middle of an out of place bridge. It would have been well constructed if Papyrus hadn’t miscalculated the materials he had left, leaving the gates far too wide to stop anyone.  _

_ At the revelation Papyrus just shrugged.  _

_ Sans had something about “any humans being too confused to walk through it” and both skeletons laughed. Sans let his mind fill with memories as he closed his eyes. He wanted to catch up with the sleep he’s lost over the past few nights but sleeping on his first day on the job is low, even for him. Sans cracked an eye open and peaked at the purple blotch looking for movement. Seeing none he closed his eyes again. Maybe he deserved a quick nap, away from the nightmares and worry. Even if only for ten minutes. Sans kept his eyes closed calling for sleep to come, but it wouldn’t answer. Sans’ mind was too focused, listening to every shift of the leaves and branches with the wind. Every sound of the forest seeped into him, not loud but not quiet either. His brain was already filled with thoughts he learned to ignore but now he was also analyzing each sound around him.  _

_ What came from where?  _

_ Could it be foot prints?  _

_ Sans opened his eyes taking in the empty scene around him for the fifth time.  _

_ He sighed and leaned back in his chair, hands behind his skull and balancing on two of the chair legs. The way Papyrus constantly told him not to.  _

_ This time the legs slipped on the fresh snow and Sans toppled down the exact way Papyrus said he would. Sans sat up and rubbed the top of his skull with a hand.  _

_ He looked at a rock on the ground next to him, “Papyrus doesn’t need to know about this, okay” He said to the rock chuckling. Unsurprisingly, the rock didn’t reply but Sans smiled anyway pretending it did.  _

_ “I knew I could trust you buddy” He winked and stood up brushing off the pair of plain sweatpants he had worn. In a spur of the moment decision Sans picked up the rock and stuffed it in his jacket pocket.  _

_ “Let's go for a walk. Nothing says a sentry can’t patrol a bit” Sans started walking toward the ruins door.  _

_ “Well I mean it kinda does but eh that's the fine print” Sans laughed as he continued to talk to the rock in his pocket. He finally reached the ruins door and stared at it in awe.  _

_ “Wow that's a big door” He said “and...purple.” He laughed and flopped against it.  _

_ The snow floated around him as he sat with his back against the door. Suddenly Sans had an idea. He took the rock out of his pocket and set it next to him.  _

_ “You like knock knock jokes?” Sans asked, smiling at himself. Pretending the rock answered ‘yes’ Sans racked his brain for a good joke.  _

_ “Knock knock” Sans said, knocking on the door behind him for effect. He wasn’t going to wait for the rock to reply and skipped to his line.  _

_ “Tank” Sans said to the rock and listened to the non-existent “Tank who?”.  _

_ He replied “Your welcome”.  _

_ Sans put his hands behind his head but jumped when he thought he heard a shuffle behind the door. After a few seconds of hearing nothing Sans resumed his lazy position.  _

_ “I’m just a bundle of nerves today huh” Sans sat quietly for a second or two.  _

_ “How ‘bout another one. The wood of this door seems sturdy enough to handle a few more.” Sans smiled, taking no time at all to find another joke feeling lighter than he had in weeks.  _

_ “Knock knock” Sans said, prepared to skip to his next line.  _

_ “Who is there?” Said a quiet voice and Sans jumped to his feet. It was muffled slightly by the door but there was no doubt it was a voice. It took a few seconds for Sans to realize they were playing along with his joke. He gathered his surprise and…  _

_ “dishes” He said, moving closer to the door again so the voice could hear him. There was a long pause and Sans almost thought he imagined the voice in the first place. He thought he was doing better with that. But then the voice came back  _

_ “Dishes who?” Sans sighed with relief. It was real. He wasn’t sure if that more concerning or not. “Dishes is a very bad joke” Sans said confidently.  _

_ Then, the laughter started. Quiet at first but growing in volume until Sans started laughing too. The joke wasn’t unique, it was probably one of his more overused ‘knock knock’ jokes but still they laughed like it was gold. Sans settled back against the door. The laughter quieted eventually but was replaced by stray sniffles and hiccups.  _

_ “Hey are you okay?” The sounds quieted immediately and Sans panicked. He didn’t want to be alone again.  _

_ “Um okay uh...knock knock” Every second that voice didn’t reply Sans’ heartbeat grew faster. ‘Don’t leave’ he thought desperately.  _

_ “Who is there?” the voice finally replied quieter than before.  _

_ Sans breathed “Doris” he said. The voice laughed silently before even replying, an obvious sign they’d heard it before, but they continued with the joke anyway.  _

_ “Doris who?” The voice seemed more confident this time.  _

_ Sans was laughing as he delivered the punchline  _

_ “Doris locked that why I’m knocking” Again the area was filled with laughter from both the skeleton and the mysterious voice. From that point on Sans sat and told jokes through the door. Only jokes though. He was too afraid to scare his new friend away again.  _

_ ‘I’m 18 and I’m telling jokes to a stranger through a door for fun.’ Sans thought there might be something odd about the situation but he ignored it and focused on his jokes and the never ending laughter from the door. A light and ringing laughter not unlike Papyrus’. It was aged compared to his though, and the more he listened it was very obviously female not that it mattered. The laughter lifted his spirits, he focused on it completely. Let his jokes consume him for the moment and he felt like himself for the first time in too long. Sans prepared another joke “Okay um Kno-”  _

_ “wait” she interrupted.  _

_ “Knock knock” She said instead and Sans beamed  _

_ “who’s there?” Sans said, surprised at the fact she was iniciatiating a joke.  _

_ “Cows go”  _

_ “cows go who?” Sans was trying not to laugh waiting for the punchline he already knew. _

_ “No silly Cows go ‘moo’” Sans laughed at the joke he’d read 5 times. He was pretty sure he’d found it in a kids book he’d gotten for Papyrus. Papyrus has yet to finish the book. That page was the last one they read before Papyrus banned it from the house. _

_ It still “mysteriously” appears on the table opened to that page sometimes though.  _

_ Sans raised a hand to his face to wipe away tears from his laughter. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and was hit with a wave of panic.  _

_ ‘How long has it been?’ Sans wondered and gasped at the time.  _

_ “3 hours what? How!” Sans said flabbergasted. His phone displayed a message from Papyrus saying he’d be there to pick Sans up soon.  _

_ “Is something wrong?” the voice said through the door. He hated to leave just when they’re starting to talk to him but Papyrus would kill him if he wasn’t at his post when he got there.  _

_ “Ya I gotta go my bro’s waiting” Sans said, picking up the rock, putting it in his pocket again. ‘Souvenir’ he thought.  _

_ “Oh” they said sadly.  _

_ Sans thought “hey uh… I'm gonna be around for a while” Sans said.  _

_ “Oh?” The voice lifted slightly, hopeful but not quite happy yet.  _

_ “Wanna meet up tomorrow, same time?” Sans asked nonchalantly but his head was screaming “please say yes” He’d been without a friend for too long.  _

_ “Sure” the voice chirped happily.  _

_ Sans said a quick “Cool” and bye before finding a shortcut to his station. He appeared behind his station in the forest and ran forward to collapse in his chair.  _

_ “Thank god I looked for shortcuts earlier” The skeleton laughed. Just on cue Sans heard his brother coming yelling his name. Sans laughed and waved to the taller skeleton.  _

_ “Brother! How was your first day?” Sans smiled.  _

_ “It was cool. Kinda Boring. How about you?” The brothers started walking to Snowdin. Sans laughed as Papyrus excitedly explained every second of his day. Quickly, he glanced back at the door and to his beaming brother. ‘Maybe this job won’t be as boring as I thought’ Sans stuck his hands in his pocket and constantly walked with his brother.  _

* * *

Only those watching in real time noticed the fleeting pedals from behind the sentry post as they walked. And from those monsters. Only a select few knew what they were. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so like I said I'm gonna do some rewriting of the earlier chapters. During this time I won't be updating new chapters. I also won't be posting a new edited Chapter every week or anything. I guess you could think of this as a hiatus if you want. I might post the rewritten chapters as I go or I might post them all at once. Once I'm done I'll post a new "chapter" that only consists of what I updated. There I'll tell current readers what to re-read so they're not behind on anything new. 
> 
> Finally I'm just gonna say this right now.  
> I don't know how long this will take. I might only miss 2 updates or I could miss more, either way I'm 100% coming back so you don't have to worry about that!
> 
> Thank you all for letting me do this and being so understanding! You guys are the best!
> 
> ~WildCard4505
> 
> (P.S. don't kill me for the semi-cliff hanger...)


	23. The GREAT Papyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Papyrus doubts his greatness it's up to one skeleton to prove that he's a cool dude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to cram a bit more fluff and brotherly love in

_ Sans was surprised when he didn’t wake up to the telltale clanging of pots and pans, or the door slamming open. In fact, it was unsettling how quiet the normally lively house was. For once Sans heard the natural creaking of the house as it moved. He checked the clock noting it was about 2 hours after his normal, and slightly rude, awakening. Again, odd. Odd that Papyrus hadn’t bursted into his room yet, demanding he get up and get ready. Maybe it was his internal alarm clock that woke him up anyway.  _

_ ‘Damn I wish that I had a snooze button’ Sans thought playfully, but in truth he was worried. He walked down stairs after putting on a pretty normal outfit for him. A light blue shirt and black sweatpants. His lazy attire was completed with the addition of the jacket Papyrus so carefully placed on the coat hanger.  _

_ The kitchen was untouched. Sans opted for toasting a bagel like he used to do back when… _

_ Like he used to do.  _

_ He didn’t want to think about that now. He checked his phone for any missed messages from the taller brother. He was even more concerned when he didn’t miss messages from him and he got no reply after calling out. He did notice he had several missed messages from Alphys that he should check later. He put the toasted bagel in his mouth and started up the stairs, peeking down the hallway from the banister. Suddenly, the door slammed open and Sans whipped around. He thought he saw Papyrus’ smile down-turned and upset, but his usual smile was plastered on his face so quickly Sans could almost believe it was his imagination. He hung his coat up nicely.  _

_ “Brother you’re awake!” Papyrus said pleased and walked past him into his room.  _

_ Sans followed him and leaned against the doorway. Papyrus’ room had managed to both be cluttered and perfectly clean at the same time. Action figures he had collected and had given to him were standing on his table. They seemed to be having a battle.  _

_ Most of them came from Coal at Christmas. He still remembered how Papyrus’ face lit up seeing the man come in with a long white beard and bag of gifts. He’d given stuff to Grillby and Sans as well but both boys were too old for rouse and acted mostly for Papyrus. His book shelf was full of puzzle books from the library and few books they read when he was younger. It’s almost hard to believe that Papyrus is 16. It's even harder to fathom that he’s 18 and technically an adult.  _

_ “Well we were almost late for being early” Sans said teasingly. _

_ “I’m going to pretend I didn't hear that sarcasm, and congratulate you on your work ethic,” Papyrus said, pulling out his clothes for the day. An orange sweater and a pair of khakis.  _

_ “Now shoo, I have to get dressed.” Sans laughed and walked away. He turned before going downstairs and saw his brother slump down on his bed sadly, his shoulders hunched, and drop his skull into his hands. It was a foreign sight to Sans. _

_ ‘Somethings wrong.’ Sans’ thoughts screamed and he agreed. Something that Papyrus couldn’t tell him. He made another bagel, this time adding cream cheese and set it on Papyrus’ spot on the table. He was about to walk back upstairs when he noticed an envelope sticking out the pocket of Papyrus’ Jacket. Pulling it out Sans noticed the aggressively scrawled ‘Papyrus’ on the back. The seal was broken already and Sans opened and read what was inside.  _

_ It was an invitation to a party, A wishing party, that looked to be sent by Undyne. As he read he was even more confused. The party seemed to be right up his brother’s alley. Even to the point where guests were encouraged to bring a dish to share.  _

_ ‘So why isn’t that first thing I heard about when he walked in?’ Sans wondered. The party was tonight in the wishing room Sans noted. He heard his brother come out of the room and he stuffed the letter back in the jacket.  _

_ “Hey bro, I made you a bagel.” Sans said. Papyrus thanked him and they sat down keeping up a normal conversation. Sans was debating with himself to ask about the party. It was most likely why he was so upset even if Sans didn’t understand it. But the other part of his brain reasoned that Papyrus would tell him if it was important, that he should wait for him to bring it up.  _

_ Breakfast passed and Papyrus had gotten up to wash his dish, still with no mention of the party. Sans decided he would have to initiate the discussion. _

_ “Soo, what are you going to wear for the party?” Sans asked and Papyrus almost dropped his plate.  _

_ “Uhh. What Party?” Papyrus said nervously. Sans sighed, the lie registering immediately. Papyrus still couldn’t lie to save his life. It would almost be funny if Sans wasn't so worried. _

_ “Pap…” Sans said and Papyrus knew he’d been caught. _

_ “I’m...not going?” He seemed unsure of his own answer. Sans lifted a bone-brow, confused. _

_ “Why not?” Papyrus fiddled with his scarf, his own nervous habit. Sans already knew that whatever he would say next would be a lie.  _

_ “For a totally logical reason! Which is that… we have to work…” Papyrus deflated the second the words left his mouth. He caught his brother's expression. Sans wasn’t believing it in the slightest. _

_ “Papyrus… whatever it is you can tell me,” Sans said encouragingly. Papyrus stayed quiet and Sans figured that whatever was wrong, his brother wasn’t going to tell him. He was prepared to leave but then... _

_ “It’s just..what if...the other monsters think I’m… weird.” Papyrus said slowly. It wasn’t at all what he was expecting. To Sans, Papyrus had always been confident and ready to make new friends. The second Sans let him, he got an account on Undernet. Hell, he made friends with the captain of The Royal Guard.  _

_ “Bro that's what you're worried about?” Sans asked and Papyrus nodded. Sans stood-up determined, his hands rested on the table as he leaned forward. _

_ “Papyrus you’re smart, motivated, encouraging, you always want to help others. You’re the coolest monster I know. Any of those monsters would have to blind not to notice that. You’re down right inspiring.” Sans said sincerely. Papyrus had tears welling up in his eye sockets. Sans looked his younger brother in the eye sockets to show he meant every word.  _

_ Sans smiled “You’re The Great Papyrus remember.”  _

_ Sans finished and was suddenly pulled into a bone crushing hug. He hugged back tightly, feeling Papyrus’ shoulder shake as he cried. It was concerning to say the least. This wasn’t an all the sudden insecurity, it had obviously been brewing under the surface for a while. Feet on the ground Sans reached up and wiped away the tears streaming down his brother's face.  _

_ “Now, what are we making for this party?” Papyrus’ face lit up and he began listing options. Sans checked his phone as Papyrus began throwing ingredients out of the fridge. He had apparently decided on spaghetti, to no one’s surprise. Sans briefly thought he should teach him something else to make, but he didn’t know how to cook much better. He read through the texts from Alphys. _

_ “Hey bro I guess Alphys is gonna be there.” He said ducking to avoid a box of Spaghetti noodles. Sans was surprised she was coming, from what he remembered big parties weren’t normally her scene.  _

_ “I remember Alphys! You guys worked together right?” Papyrus said absentmindedly. He was too busy looking through a cabinet to notice Sans' look of surprise at his response. He was surprised he remembered that much but it wasn’t that big of a detail. He read the last texts and was hit with a wave of guilt.  _

**_*ur probably not even paying attention to these but ur invited too_ **

**_*I’d be cool of u 2 come...i’m worried about you_ **

_ He remembered how he’d avoided her since she became The Royal Scientist. It wasn’t her fault but he never told her that. He was in a bad place, his guilt consuming him. Honestly, he still is. He still has to lie about why he woke up screaming some nights to his brother. Still feels his stomach crash when he glances at the back of the house.  _

_ But his new job was nice, relaxing even. He’s made it a tradition to keep going to the door, trading jokes with the lady behind it. She never talks much about herself but Sans always gets sidetracked. He goes on tangents about Papyrus’ newest maze in the yard or how dedicated he is to maintaining his traps in the forest. She never interrupts him either. It’s nice talking through a door, in a weird sorta way.  _

_ Sans shook his head to get back on track. _

_ “Well I guess she invited me too” Sans said when suddenly he was hit with a face full of pink glitter. Sans wiped off his face and glared at his brother. Papyrus seemed more amused than anything. His gloved hand failing to cover his giggles.  _

_ “What the heck Papyrus!” Sans looked down at his pink glitter covered shirt. Somehow his jacket had escaped it’s wrath and Sans quickly, and carefully, took it off and out of the danger zone.  _

_ “Sorry brother, it was the last ingredient,” Papyrus said, his sentence broken up by laughs. Sans froze, placing his jacket on the couch.  _

_ “Why do you need Glitter for Spaghetti!” Sans yelled back walking back into the kitchen and looking sadly at the pile of glitter on the floor. It seemed to have two perfect clean spots from where his feet were.  _

_ ‘I’m never gonna clean this up’ Sans thought. Papyrus laughed at his dismayed expression.  _

_ “I saw it on a show last night! And at least now you're not going to be able to wear  _ **_that_ ** _ to the party” Papyrus said and turned to the stove.  _

_ “What was wrong with what I was wearing!” San asked, pulling at his shirt and trying to wipe the glitter off.  _

_ “What was- Brother you can’t wear sweatpants to a Party!” Papyrus looked affronted.  _

_ “And don’t wipe the glitter onto the floor!” Papyrus order gesturing to the trash can in the corner of their kitchen. Sans grumbled and groaned when the glitter refused to let go of his shirt. His sweatpants were in a similar state, perhaps worse with the black fabric. Suddenly Papyrus stopped stirring the spaghetti. Sans looked at him confused. _

_ “Oh My Stars. Clothes!” Papyrus abandoned his spaghetti in favor of running to his room. Sans laughed and went to turn off the eye of the stove. He noticed pieces of cardboard swirling with the spaghetti and sauce. Sans grimaced and tried to pull them out with minimal success.  _

_ “Eh it can’t be that bad” Sans shrugged and walked up to his room to change. He heard Papyrus rummaging through his closet and chuckled pulling out a change of clothes. To appease his brother he put on his work khakis and a grey shirt. He looked in his mirror and was satisfied though a few specks of glitter clung to his skull. ‘My version of dressing up’ he thought and threw the glitter violated clothes in the corner.  _

_ “ARGG!”  _

_ The yell made Sans jump and he whipped his head toward the door just as Papyrus threw it open. Sans winced at the crash of the door hitting his wall. He was about to reprimand his brother but was quickly cut off. _

_ “Sans I have nothing to wear!!” Papyrus said frantically. Sans looked him up and down. Papyrus wasn’t dressed badly, he wore almost the same outfit as Sans did minus the shirt.  _

_ “What's wrong with what you're wearing?” Papyrus groaned loudly at his question. Sans blinked, ‘am I missing something?’ He thought.  _

_ “Sans It’s a costume party!” Sans “ohh”-ed quietly and then nodded. The brothers entered Papyrus’ room and Sans searched through his closet. Papyrus was right, he didn’t have any costumes for the party. He had a collection of sweaters and T-shirts in every style of clothes he could imagine. Several crop tops and leggings, but nothing that could constitute a costume for the party.  _

_ “What do you want to be?” Sans asked, turning to his brother. If he had a concept maybe they could throw something together. Papyrus suddenly dashed to the drawer underneath his figure table. He pulled out a comic book and shoved it in his older brother’s face.  _

_ “Like this!” Sans took the comic and hummed in affirmation.  _

_ “Okay, Okay we can pull this off.” Sans said, already thinking about the construction, and Papyrus squealed. Sans remembered this comic, it was one of the first Papyrus had been given after they moved in with Grillby. It was a story of a knight, doomed to wander the world alone after the young prince was captured on his watch. He wasn’t allowed to return home until he proved himself worthy. He decided to do so he would find the prince and assure his parents he was well. Sans thought it was a rather cliche storyline but Papyrus couldn’t get enough of it. He soaked-up the merciful ways of the knight.  _

_ The brothers decided to check around the junkyard for parts of the costume. Papyrus decided he didn't want his armor to be as intimidating as the knights and the brothers sketched a design together. They found a decent chestplate and some other useful parts for it.  _

_ They spent the rest of the day working on it. Sans shaped the metal for the chest plate and they both took on the sewing. Papyrus took charge when it came to coloration and the design in general.  _

_ Once they were done Sans stood back and admired it proudly. The white bubbly chest plate had shining gold rims. Sans had added a house symbol on the corner of it like the knight had in the comic book. Papyrus decided to contrast the shorts as a bright blue, and as much Sans objected at first, it looked pretty good.  _

_ Papyrus was practically vibrating as he put it on and stood tall as he looked at himself in the mirror. Sans smiled seeing any hint of insecurity wash away. It funny how wearing an outfit like that would make him nervous and uncomfortable but Papyrus seemed to thrive in it. His eye sockets glimmered like stars as he turned to his brother. _

_ “I  _ **_love_ ** _ it!!” Papyrus said and scooped the older brother into a hug. During which, Papyrus seemed to notice something. _

_ “Oh no! What about your costume? We don’t have time to make another!” Papyrus inqueried glancing out the window. Sans noted it was starting to get darker and they had to leave soon if they wanted to be on time. Sans shrugged and walked to his room and Papyrus followed him curiously. He dug through his desk pulling out a pair of scissors and grabbing his white sheet. He cut holes and threw it over his skull.  _

_ “Done.” Sans said, chuckling as Papyrus face palmed. _

_ “It will do.” Papyrus said, still smiling about his own costume. He went down and grabbed the apparently finished spaghetti and the two left the house. Sans adjusted his sheet so it would stop slipping and followed his brother.  _

_ “This’ll be interesting.” Sans laughed imagining everyone's faces when they go for a bowl of spaghetti. Maybe he can finally get Undyne back for destroying his kitchen.  _

_ *** _

_ The party was about what Sans expected. It wasn’t huge but not small either. Sans had already taken off his ‘costume’ since it insisted on sliding off his head. Sans mostly hung with his brother, waving at the monsters he was introduced to. He swore he wouldn’t seek-out Alphys, but he couldn’t help looking around for the short lizard. The entirety of the Royal Guard showed-up but that wasn't much of a surprise. Their Captain was hosting the party after all. It was a surprise, when Sans saw Grillby by the table of food. Sans turned to tell his brother he was leaving, but saw him making conversation with Undyne. He took that as his cue to leave. He walked up to his friend.  _

_ “Hey Grillbz, What’s cookin’” Sans said smiling. _

_ “I told you that joke is banned.” Grillby said flatly but Sans could see the corners of his mouth lift up in a slight smile. _

_ “You can’t ban a joke,” Sans countered. He noticed a heaping plate of burgers sitting on the table, and reached for one silently. _

_ “It’s not time to eat yet.” Grillby smacked his hand down playfully. Sans pouted but smiled seeing his friend's costume. Grillby was decked out in full pirate gear. A long black and red trench coat hung down past his waist, completed with a traditional hat. His belt was lopsided and held a small knife. It was probably meant to be a sword. Sans couldn’t tell if it was real or not. _

_ “Aw come on Grillbz, It’s your fault anyway!” Sans waited for Grillby to respond. _

_ “How exactly is that my fault?” Grillby sounded exasperated. _

_ “You got me  _ **_hooked_ ** _ on your burgers.” Sans felt extremely satisfied when Grillby barked out a laugh. He quickly covered it by coughing, but Sans wasn’t fooled. He mumbled a “not funny” and Sans chuckled.  _

_ “So  _ **_ARR_ ** _ you going to let me have a burger?” Grillby groaned this time. _

_ “Just take one, Glitter face” Grillby joked and Sans laughed and grabbed a burger. _

_ “Not my fault. Paps was making Spaghetti,” Sans said, taking a bite of the delicious burger. He almost choked at the look on his friend's face. He looked absolutely horrified at his words and Sans thought it was hilarious.  _

_ “Are you telling me your brother put glitter in the spaghetti?” Grillby said, hoping it was a joke and Sans nodded.  _

_ Suddenly, Sans had a weird sense of deja vu.  _

_ “What’d you say?” Sans looked at Grillby. _

_ “Glitter in your ears? I told you to take one.” Sans brushed off the feeling and took a burger, savoring his first bite.  _

_ Sans made a joke about his brother's cooking skills and Grillby seemed terrified of the prospect that Undyne was teaching him how to cook. The two kept up a playful conversation for most of the party, Papyrus joining in once or twice. Sans was glad that Papyrus was having fun. He was showing off his now dubbed 'Battle Body' to the other monsters.  _

_ Any sign of nervousness seemed to wash away as he talked. Still, Sans resolved to keep an eye on him in case it happened again. His brother was pretty cool and he'd tell him any chance he got.  _

_ Grillby made the wise decision of straying clear of the spaghetti once it was time to eat. A few of the other monsters weren't so lucky however.  _

_ Long story short by the end of the party Sans was socially exhausted and ready to crash on his bed. Papyrus was still bouncing around excitedly when they got home and thanked his brother for convincing him to come.  _ _ Both brothers crashed in their respective rooms. For once sleep came easily to Sans and he only had a second to think about how he never got to see Alphys and explain his disappearance.  _

_ ‘ _ _ Maybe it’s for the best.’ Sans thought as he drifted off. _


	24. "First" Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does everything so wrong....  
> so daunting....  
> so....  
> Familiar..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I'm actually pretty happy with how this one turned out! I threw a lot of symbolism into it at points. Also for those of you who have been waiting for this for ages (Including me), Here we are!
> 
> P.S. In a couple of chapters I will post a technicalities chapter that mostly consists of stuff I explain in my notes and some other things as well.

_Snowdin was a ghost town. The doors were all shut and locked, windows had been hastily closed. Everyone was inside most likely due to the storm coming. Sans should be inside too, but something told him he needed to be here. The snow was falling too fast to admire its beauty. Instead it only made Snowdin look dreary and grey. Even so, the inside of houses had a warm yellow glow. It eased Sans’ concern slightly._

_‘Something’s wrong, I can feel it in my bones.’ Sans laughed at his mental pun. Sans walked through down the center of Snowdin. He looked by the newly replaced Giftmas tree and looked everywhere around his house. He imagined Papyrus stomping at his bad humor. His non-existent guts churned at the thought of his brother. That’s why he was out here._

_Papyrus had yet to come home._

_Sans checked his phone for the tenth time since leaving, his unread messages stared back at him from the dim screen. Papyrus never left messages without responding but according to his phone, his brother hadn’t even read them yet. It all gave Sans a weird mix of emotions. Anger, concern, and something akin to dread._

_‘Maybe I’m just overreacting.’ Sans reassured himself. He looked through the flurry of snow that continued to get worse._

_‘Maybe he stayed at Undyne’s since the storm was supposed to be so bad.’ Actually he had kinda wished that was the case. If this went on much longer Sans would have to retreat as well. He wouldn’t be much good if he was frozen. An image of Papyrus freezing sparked in his mind but Sans shook his head. Sans refused to think of the negatives, even when they were laid out so clearly. When the world, when his brain, threw sign after sign that things weren't right._

_Papyrus still didn’t respond to his message._

_Sans sent 4 more, all with various senses of urgency._

**_*hey bro did you stay at Undyne’s cause of the storm?_ **

**_*Pap? I’m not mad i just wanna check up on you_ **

**_*Papyrus?_ **

**_*Why aren’t you responding? Are you okay?_ **

_Sans read the texts once more before typing up another message. It wasn’t often he used his brother’s full name. It was a term reserved for big achievements, big mistakes, or times like this. It was a way to convey his urgency, even if he switched between the two subconsciously._

**_*Papyrus please i’m starting to get worried._ **

_Starting was an understatement. Sans could feel the tendrils of panic edge in. He could feel the doubt creeping up his spine. But Sans couldn’t afford to get wrapped up in his head, the storm was getting worse and he had one more place to check. Finally, Sans wandered in the woods just before Snowdin. He danced around Papyrus’ traps looking for the taller skeleton and calling his name fruitlessly into the forest. Sans decided after this he would go to Undyne’s personally._

_“Maybe he broke his phone training or something” Sans thought out loud but he knew somehow that wasn’t right. He leaned against a tree in the middle of the woods. There is a flash of something else. Of him chasing something, a flurry of magic as fierce as the snow at his command. But it was gone as suddenly as came leaving Sans to wonder what he saw. With each passing second the pit in his stomach grew._

_“N-None of this is right,” He said, confused. Sans had never gotten worked up this quickly before. His chest felt tight like something was holding him down._

_“I Don’t have t-time for this” He forced out. Frustration joined the party as Sans stood shakily holding on to a tree for support. There was a pressure behind his throat as he continued looking. “PAPYRUS!” Sans yelled into the storm. The wind seemed to blow his words away. Sans turned around momentarily._

_‘He wouldn’t go this deep.’ Sans thought. Papyrus was smart. If it even looked like it was going to storm he’d find someplace safe to go._

_‘This is a waste of time.’ Sans was going to go to Waterfall when a flash of red caught his eye. He walked over to investigate. Sans went to pick it up but flinched back like he was hit. It was a piece of his scarf, hanging carelessly on a branch._

_Everything seemed to wash away._

_Everything seemed so very very_ **_wrong._ **

_Papyrus would never be so careless with his scarf. He’d treasured it since Coal gave it to him. That scarf was like Sans jacket. Irreplaceable._

_Feelings flooded his bones and among them was a strong need to run straight ahead. He ran without hesitation, tripping over rocks. He weaved between trees, dodged hanging branches. When he stopped he felt like he’d been stabbed. His lungs begging him to stop, the cold air mixed with his running attacked him from the inside. His own feelings in the fray. Sans bent down, hands on his knees, to catch his breath. He saw something solid below him hidden in the snow. It was a pristine white like everything around it. He picked it up but soon left it abandoned on the ground and began running again._

_There was a trail of them._

_A trail of shattered bone attacks._

_Sans stumbled and noticed white pellets littered the ground as frequently as the bones shards. ‘This isn’t right’ Sans thought again, he felt sick. Questions quickly fired into his brain. He didn’t have answers to any of them._

_Why did Papyrus come here?_

_Why was a piece of scarf ripped on the branch?_

_Why were there attacks Everywhere?_

_Sans ran further in, yelling his brother's name into the wind. He noticed a small clearing and bursted through the trees stopping dead at the other side._

_“F-flowey you’re my friend.” His voice was weak and wavering but definitely him. The snow was falling heavily. So much so, that even in the open area he couldn’t see much more than his silhouette. Sans was so rushed, so frantic, he didn’t register that Papyrus was talking to something._

_“You can be better, please” His voice was missing the usual pep and confidence that came with it. It almost stopped Sans where he stood but he already had passed through much of the snow falling._

_Sans could see him now and he audibly growled. A yellow flower, looking incredibly out of place in the white background, stood above his fallen brother. A vine twisted cruelly around Papyrus’ neck. It had a crooked smile on its face and seemed to be reveling in the anger and other emotions that flew off him in waves. Sans caught sockets with his brother before the voice spoke again._

_“Too late again trash bag” It took half a second to register the meaning of the words, to prepare an attack. To do anything_ **_useful._ **

_In that half a second a crack echoed in the forest and dust began to mix with the snow giving it a sickly gray color._

_Sans froze, the flower smirked._

_Common sense left the arena._

_Sans sent every attack he had, every drop of magic into attacking the demon, the rotten little weed that dared attack his brother. Sans’ vision blurred and he realized his own tears were obscuring it. The event was a blur and when snow, magic, and dust settled a lone red scarf laid on the ground, a yellow petal a few feet before. He stared blankly at the wreck that was left. Sans picked the pedal up, crushing it in his hand and stuffed it in his pocket. He walked to the scarf._

_He didn’t notice the tears streaming down his face as he reached for it._

_He didn’t hear his own broken wail._

_He felt everything leave him but that didn’t seem to matter anymore._

_Sans felt like he was watching himself as a third person, like he wasn’t even there anymore. He sat in the snow defeated, scarf wrapped around his fingers. It weaved through them locking his hands into place. The flowers words played through his head like a broken record._

_“Too late again trash bag”_

_“Too late again…”_

**_“A g a i n”_ **

_Sans jolted._

_‘I-I was too late before. This had all happened before.’ Sans clutched his skull. Pictures flashed through his mind. He choked on his own tears._

_‘I was always too late.’ His skull felt like it would break._

**_‘16’_ ** _his mind supplied. He had watched his brother die 16 times. He unwound his finger but held the scarf firmly in one hand. Sans didn’t know what he was running on. Adrenaline maybe. He felt tapped out, exhausted._

_Still Sans looked for a shortcut with what remained of his magic. Somewhere inside Sans knew he was just distracting himself. From the weight of the scarf in his hands and the delicate pedal in his pocket. He stumbled through and appeared in the basement of their house. He pulled off the tarp, now covered in dust that made him cringe. The action alone widened the pit in his stomach. This was just another reminder. Another friend he was too late to save. Sans had gotten rather far in the machine. He tapped into energy in what he thought was the void. Energy that let them vaguely see how the timeline moved. Turning it on, he looked at the readings anxiously. The Timeline had been stopping, creating dead-ends before jumping somewhere new._

_Sans didn’t know what to think. How to respond._

_Each was about a week apart maybe more, he couldn’t tell for sure. Sans didn’t even know if 16 was all he did, if there was more he didn’t remember._

_He didn’t want to know. The not-memories he had were only fragments of the day, the important parts...the bad parts._

_The psycho path flower had really killed his brother over and over._

_“_ ** _For What!”_ ** _Sans yelled. It was the first thing he’d said since it happened. Sans punched the wall, his magic depleted. He was still shaking and he stared blankly as the bright red scarf in his hands. Even now it seemed cheery. Like his possessions were imbued with the same never ending positivity Papyrus held._

_He leaned his head against the wall._

_It was the only thing keeping him standing, in more ways than one._

_The knowledge of how often he failed his brother was killing him. The scarf slipped through his finger and he let it float to the ground._

_“F-for fun….that's all it is...” Sans felt hopeless. Involuntary tears streamed silently down his face. They weren't the heart wrenching sobs from before, but it was just as painful._

_“why couldn’t it be me…” He whispered to no one. The workshop felt empty and the silence was suffocating. Nothing had changed since the last time he was down here. He could still feel ghosts of his desperation, his guilt as it seemed to flood back into him. Sans realized nothing good ever happened when he was in this basement._

_“I- I promised” He promised to be a better brother but he failed. What brother lets the other die over and over. He reached for the remains of the yellow petal in his pocket and slowly got up, still feeling slightly light headed from his use of magic. He slammed it on the lab table, the machine hummed next to him._

_“Never again. I won’t forget. I’ll protect you next time” Sans said internally hoping for him to do it again. To give him another shot and this time he won’t waste it._

**_Cause what’s the point if he can’t protect him._ **

**_Why should he be here if he isn’t?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Easy.... He Shouldn't....
> 
> ***


	25. Broken House of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you react to something you never should have known?  
> How do you live knowing at one point you stopped?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit shorter this week but It just felt wrong to add more to it

Over the course of the memory Sans had sunk down deeper and deeper. The others were too horrified to notice his sink into insanity. Unwanted memories steamrolled into his mind. Things he had managed to block out for a long time.

But ignoring something doesn’t make it go away.

He held his hands over his nonexistent ears to try and drown out the noise of the damn flowers' laughter. The laugh of a maniac with nothing to lose even as he dies. Even when the memory finished he could hear the shrill laugh, he could hear his own screams of anger, He vaguely felt the arms wrap around him. He wanted them off. They felt suffocating, but at the same time he needed to touch someone, anyone to know that they’re still there. That he’s not back in Snowdin.

“Brot-'' he heard someone muffled in the background. He tried to lock on to sound. 

“Sans---come---” He suddenly felt a bony hand jerk his head and he managed to hear the voice.

“Brother! It’s okay! I’m okay” Not just a voice, Papyrus.

Papyrus who was on his knees in front of him. He was blocking the others' horrified faces and by consequence was blocking Sans’ breakdown from them. Sans stared at his brother's face for a few seconds and breathed a laugh. He reached around and hugged his brother tightly. Sans briefly wondered when he had sunk to the ground. He felt Papyrus shake slightly through their hug and tightened his grip.

It was both for Papyrus’ sake and his own.

He could feel the heat from his brother and his hands gripping on to his jacket. It was grounding. Out of all the times he saw his brother die that was the most painful, the most real. Of course that’s the one that was played on the big screen. Alphys mentioned that memories that will play helped shape who he was today. It made sense why it would play. That didn’t make it better though. Sans had stopped crying, not realizing he had started in the first place among his panic. Papyrus had shifted and Sans saw the state the others were in. They looked terrible to say the least. 

Toriel held a hand over her mouth barely holding back tears. 

Alphys looked horrified. 

Undyne looked ready to kill anything that moved. Unfortunately, the only people around were friends so that would have to wait for who knows how long. 

Frisk looked haunted and had an anger on their face he’d never seen on them before. Not blood lust but not happy either.

The worst part is, that weed is still out there somewhere. Maybe torturing some other family, maybe doing nothing. He’ll never know what happened to it or if it’ll come back again. His unease grew and he shook himself out of his thoughts before he went too far in. 

He never wanted them to see this. 

Never wanted them to see him like this. 

The room was silent again, this time nobody had the courage to break it. Only two people in the room knew what just happened and neither of them felt like sharing. Sans walked up to the screen, the surface once again fizzing like a broken TV. He punched it hoping that maybe it would stop. He knew logically it would do nothing, without magic he was weak. Not to mention that wherever they were wasn’t going to break anytime soon. Frisk stumbled forward next to Sans. They watched him for a bit. 

Sans’ eyelights were trained on the screen, watching what little movement there was with disdain. He was glaring at so heavily they almost thought the screen would crack under the pressure. Frisk turned back to the screen and sniffled.

They never thought Flowey was telling the truth. That he’d met Sans and Papyrus.

They growled and hit the screen with the side of their fist, surprising everyone in the room. 

“Stop it!” they yelled, hitting the screen again. Sans finally took action. He moved away from his brother and wrapped them up in a hug. 

“Hey it’s okay kid, It’s okay.” Frisk wholeheartedly disagreed. None of this was okay. Sans should have been able to tell them in his own time. Even though Frisk knew that if this hadn’t happened, Sans never would have told anyone. Maybe that would have been for the best. Frisk started to calm down regardless. Papyrus stepped forward cautiously, his eyes almost seemed haunted. 

“Brother I-I don’t….I don’t understand.” He stared at the screen like it was going to kill them all. Sans realized it was probably going to, or at least show it. Especially if it showed this. Sans’ spirit sank, realizing he had to explain in some capacity.

“I can’t explain much of it bro. It’s-” Sans cut off and looked to Frisk for help. He didn’t know how to explain.

“Was it a nightmare?” Toriel asked lightly and Sans shook his head. 

“No, but I wish it was.” Frisk stepped up to add to Sans’ minimalist answers.

“Determination is… odd. It gives you abilities you never thought could exist. Sometimes you wish they were as impossible as everyone believed.” Frisk took a deep breath and continued. All the attention was now on them.

“It gives you control over the timeline. The ability to save, load, and… reset”. Frisk looked at Alphys subconsciously.

“So what happens when you inject something without a soul with determination.” Frisk’s throat stopped working as they choked on a sob. Sans dropped his jacket on them without hesitation and it’s weight helped them feel better. It was a symbol of support that Frisk accepted as they pulled the worn blue fabric closer. Alphys looked sick, her scales taking on a green hue. Sans picked up where Frisk left off. 

“The weed could control timelines like that. Specifically it could load or reset back to a specific point in time… and then start over. I can remember them a bit better than others, I'm assuming because of my eye and what happened back then. It's not everything but the more it happens the more I remember” Sans looked unbelievably tired, like the topic itself was exhausting. Without warning, Sans was glomped in another hug by his brother.

“So that really-” Papyrus hugged him harder.

“I'm sorry.” Sans said quietly. He was sorry he had to learn about it this way. Sorry he never protected him. Sans didn't know how to comfort him. Sure, this was something he'd discovered himself. A pain he was familiar with. But he didn't do a very good job comforting himself and he never imagined he'd be in this situation. He never wanted them to know.

“I-It’s all my fault… I-I made him.” Alphys sank to her knees and Undyne was the first to comfort her. Part of Sans wanted to yell. Yell that she was right, that she caused this. But Sans knew she never could have known what would happen. Sans looked at her and smiled softly. He forgave her and she got the message. 

“It wasn’t a one time deal.” Sans said plainly. His eye-lights were dimmer. It was almost like he was somewhere else as he spoke.   
“I’m just warning you. It isn’t gonna get better from here” Sans felt they deserved to know. To know how bad his memories turn from here. 

At least in some capacity.

He didn’t have the strength to explain it then but as he heard the screen come to life again he knew they’d see soon enough. 

“W-We shouldn’t be watching t-this.” Alphys said quietly. She was looking at the screen in horror and loathing. Sans was pretty sure some of it was directed toward herself. After all something like that can’t be fixed with a few words and a forgiving look.

Sans didn’t didn’t reply to her comment. She was right though. Not only was the situation unusual, this never should have happened, but it was an invasion of privacy. A momentous invasion of privacy.

It’s not like they found his journal and started reading it. No, these were his memories, his experiences. It was too easy to pretend that none of it actually happened to him. That he was watching some other monsters memories or recalling a book he’d read. Sans was full with a powerful sense of dread seeing himself sleeping peacefully. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible, I'm supposed be posting tomorrow not Friday XD
> 
> I wanna say this is a one time thing but in reality its not. I just get too excited to post it after i finish proofing lol


	26. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're my sun. my whole world. I would give up everything if it meant you could keep turning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another shortish chapter

_ Sans woke-up exhausted. He had a splitting headache that made any light pierce his skull. He slowly sat-up noticing he didn’t feel sore just tired. Sans has had his fair share of days where the thought of moving just made him settle into bed even more, but this tiredness felt different. It settled deep into his core. Sans heard movement in the kitchen, most likely Papyrus making breakfast (or lunch).  _

_ “What time is it?” Sans wondered aloud. He turned to get out of bed but groaned when the small movement made him feel like collapsing. Or better yet, falling right back asleep. But he knew Papyrus was making food for both of them and the least Sans could do was show up to eat it.  _

_ Technically he didn’t have to walk down stairs if he didn’t want to. It would be a gross misuse of his magic but no one’s ever had before. Who’s to say this isn’t exactly how it should be used. Sans gave in to his lazy desires and decided to take a shortcut down the stairs to meet him. However, he fell to his knees when he hit the zig-zag carpet of their living room floor. He must have made a sound since Papyrus came rushing into the room not far after.  _

_ “Brother are you okay!” Papyrus kneeled and hovered a hand over Sans shoulder. Sans breathed towards the carpet not facing his brother yet. His head was pounding even more. _

_ “Yeah I just..” Sans cut himself off not knowing how to explain the way he felt. He wasn’t tired physically, not emotionally, more like his soul was tired. It was like whatever tiredness ran through his blood. He explained as much and Papyrus nodded along, visibly concerned and startled.  _

_ “Brother...have you used a lot of magic recently” Papyrus said reluctantly.  _

_ Sans thought back “Not more than usual, why?” Papyrus began wringing his hands. His own nervous tick much like how Sans rubs the back of his skull.  _

_ “It sounds a lot like what Undyne called ‘Magical Exhaustion’ she explained it to me when we were training the other day”. Papyrus answered. Sans looked at him confused. He remember Alphys mentioning something about it back then. He never really pried for detail though. Now he kinda wished he did. It would help with the look Papyrus was giving him or the way his hands still hesitantly reached for Sans. But at least he would know why. The whole situation was earily familiar.  _

_ Papyrus took a deep breath and started to explain. _

_ “Undyne said we were done for the day but I insisted I could do more. I was so sure I had more to give. But… she explained if you use too much magic at once your soul needs time to produce more, she said if you continue to use magic too much after, you could…” Papyrus stopped but Sans filled in the blanks.  _

_ ‘It’s the first step to falling down.’  _

_ “I doubt that’s what's happening, but I’ll take it easy just in case okay Pap” Sans said. His tone was serious and Papyrus perked-up.  _

_ “You can also try my new recipe! That will make you feel better too” He tried brightening the mood. Sans got-up and walked to the kitchen almost collapsing in the nearest chair. Papyrus gave him a concerned look but the conversation didn’t continue any further. _

_ Over the course of the meal the tiredness seemed to lessen. Well not exactly lessen. It came in and out, like it wasn’t sure if it should be there or not. Sans wished his body would pick one. He was sick of thinking it was finally over with only to collapse on the way to the “Librarby”.  _

_ The only reason he was going in the first place was to prove Papyrus wrong. He wanted to show him he was overreacting but Sans was concerned with his lack of knowledge on the subject in the first place. Unfortunately every book related to “Magical Exhaustion” said exactly what Papyrus did. Papyrus’ unofficial diagnosis was starting to become impossible to deny. The only issue was that it was primarily caused by a large release of magic and normally in a short period of time.  _

_ Sans had never used that much magic in his life let alone recently.  _

_ He’d remember if he did.  _

_ The only time he got close was when he was a kid. He growled and slammed the book on his desk next to a pile of 5 more. The action earned him a few grumpy looks and Sans decided to take his reading on the go. At least then he can slam his books in peace.  _

_ He started reading his newly checked out books in the dining room, flipping through pages frantically.  _

_ ‘How can something make so much sense but make no sense at all at the same time’ He dragged his hand across his skull in annoyance.  _

_ “This. Is. So. Dumb.” Sans punctuated each word by slamming his head on the table. It did wonders for his newly returning headache. Papyrus walked into the kitchen to see his older brother face down in a book grumbling. He gave him a weird look but B-lined to the fridge regardless.  _

_ “Brother, can you move to the living room? I have to cook.” Papyrus said, digging in the fridge. Surprisingly, he wasn’t throwing ingredients haphazardly across the kitchen.  _

_ “C’mon bro just let me sit here I walked all the way from the Librarby”. It was a feeble attempt. The only way he could stay there was if he helped cook and they both knew he wasn’t, especially not today.  _

_ “Sans I need the whole kitchen to prepare the meal for my new friend.” Papyrus said not giving in.  _

_ “who’s this new friend anyway?” Sans grumbled. Even so he started packing up his books, taking advantage of the brief break from his tiredness.  _

_ “Oh! I never told you! His name is Flowery!” Sans’ stomach flipped upside-down and he gagged. Papyrus jumped in surprise and grabbed the garbage can just in time.Suddenly everything returned full force. His headache more and his limbs felt weighed down but iron. In short, he felt horrid. Sans leaned back in his chair groaning.  _

_ “Brother uh you can stay if you want” Papyrus relented quietly. Sans hated it when Papyrus lost his usual confidence. When his voice became quiet and unsure. He had the same look on his face as that morning. He looked heartbroken and Sans felt just as helpless. If anyone else had put that look on his face they’d be six feet under in six seconds. But he did that. _

_ “Nah bro, It’s fine I was j-just teasing I-I’ll go down stairs” Sans said mentally cursing his stuttering. Papyrus looked skeptical but nodded so Sans sent one final thumbs-up and smile as he heaved himself out of the chair and walked out the door.  _

_ His smile slipped as soon as he was out of viewing range. He clutched his stomach, that name kept repeating in his head. He reached the lab in the basement, collapsing into the rolling office chair by his desk. He hadn’t been down here in ages. It still sent a spike up guilt to his soul when he sat in this chair.  _

_ The room in whole was less dusty than he expected.  _

_ He didn’t have time of this. Somehow the mere thought of a name he’d never heard sent his stomach tumbling into circles.  _

_ ‘None of this makes sense.’ The same thought that had repeated through his head all day. Magical Exhaustion without using excess magic, one name that he had never heard before causing this type of reaction. Sans knew he was missing one major piece of the puzzle.  _

_ He groaned and turned to his desk setting his stack books down next to a lone yellow petal. Suddenly, Sans froze looking straight ahead. His eye lights shrunk as he stared at the wall in front of him. He never had flowers in here. Sans turned and stared at the petal, it was slightly crushed and burnt. Sans reached a shaking hand for it, but pulled back.  _

_ “It’s. Just. A. Petal” Sans ground out through clenched teeth.  _

_ ‘It was probably swept in with Papyrus one day’ He reasoned. _

_ Sans was filled with emotions he shouldn’t be experiencing, ghosts of past grievances that never happened. Grief, Hate, Sadness, a burning need for Justice. Sans lurched his hand out picking-up the pedal to prove a point to his own mind. It was a little petal, nothing more.  _

_ He was so very wrong.  _

_ Once he picked-up the petal, half-memories that weren't his filled his mind. Ghosts of this day except unthinkable.  _

_ “17” he said aloud. The word sent shivers down his spine. Somehow saying it made it more really.  _

_ Papyrus died 17 times and he only remembered last time.  _

_ Papyrus died 17 times and he forgot each one of them.  _

**_What kind of a brother was he?_ **

_ He turned around to the once tarp covered machine. The blue cover was currently laying on the floor thrown off hastily.  _

_ ‘Did I- Did i do that?” Sans wondered.  _

_ He stood up, feeling the ache of movement. It brought back another ghost of a memory. His ‘Magical Exhaustion’ was his body remembering something his mind didn’t. That fight, he went all out. Used up every bit of magic he had. Sans realized something else. He remembered now, he could stop Papyrus, he could save him this time.  _

_ Sans was suddenly filled with determination to save his brother and stumbled out of the lab, bursting into the kitchen of his home. But Papyrus wasn’t there, only a lone orange sticky-note.  _

**_Sans! I have gone out to have a picnic with my friend earlier since he told me there was going to be a storm later. I will see you soon brother!_ **

**_-The Great Papyrus_ **

_   
_ _ “No, Nonono!” Sans slammed his hand on the table and burst-out the door again. He hadn’t even ran that far past the house and his legs felt like they would give out, but the image of Papyrus’ dust mixing with the pristine snow pushed him on. Sans didn’t know where he was running. His legs took him through the forest on their own. Purely muscle memory.  _

_ This wasn’t supposed to happen this way, the only reason that  _ **_thing_ ** _ would change it, was if it suspected Sans was catching-on. He heard his brother's voice.  _

_ ‘How long has he been out here already?’ Sans wondered nervously.  _

_ “Friend, why are a-attacking me?” Sans heard Papyrus say.  _

_ He sounded nervous and confused, he didn’t sound terrified or hurt.  _

_ Sans might have gotten here in time. Sans burst into the clearing frantically. The location itself sent a wave of half-memories his way. But the scene in front of him made him too furious to pay attention. Papyrus had a bone staff that he had obviously used to block several attacks. White pellets were already on the ground. Sans saw the remanence of a picnic in the corner of the clearing.  _

_ All attention snapped to him.  _

_ The flower gave a devilish grin that made him sick. However, Sans’ sudden appearance shocked Papyrus who paused in his defense. It gave Flowey the opening he desired. He shot a vine around Papyrus’ neck as Sans summoned a Gaster Blaster. The world spun as he used magic but he pushed the black away. He resisted the need to lower himself on one knee, do anything that would show weakness. Flowey smirked.  _

_ “Wow Trash Bag, look who finally got with the program” Sans heard Papyrus gag behind him. He wanted nothing more but to kill the Flower where he stood. To fire and be done with this hell he had lived for who knows how long, but he knew Papyrus would be devastated. Not to mention Sans didn’t want to become a killer, to stoop to his level.  _

_ “ _ **_Let. Him. Go”_ ** _ Sans said instead, eye sockets blank. He inched closer to his brother, whose feet barely touched the ground.  _

_ “Wow and you're not killing me!” The flower narrowed their eyes at him. Even so he seemed more amused than anything. _

_ “Why is that? Is it because of you dear brother?” Flowey tightened the grip again and Sans sent a panicked look his brother's way but not for long. He was unwilling to turn his back to Flowey longer than he had to. He was so close now, he could almost reach Papyrus. _

_ “Or is it some twisted set of morals you have?” They continued sneering.  _

_ “The only twisted set of morals around here are yours.” Sans fired back on instinct. Flowey laughed an insane laugh.  _

_ “Things are really getting interesting now aren’t they?” Flowey said, almost seeming excited. It made Sans sick.  _

_ “But next time Trash-bag, kill me on sight” Sans saw the vine shoot directly at Papyrus’ chest, at his soul, and Sans did the only thing he could think of. He jumped in front of his brother and fired his Gaster Blaster at the same time putting the small amount of magic he had into the blast.  _

_ The action decimated Flowey’s HP, but the flower continued to laugh as they burrowed under the ground. He never had the chance to ponder why he didn’t do one damage. Never realized what that meant. Sans heard a distant yell and a thump. He looked through blurry eyes to see his brother fussing over him.  _

_ ‘Why is he upset?’ Sans thought. Sans noticed big orange tears flowing from his brother's eyes and he wanted nothing more than to wipe them away. His limbs felt heavy as he reached up and brushed away the tears.  _

_ The action only seemed to make him cry harder.  _

_ Sans opened his mouth to apologize but his hazed adrenaline faded and the pain kicked-in. A sharp pain in his chest that was almost unbearable. Sans almost wished for the haze to return. He gratefully accepted it when the world tinted black and his pain began dull. Papyrus was speaking, maybe yelling, either way he couldn’t hear as the world was fading. Feeling as though it would be the last time he could say it he mustered up the last of his energy. _

**_“I Love You”_ **

_ He wasn’t around to hear the strangled cry that rang through the forest afterward.  _


	27. Technicalities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A kinda Chapter detailing how memories and other things work throughout the story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw Some of these come from notes in previous chapters but some stuff is new aswell.

#  **How Gaster Memories Work (Stages):**

Sans and Alphys remember because they spent so much time with Gaster before the incident so they have the most memories with him period. (besides his apparent family but we don't talk about them *wink* ). They still have blank spots and blurry things but they remember a lot more than most people. They're where they are because of Gaster after all. He's also the whole reason they became friends.

I think of it like 3 stages of memory.

Stage 1’s are the ones who don’t remember at all. They tend to have had little to no memories of Gaster before he got erased. Monsters who vaguely knew of the royal scientist but never ‘knew’ him. Examples would probably be Monster Kid, and Bratty and Catty.

Stage 2’s are the inbetweeners. These monsters had some memories involving Gaster or have been influenced by him in second hand ways. Like Papyrus and Undyne. Both have been told stories about Gaster by Sans and Alphys respectively. After Gaster got erased Stage 2’s have deja vu moments or flashes of memory that have to be triggered. They don’t normally stay remembered minus a few exceptions. 

This may or may not come as a surprise but Asgore is actually a Stage 2 as well. This is because Asgore has always wanted to get to know his subjects and monsters working under him. When Gaster became royal scientist I’d like to think Asgore popped in periodically or had a talk with him as he was hired. Asgore is borderline Stage 3 because of the amount of time he most likely spent with Gaster.

And then Stage 3’s. We know quite a bit about these monsters from previous chapters. Sans and Alphys are the only Stage 3’s we know about so far. They have a significant amount of memories with Gaster and have been influenced by him first hand in many ways. This means that they retain more memory than most and, while what they remember might fluctuate a bit, it mostly stays the same. They are aware of the fact that their memories are being ‘iffy’ which is why they sometimes have trouble searching for a memory that might have been there before but has faded, being replaced by another. 

Finally it’s rare for monsters to ‘up’ Stages. In others words a Stage 1 can not become a Stage 2. A Stage 2 can borderline a Stage 3 but can’t fully cross over. On the other hand, it's fairly easy to regress Stages.

#  **How Reset Memories work:**

Contrary to how it may seem Sans does NOT remember everything from every reset. Mostly large details (his brother being killed but not how the day went before that moment, stuff like that). Also he doesn’t remember off the bat. Normally something has to trigger his memories (like the flower pedal or the way Flowey talked). In addition Sans will get kinda a deja vu reaction at some point. After enough resets, things that constantly repeat will start feeling more familiar. This is the only exection to remembering small details. Finally, as you saw in the last chapter, Sans’ body remembers more than his mind does. Phantom pains, and magic exhaustion side effects are examples of that. Even though he doesn’t actually have magic depletion, his body thinks he does and that he should. It's why it also fades in and out, because his body literally doesn't know if he has magic exhaustion or not.

Other monsters normally only have senses of deja vu instead if any memories at all. The reason why Sans remembers more is because of his unusual connection to the void because of the way he momentarily passes through it when he shortcuts. The void is a place  **unaffected** by resets. Sans also has the “radiation” like particles from the explosion to thank as well. 

#  **Sans' Eye:**

Then we go to Sans' eye.

Gaster started the machine before it overloaded, meaning it already started running its program. To go through time it was opening its own rift through, when it exploded it opened multiple rips instead and residual energy entered Sans' eye. It gave him the ability to see the tears in time caused by the machine and interact with them since some of energy is inside of him. The explosion (or should I say implosion) of the machine was mostly contained in the true lab area, but the rips spread across the entire underground. This is how Sans uses his shortcuts. He also has to see his destination rip first and picture coming out there (which is why he couldn't leave when he was panicking).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have missed a few things so this chapter will be added to once in a while. If it is, I'll mention it in the notes in case anyone wants to look.
> 
> Also feel free to ask any questions! Some stuff i might not have explained clearly and i'd be happy to clarify or answer a new question (as long as it isn't gonna be a spoiler!)


End file.
